Memories of Angelhaven- Making Friends


If you’re looking for one of a kind jewelry and all things angels, you will love Angelhaven.  Check out Angelhaven

Lately, I’ve been thinking about a young lady who I met in a chatroom on Angelhaven.  I’m going to write about some of the friends that I’ve made in Angelhaven.  This is my experience with trying to learn how to find Angelhaven on the computer.

This is the kind of computer we had in our house.

I believe my first experience with any computer type of machine was around 1997 or 98. I always felt like computers will be a passing fad. I had no desire or need to get on any computers. I would get into arguments with my husband and daughters since I thought they weren’t worth getting one.  I felt like it was a waste of time and boy was I wrong on that one.

My husband is a truck driver and while he was in his truck he was reading a magazine. One one of the pages there was an advertisement. The advertisement was about a website called Angelhaven. Since I believe in angels and I’ve had times when I’ve experienced the healing touch and presence of angels around me.

We did eventually get a computer in the house and it had Windows 98 on it. The issue with the computer is that I had no clue how to even turn it on. I didn’t know what a keyboard or a mouse was. Well, I knew what a mouse was, but the only mouse I knew was the kind that needs to be killed.


My daughter Jessica was in high school and she was taking a computer class. I asked her when she got home if she could help me find the website and if she would help me get started.  After she got home, we sat down together and she showed me how to turn the computer on. This was the beginning of a new world that was opening in front of my eyes.

aol_am1298m52The computer shown here is similar to what we had. So, I turned the computer on and she told me we needed to get online. Egads, that was a word I’ve never heard. I was getting stressed and we were just starting. I asked her how we get online and she told me we have to sign up for the internet through a company. We didn’t have WIFI back then.  We had dial-up and I think it was 56 Mbps. That means it took at times 5 minutes to go through. For some websites, it would take a while for the pages to transfer. We didn’t have the money to get the internet, but we got a disk in the mail and it was through AOL We were excited because we had 100 free hours. We thought we scored big time (WRONG). When I mentioned how getting a computer wastes time. Well, I was right. you don’t pay attention to the clock.

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Now, after a 5-10 minute wait to get connected, we were ready to look for Angelhaven. We’ve already wasted about 30 minutes trying to get online. Here’s a 30-second youtube video that will give you an example of the sound that goes along with getting hooked up to the internet. We dealt with this sound for around 10 minutes. Click here to listen to the dial-up tone.


Whoo Hoo, now I’m ready to find the website that my husband told me I should check out. I should let you know that I have never learned how to type. it took me a minute to type out the name of the website once I figured out where I’m supposed to put the address. My daughter had to do her homework, so she told me to just type out the name of the website in the box on the top and the page and hit enter. Again, I’ve never been on a computer and I’ve never typed anything. It took me about 20 minutes to type the name of the URL.

The reason it took so long was that Jessica was in her room doing her homework and she is telling me what to do from another room. I was getting pretty upset by this time because I didn’t understand the language for computers. At this point, I would have been OK throwing the computer out of the window. Jessica had to come and help me since I didn’t know what a URL was. When she said it’s the address, that confused me even more. When I think of an address to a place, I think it’s like the address of a person’s house. But, now, I’m wasting a lot more time and I still haven’t figured out how to find the website. I sure hope the website is worth the aggravation.

She finished what she was doing and came into my room and in seconds she had the page I wanted. Now the problem with that was that she did it herself and that didn’t show me what I needed to do. Anyhow, I eventually made it to the website.

She went back to her room to do her homework. I had to call her back into my room because I didn’t know how to use the mouse which means I didn’t know how to move it or click on it when I found the page I wanted. So, I had to sit and wait for her to show me how to click on the mouse and move it to roll over the link to the page I wanted. Ugh, to say that I was frustrated was a major understatement. It was probably close to midnight by the time I got to the place where I could click on a page. I had to pick Jessica and Beckiah up from school around 3:30 in the afternoon.

exit-signSince it was so late, I had to give up for the night. Jessica told me that all I have to do is exit out of the page and then turn off the computer.  She did come into the room and showed me how to move the mouse. so, now I’m looking for a place where it says “exit”. let me tell you right now, I did NOT find the “EXIT” button.

I want to share this little tidbit. When you’re trying to show someone how to even turn on and shut down a computer, it’s best to not leave them to their own resources.  Anyhow, I was very upset over this who computer thing since I had no clue what I was doing. All I accomplished was Jessica helping me get online and starting up the computer. I spent hours and hours on this whole ordeal and I couldn’t figure out how to exit out of Angelhavens webpage. I didn’t even know how to surf the page or find anything on the website.


Once I figured out with the help of my daughter, I just had to shut off the computer. She asked me if I needed any more help. I told her I could figure it out and for her to go to bed since she had school the next day. I should have had her come into my bedroom where the computer was.  I tried to look fr a place where it said to turn off the computer. Most of you probably know already that I was having issues.  I couldn’t find the button to shut it off. Jessica turned the computer on so I didn’t see where she did that.  So, I’m looking at the window of the computer and there are no words that says shut down or power or anything. This is what I see since I shut the window to Angelhaven down.


Put a blanket over the computer and went to bed.

Since it was now around 1AM, I needed to figure out something since Jessica and Beckiah was in bed. Beckiah was alway in bed around 8pm and Jessica is a night owl like I am. I was beyond ticked over this whole computer ordeal and I almost chucked it out of the balcony in my bedroom. I’m going through all of this frustration because I really really wanted to go to Angelhavens website.  I did figure out how to shut the computer down though and I knew it wasn’t what I should have done. This was my remedy for turning off the computer without destroying it.

I want to close this out by saying that I did eventually figure out how to turn my computer off and I was able to find Angelhaven. Even though I was frustrated and wanted to throw my computer out the window, things worked out and I made some awesome friends.

Preparing for Christmas and Advent

I’ve been listening to a podcast that Pastor Peter Frey has been doing. I normally don’t listen to podcasts, but his podcast is being published in the early mornings and I’m always doing my IV meds at the time he is publishing them. As most who come to my blog, you know that I have the chronic form of Guillian Barre Syndrome and I have Myasthenia Gravis. With peter Freys podcast, I’ve found peace since I’m usually the only one in my house awake.

I started listening to another channel that Pastor Peter Frey and his wife Mary Frey has. His wife Mary has Cystic Fibrosis. I started watching them about a year ago. Youtube suggested its channel when I was watching Claire Winelands channel. I don’t know why I have suggested their channels, but I’m guessing it was because I was looking for a trailer for Fault in our Stars. The story is about 2 people who have cystic fibrosis. I knew a movie was coming out that’s based on the book named, “Five Feet Apart”. The movie wasn’t out, but Claire’s channel popped up and so did “The Frey Life”. “Five Feet Apart” is available now and it has been one of my favorite movies. I’ve watched it a number of times. I ended up buying it on ROKU. If you haven’t watched it yet, you should. It’s such a good movie.

The Frey Life youTube Channel   and Claire Winelands YouTube Channel

podcastHis messages are pretty short which is great for me since I have a short attention span. They are normally under 10 minutes. His podcast has been based on Advent. Advent began on December 1st, 2019. Since listening to Peter Frey’s podcast, they reminded me of how much I miss having an Advent service at my church. We haven’t had it for the last few years. I’m not sure why it isn’t at church any longer. But, I’m grateful that Peter Frey is doing it. The name of the series which includes messages about Advent is “Living in Hope”.

What is Advent? 

Advent is a period of spiritual preparation in which many Christians make themselves ready for the coming, or birth of the Lord, Jesus Christ. Celebrating Advent typically involves a season of prayer, fasting, and repentance, followed by anticipation, hope, and joy. Advent is for the period of four Sundays/weeks before Christmas.

I’m sure most people have seen the Advent Calendars that are in stores now. When I worked in a grocery store, most of our customers didn’t actually understand what Advent is. Since I couldn’t talk about faith-based things. Most parents thought that it was just a fun way to count down the days until Christmas. We’ve had parents returning the calenders when they figured out the calenders actually meant.


1st CANDLE – (purple or blue) THE PROPHECY CANDLE 

And again, Isaiah says, ‘The Root of Jesse will spring up, one who will arise to rule over the nations; the Gentiles will hope in him.’  May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” ~ Romans 15:12-13

2nd CANDLE – (purple candle) represents faith. It is called the “Bethlehem Candle” as a reminder of Mary and Joseph’s journey to Bethlehem. God kept his promise of a Savior who would be born in Bethlehem

As is written in the book of the words of Isaiah the prophet:  ‘A voice of one calling in the desert, ‘Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him.  Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill made low.  The crooked roads shall become straight, the rough ways smooth.  And all mankind will see God’s salvation.‘ ~ Luke 3:4-6


On the third Sunday of Advent the pink, or rose-colored candle is lit. This pink candle is customarily called the “Shepherds Candle,” and it represents joy:

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. (Luke 2:8–11, NIV)


The fourth and last purple candle, often called the “Angels Candle,” represents peace and is lit on the fourth Sunday of Advent.

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” (Luke 2:13–14, NIV)


The white candle reminds us that Jesus is the spotless lamb of God, sent to wash away our sins.  His birth was for his death, his death was for our birth!

The white candle is lit on Christmas Eve. This candle represents the life of Christ that has come into the world. The color white represents purity. Christ is the sinless, spotless, pure Savior. Those who receive Christ as Savior are washed of their sins and made whiter than snow:

“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” (Isaiah 1:18, NIV)

An Advent Prayer for The Lord to Come

I’ve been looking for pictures for this blog post and I came across this Advent Prayer and it was perfect. This prayer is an awesome way to divert our attention when it comes to the true meaning of Christmas. It isn’t about the gifts under the tree. The poem that Renee Swoop wrote is a reminder that we need to open our hearts and focus on the birth of Christ.

The Christmas Prayer below was written by~Renee Swope, “The Manger of My Heart” from Proverbs 31 Ministries

This Advent, Lord, come to the manger of my heart.
Fill me with Your presence from the very start.
As I prepare for the holidays and gifts to be given,
Remind me of the gift You gave when You sent Your Son from Heaven.
The first Christmas gift, it was the greatest gift ever.
You came as a baby born in a manger.
Wrapped like the gifts I find under my tree,
Waiting to be opened, to reveal Your love to me.
Restore to me the wonder that came with Jesus’ birth,
When He left the riches of Heaven and wrapped Himself in rags of earth.
Immanuel, God with us, Your presence came that night.
And angels announced, “Into your darkness, God brings His Light.”
“Do not be afraid,” they said, to shepherds in the field.
Speak to my heart today, Lord, and help me to yield.
Make me like those shepherd boys, obedient to Your call.
Setting distractions and worries aside, to You I surrender them all.
Surround me with Your presence, Lord, I long to hear Your voice.
Clear my mind of countless concerns and all the holiday noise.
Slow me down this Christmas, let me not be in a rush.
In the midst of parties and planning, I want to feel Your hush.
This Christmas, Jesus, come to the manger of my heart.
Invade my soul like Bethlehem, bringing peace to every part.
Dwell within and around me, as I unwrap Your presence each day.
Keep me close to You, Lord. It’s in Your wonderful Name I pray.

Jaspers Memorial Heart


This is the second night that I got Jasper. This was his first doggie bed. He must not have ever had his own bed since he was laying outside of the bed and not in it. 

On October 21st at 3;30 P.M. my jasper went over the Rainbow Bridge. (Click Here to Read about him before he went to the Rainbow Bridge) Jaspers Memorial Heart that has some of his ashes in it came back yesterday (December 1st). I received an email last Weds and they said that Jasper was coming home and it will arrive either Friday or Saturday and to expect him then. I know that it isn’t his physical self, but it is a part of him since his ashes were in the heart.


I’ve been having such a hard time since Jasper died. He has had a special place in my heart since the moment I got him. Jasper chose me and has always been my dog. Jasper could say “My Momma” even though my husband would say he is just being vocal. He can say whatever he wants to say, I know he said “My Momma.” It was always when I was gone and just came into the house. he would chase our other dogs away and he wouldn’t let them come close to me. Jasper was pretty loud when he did this.


When Jaspers Memorial Heart arrived yesterday, my hands were shaking and I had to wait for a few minutes to wait to open it. I did stab my finger since I was in tears and shaking. Thankfully I didn’t hurt myself too bad.

This is an image from Rainbow Bridges Website- If you’re lost a 4 legged family member, you should contact them so you have them create something special from his/her ashes.

Richard or Erin from Rainbow Bridge Hearts was awesome to work with. They replied really fast anytime I had a question or concern. My friend Eric Dodge went through Rainbow Bridge and I’m so happy that he shared the information. I would have scattered Jaspers ashes if he didn’t share the orb he got for his dog Anna and his cat Bart. They died a few weeks apart and Rainbow Bridge created a memorial orb for Eric. I never heard of anything like this being done out of ashes.

When I finally got past the shaky hands since I knew what was in the box, the tears started flowing. Rainbow Bridge did such a wonderful job on it. Jasper’s heart was beautiful and I loved it. I ended up getting the lighted stand and it was perfect. it’s hard to find the right words when it comes to describing how perfect Jaspers Memorial Heart was. I know I could never get him back since he has gone over the bridge, but I have a part of Jasper that I can hold in my hands.

Click on the images below so you can see the full-sized images. Thank you Rainbow Bridge and thank you to the person who gifted this to me. On the back of the heart, you will notice that I had them put “Momma’s Boy”.

There won’t be a time when I won’t miss him. When I’ve had other dogs who went over the Rainbow Bridge I always think of them. Our dogs are more than dogs, they are family. I’m so grateful and blessed to know that there is someone like Rich and Erin who owns Rainbow Bridge Ashes to Glass.

I’m beyond grateful to whoever gifted Jaspers Memorial Heart to me. Rainbow Bridge only told me that it was someone who read my blog.  If you are the one who gifted jasper’s heart, I want to thank you a thousand times over again.

if you’re looking for a way to create something special in memory of your four-legged family member, this may be a good option.

Rainbow Bridge Contact Information from their website:

“Together Forever” Your Pets Ashes Memorialized in Glass Art

Crossing the Rainbow Bridge has never been more Beautiful.

Rich & Erin

Rainbow Bridge Hearts

PO BOX 1408

Langley, WA  98260

  • On Facebook as Rainbow Bridge Hearts
  • On Twitter  @Therealrainbow6
  • On Instagram as Rainbow Bridge Hearts


Missing Jasper

This is the bag that Dixie Vet put Jaspers ashes in. 

I was working on the powerpoint for my church and I took a break so I could check my voicemail. I realized I haven’t checked it for a couple of days. The first voice mail was from Dixie Veteranariums Pet Hospital. I just miss Jasper so much. I’ve been watching the videos I’ve loaded on yahoo and sadness takes over my feelings. This video is about 2 1/2 minutes. I’ve played it so many times. I think mainly as a way of me needing to justify sending him over the Rainbow Bridge.

I was listening to the message that one of the guys in the office left for me. He said that I could come and pick up Jasper. Instead of me picking up Jasper following him being sick, this time was different because I have to pick up Jaspers ashes. He went over the Rainbow Bridge last week and it’s been very difficult.I’ve been watching the videos I uploaded onto youtube and I cry. I do my best to watch his videos after Chuck goes to bed since I cry without notice.

Jasper hanging out where I can love on him anytime he wants it. 

When I sit in our spare bedroom which has turned into my office, I can’t help but think about Jasper. Jaspers’s bed was right next to my desk. If I wanted to pet him, all I had to do is reach down and pet him. If he wanted extra lovings, he would move to where my hand is and he would nudge his head against my hand. I didn’t keep Jasper is one of our crates because he got to the point where he couldn’t even lift his hind legs the opening where the door is. The grates have a 1-inch step up and he couldn’t do it.

I got snappy with my other two dogs Henry and Parker. Henry went to lay on Jaspers’s old bed and I got upset because that was Jaspers’s bed and nobody else. I didn’t mean to get upset, but I did. I also love Henry and Parker. I felt bad that I got upset with them. I was organizing things and I put Jaspers’s bed and bowl down on the floor for a few minutes.

After I calmed down, I gave Parker and Henry some extra loving, cried and told them I was sorry I got upset. I know they are dogs and probably didn’t know what I was saying. But, I needed them to know that they are loved and it wasn’t right for me to get upset with them.

Thank You For Your Kindness and Generosity


Everyone has been very kind. One person donated the funds for me to have a small number of his ashes made into a memorial glass heart. As I’m crying uncontrollably, I don’t know how I can ever repay their kindness and generosity.

Then a friend that I worked with is going to create something for the rest of Jaspers ashes. My heart is overwhelmed because of the love and generosity that everyone is showing me.

In closing, I just want to share that I know that Jasper’s soul isn’t in the body since our bodies are just a vessel for our souls and spirits. I know that he isn’t hurting any longer. I miss you Jasper and I know you are in a much better place.

Jasper RIP- You’re Free

I’ve been working on this blog post for over 8 hours and I just can’t get past the tears.


Jasper came into my life in August 2010. Jasper is my pug who rescued me more than me rescuing him. Less than 12 hours ago (10/21/19) I had to do what was best for him and let him go over the Rainbow Bridge.

I knew this day was coming about six months ago. Every day I could see that he’s getting worse. When I noticed in April or May of 2019 that he was having paralysis in his hind legs, my heart sunk. I knew when I have seen this happening that his time was short. Which means that my time with him is short.  Video of his hind legs. 

There are some people who don’t understand that our 4 legged family members are part of the family. Today has been a bad day and I’ve been in tears off and on. Anytime I see a dog on TV or anything on the computer brings me back to the moment I had to decide what was best for Jasper. It wasn’t for me, but I couldn’t put my needs and wishes ahead of his comfort and quality of life.

When I walked into Dr. Brinkerhoffs office with Jasper in my arms, the tears started flowing and I couldn’t even tell the receptionist that I didn’t want to take his body home with me and that I needed him to be cremated so I could turn his ashes into something beautiful. I was crying and trying to find my voice. There were other people with their dogs in the waiting area and they were in tears I’m sure because I was in tears. I’m in tears now as I type this. For me, this post gives me a chance to tell Jasper how much I love him and there will never be another 4 legged family member like him.

Jasper getting a treat- Oct 2011

Jasper was my shadow. Anywhere I went, he would be there. Everyone knew that Jasper chose me when I got him. I thought he would like Jessica more since she is the first person that loved him. When we picked him up it was Jessica who was holding him all the way home. As soon as we got into the house, Jasper immediately came to me. I think it was because I reminded him of someone who he loved before I got him.

As I was standing next to Jasper as they gave him a shot to make him fall asleep and 3 minutes later the vet came in and gave him an IV med to stop his heart just breaks my heart. I could see his breathing getting weaker and eventually his breathing stopped. The vet told me I could take my time with him since he was gone. I know this sounds crazy, but, I couldn’t stand there with him after he was gone considering 5 minutes before he was alive.

Since Jasper couldn’t walk to go out to potty a dear friend gifted this wagon to Jasper. 
If you look at his leg and how there aren’t any muscles to walk or anything.

I know I did what was best for him, but, it breaks my heart big time. One of the assistants in the office wrapped Jasper in a blanket. All I could think about is to keep him in the blanket so he will be warm. The logical part of my brain knows that once he died, his soul is no longer in the shell of his body that gave out on him. I believe that Jasper is now in a better place where he can see people or things. He can run and play since he hasn’t been able to since is hind legs became paralyzed and atrophy affected his muscles. He could hear some things and he would search for me since I’m guessing he could only see shadows and find me by hearing. He’s free of the things going on in his body.

As I walked out of the room where I last saw Jasper, some dear friends from church were outside the door. Rose and John Balderama was there since the vet needed to check out their dog. It was a huge blessing for me with them being there. I know they have lost their dog last year and went through the same thing. I was somewhat composed when I left the room until Rose gave me a hug and the tears started flowing again.

I can’t help but think that God put them there when I needed someone the most. My friend Jennifer Harris drove Jasper and me and she was in the room at the same time when Jasper went over the bridge. When I think that I have no more tears, then they come again.

Kindness and Compassion

bekindI’m working on a blog that will follow this one. I was going to just post the blog that will follow this first. But, while I was looking for Bible verses about kindness, I decided to do this one first. This post will be a three-part and then I will post the draft I have already done.

I’ve had a number of random thoughts on things recently. I was watching a service on ROKU. It’s from a church in Tucson, AZ.

You can be nice and not care. You can be nice to someone and still not like them. It happens all the time in this world. I had to look up information about

What the Bible says about kindness.?

  • True kindness is Spirit-produced –   But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, Galatians 5:22
  • Romans 2:4  Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience,  not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?
  • But love your enemiesand do goodand lendexpecting nothing in returnand your reward will be greatand you will be sons of the Highestfor he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Luke 6:35
  • Our kindness reflects the heart of our Father. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

lovekindnessI was thinking about how some people are considered nice or polite. Being kind to others is, in my opinion, there are various meanings to the term of showing kindness or being nice. I’ve known a bunch of people that I would put them in the category of being kind.

When a person is kind, they will go out of their way to help you without asking. I try not to mention names. But, I want to use a few friends as examples.

After I got out of the hospital last summer Shirley, Peggy and Evelyn went out of their way to visit me and they offered help, even though they know I try to do things myself. All three of the ladies showed up at my house and they said that they will help me with all types of things. They know that I have a very difficult time when it comes to cooking, cleaning and so on. They don’t take no for an answer.

My friend Jennifer Harris

As I was waking up,  I remember my friend Jennifer Harris, Rhonda Tommer and her daughter Sam sitting there holding my hand and praying for me. Even though I couldn’t talk or carry on conversations, they would talk to me and pray for me. I couldn’t even open my eyes for more than a couple of minutes. My friend Jennifer brought her mom and I remember Gerta standing at the foot of my bed, Jennifer holding my hands. Jessica and Beckiah were present too. Even though I couldn’t say or do anything, all of my friends and family carried on positive conversations with me.  I remember like it was yesterday


My daughter Jessica picks me up each week to cash my husband’s check and she takes me around town to do all the things I can’t. Since my muscles give out and I pass out a few times a day, she is always there. If she can’t take me to do what I need, others will.

I would like to share this though. When people assume that a person is in a coma and they can’t hear what anyone is saying. I want to say that I could hear what people were saying. I could hear the Dr’s and nurses that weren’t in my room. I could smell the perfume that someone was wearing. I don’t know who, but someone was wearing perfume. if you know of anyone who is in a coma, please speak kindly to them. Even if they can’t carry on a conversation, I could still hear them. One day I may write a book about what I could hear and smell.  There is a young lady named Claire Wineland. She died a year ago after she had a lung transplant since she had Cystic Fibrosis. This is a video that’s under 5 minutes. But, her experience is similar to my experiences.  Claires Coma experience.

While I was listening to the message that the pastor at the church was saying that there are some pastors and church leaders that play the niceness card, but they don’t actually care. They will go through the motions of caring because they have the mindset and say, ” it’s my job” and when they are finished going through the motions, they will go home when it’s time to go off the clock. Some church leaders and pastors know the right words and actions, but, they don’t really care.

I’ve gone to a number of churches in my life. My church had a pastor who showed up on time because it was his responsibility. I’ve mentioned this in a couple of blogs a few years ago. There was a huge split in my church because of his actions. He would pray for people and said the right words.

Dena Allen

One of my dear friends Dena Allen who’s with the Lord now would come home from church and felt defeated.  Dena was was hard of hearing, in her 80’s and knew more about the Bible than anyone I knew. I stopped going to church at that time because I couldn’t stomach what he was doing. I got to know him on a personal level and I feel like that was one of the main reasons I stopped going. It was at that point when I decided to check out Oasis Community Church.


Pastor Marc always listened to those at the church. Even if you weren’t a member, he was there and so were the people at church. When he said that we should be witnessing and going outside of the building and reach those who can’t go to church. Reach those who have left and have been hurt for one reason or another. He had Bible studies in his home. If I had a problem and needed to talk, he came to take and to pray with me and for me without asking.

My daughter Jessica 

When my daughter Jessica called me when I was in the hospital, she asked me if I could get a wedding together in 2 weeks. Most of that year, I was in the hospital At that time, I only went to that church for a couple of months, if that. I called the pastor and he got on the phone to a number of church members. I was blown away by the pastor.

He performed the wedding, we had a friend come and play a portable piano for the wedding march. My friend Dawn did all of the decorations and my friend Ramona made all of the food. I didn’t have to ask for anything and nobody would take money from me. I was and still, am beyond humble because of what they did. Three days after the wedding, I was back in the hospital for another 2 months.

There is also another small church here that did the same thing. All I had to do was mention that I was having a difficult time physically and that pastor came knocking at my door and he was there for me without asking.

oroWhile I was watching the service from the church in Tucson, I was reminded that even though a person may have the job of being a pastor or church leader, it doesn’t mean that the pastor or whoever is truly kind to others. When he said this, it made me sad because I’ve always felt that pastors are given a special gift by shepherding the congregation and are doing what is right. However, some pastors just think of it as a job, not a calling.

The pastor that was at my church almost destroyed it. Our church was affiliated with American Baptist Churchs. We had to get serious held from the ABC church district offices. It took many years for our church to heal. At that time and while I was listening to the sermon a week or so ago, I realized that not all pastors have what’s best for the people in the church their hearts.

While I was praying along with the pastor that I was watching, I was praying and God let me know that even though I love music and I would want to be a singer, but singing isn’t the gift that God gave me. It’s the same thing with pastors and it was with Pastor Wayne. He wanted to be a preacher and he went to seminary I think at Moody Bible College. He graduated, but he wasn’t called to be a pastor just because he wanted to. Instead of leading the sheep in the church, he became the wolf and destroyed lives and most of the people left the church and he didn’t care. He was doing what he wanted to do.

Lately, I haven’t felt like I’m not being Spiritually fed. I listen to a number of churches through streaming. The pastor was talking about how we are told to be Christlike.


John 6:27 “Do not work for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you, for on Him the Father, God, has set His seal.”

At the end of the sermon, the pastor asked a question about kindness. He instructed those who were listening. He asked everyone if we are kind. Of course, he couldn’t see the responses from everyone watching. Are we being kind to those around us, or do we think and speak negatively to, or about, them? Being kind is no small or easy thing. When we show kindness to those in our lives we yield positive fruits in our lives and to those around us.

I know this blog is a bit scattered. I hope you could keep up with it. I had a lot of things on my mind lately and that’s why I’m doing this post in 2 or 3 parts.




When You’re Waiting

aol_am799m13Our way of living and our world has become face-paced and people want instant gratification. Twenty years ago the internet would take anywhere from five minutes to thirty minutes. There was no WIFI connections. We had AOL as the main internet company that most people used because they would send free CD’s in the mail and they would offer 100 free hours of internet.  The speed was either 56K and it took a while to connect.  We thought we had everything at lightening speed and we could fill our time with learning about anything we want to learn. For those who have never heard what dial up sounds like, you can watch this 30 second video.

What we thought was exciting and educational, the internet ended up being a curse in many ways. Hours were wasting away because of all of the things we could fill our minds with. Everything became fast-paced and we had instant gratification. When we had to wait the extra 10 minutes waiting for a web-page to open, it become frustrating and at times painful. We had countless possibilities and opportunities.  While time was being spent spending hours and sometimes days in front of the computer screen, life was passing us by.


I would spend time chatting to people who I didn’t know in a chatroom in Angelhaven. I didn’t know the people on the other side of the computer screen. I spent more time speaking to strangers then I did with my family. Eventually the chatroom’s closed and Myspace took over. Myspace was all over the place. Pictures can be shared and conversations galore. And then more time was being spent away from our real lives. Hours and days passed quickly. Facebook ended up taking over the internet by storm and even more hours and days are spend away from real life.

Then there came a time when my daughters were graduating and they got married, and now I have grandkids. It seems as if the time being spent with loved ones are in front of the computer or smart phones instead of spending time together face to face. I don’t think all of these advances in technology is a good thing. These advances have taken away real relationships in our every day lives.

I’ve found that since I have a number of medical problems prevent me from regularly going to church. So, instead I watch church on youtube or on ROKU. I watch Oro Valley Church of the Nazarene in Tucson, AZ or Sutherland Springs First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, Texas. While I always feel blessed from their services, it isn’t good to not worship with other Christians in our day to day lives.

One of the sermons I was listening to at Oro Valleys youtube channel was about how we should be patient while were waiting for God to direct our paths. There have been a number of things that I have been praying to God for answers. I do feel like He has given me those answers.

While I was praying and searching the internet for Bible verses, I realized that even though our experiences may be different, we all face crossroads and we face seasons of waiting at some point in our lives. For about a year and a half, I’ve been on the high speed internet connection. our WIFI connections are now 500 Mbps and takes literally a couple of seconds to connect to the internet. But, this is one of those times it’s best that our lives should be on the 56K dial up connection. Instead of wanting everything in seconds, we should be taking it slow.


 If you’re struggling now, and you haven’t heard from God yet ( or maybe you haven’t accepted His answer), I’ve found a few Bible verses that have helped me find comfort and hope. God has a plan for all of us and when I’ve been feeling stuck, I hold onto these words and they bring me hope that brighter days are just ahead.


  • Isaiah 40:31“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
  • Lamentations 3:25“The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.”
  • Psalm 27:14“Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.”