My Visit With My Parents

Many of those who read my blogs knows that things have been a bit stressed when it comes to family issues. Not so much in my home household, but with my family that lives in Arizona.

My mom standing by her roses

This last week my husband and I went to go visit my mom who has stage 4 lung and colon-rectal cancer. When I talked to my moms nurse about how things were going and what they are doing for her, they said all they are doing in helping her with her pain. They aren’t doing anything else since she is on hospice. As I was reading her paper work from her tests they are giving her 2-4 months. They gave her that time frame about a month ago. When I visited my parents, my mom looked pretty good considering all things. At least cancer wise she seems to be doing OK.

Mom and I were able to walk around and plant some flowers that I bought for my mom. She loves her flowers. Her favorite flower is the yellow rose. Must be why I like them the best also. It must run in the family.

I was also able to get a chance to visit with my dad who is under a great deal of stress that is brought on from my mom dying and all the fighting that is going on down there. Chuck and I tried to stay away from the legal things they are going through and stay clear of conversations that has been dividing the family. It seems like many want everything my parents have and they have so little to begin with. It bothers me to no end to see all the fighting and backbiting that is going on. I do think that if mom and dad was left alone where they could depend on each other instead of their children trying to take everything before they are gone makes me sick. There is nothing in this world that is worth taking and fighting over when it comes to peoples lives.

My dad and mom

I think of the Bible verse in Mark 13:12 where it says, “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child. Children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death”. This verse describes what is going on at my parents. There is so much hatred when all that is needed is compassion and love. I can’t understand why material things trump family and people. I know I have made my share of mistakes and have hurt people and I thank God I have been forgiven. My mom was asking me about why is it that she can’t enjoy the time she has left? She also wanted to know what it is that she did that caused all this fighting. I told her that those who are taking and causing divisions aren’t there to do good, they are doing harm. If they aren’t motivated by love and wanting to help, then they shouldn’t be there. I know she is having a hard time understanding and so is my dad. Both of them are being taken advantage of and both of them just want to have some peace in what time they have left. When they asked me why is it that they can’t have that, I didn’t know the answer. I can speculate but I don’t get it either.

My husband and I drove a long way to get there and was only able to sit and visit for about 7 hours over two days. I am glad I went down there and my parents did respect me in not fighting while I was there. Before we left, things were starting to get heated and my brother was bringing out legal papers he wanted me to help him with and I refused to do that. I will have no part in destroying my parents and I will not choose between them. We left shortly after things were getting a bit hairy.

1415901_19895416_edited-1I feel very blessed to have the life I do and that is only because of my faith in Christ. I can say with 100 percent certainty that my daughters were raised to love family and God. When God is in charge of our lives, the hard times can be handled easier. My parents know what my views and beliefs are. I was able to get into a little of that with my mom. My dad is having a hard time hearing, so it was hard talking to him since he couldn’t understand or hear much. Which I think is a big issue for him and in part the reason he is so frustrated. When my mom and I talked about God, I do think she took it to heart. She was baptized at the LDS church (Mormons). I was able to ask her about why she felt it was important to be baptized and if she believed that Jesus Christ died for her so that she could live forever. She said that she understands that and she said she is tired and ready to be with her mom. My grandma died when I was 10 yrs old and she was a Sunday School teacher. I do believe that she was baptized for the right reason. That made the trip worth while for me.

I was able to get family pictures and tell both of my parents that I loved them. I don’t feel comfortable with all the other things going on there. I do feel that Satan is at work and that there is a spiritual battle going on. A friend of my dads was saying how the devil is dwelling in the house and in part, I do believe that. I also know that my God is bigger than any demon or evil force. I have the kind of faith that can move mountains and God is more powerful than anything and anyone else.

My dad has been very stressed out. Tomorrow he has to go to court because of some violence between him and my brother. The police and courts are tired of all the fighting. I pray that everything will work out. I did tell my dad that if they charge him and they don’t drop the charges that he is welcome to come and live with me. I hope that doesn’t happen. But I am prepared to let him stay here if he needs it. With all the things going on, he could end up in jail since he was backed into a corner and set up. I won’t go into all the ugliness, but I do want to ask for prayers on his behalf and on behalf of my mom so they both can have quality of life and a life filled with peace and love.

My sister Joyce and Bren

I should add also that I did get a chance to see my sisters in Phoenix. The visit was short but nice. I am really proud of my sister Brenda who has paid for her own home and is working. She got stuck in the middle of my parents stuff and it has been very hard on her. I would like to spend more time visiting with her after all of this fighting is done and over with. I also seen my sister Joyce who was helping my parents and it got to be so much. Joyce was a nervous wreck and her health is on the line so she had to leave my parents home. She needs to get to the point of where she has to be able to take care of herself and her needs. She can’t help anyone else if she can’t take care of herself. I pray things go well for Joyce and that she can make a life that she deserves.

We only spent 4 days away from home and the drive to my parents is a 14 hour drive, so most of our time was driving and sleeping. Well for me sleeping, Chuck did all the driving. Thanks to all of those who helped me get to see my mom since this trip is the last one I will make down there and it will be the last time I see her. I can’t say how blessed I am to have wonderful friends, family (most) and God in my life.