What is Memorial Day Really?

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I hope this post doesn’t come off in a horrible way, but I don’t think that people gets it when it comes to Memorial Day. This is a pretty big pet peeve of mine and I am sure there are many out there that feels the same way. I try not to get upset with people when it comes to Memorial Day because I know many times people don’t realize the importance of Memorial Day. So, I just want to educate others on the true meaning of Memorial Day since obviously schools don’t talk much about it or people don’t pay attention.

There are many who get confused when it comes to Memorial Day  and Veterans Day; Memorial Day is a day of remembering the men and women who died while serving, while Veterans Day celebrates the service of all U.S. military veterans

Memorial Day events pay tribute to our military heroes.  Memorial Day commemorates U.S. Service Members who died while on active duty. First enacted to honor Union and Confederate soldiers following the American Civil War, it was extended after World War I to honor Americans who have died in all wars.

memorial-day7Memorial Day is NOT a day for picnics. It is NOT a happy time. It isn’t about getting a good deal when shopping for good deals. Many also believe that it is a time to remember those who have died. It isn’t about me remembering that my mom or any other loved one died. It is about those who served our country and gave their lives.

History: (src: wikipedia) The practice of decorating soldiers’ graves with flowers is an ancient custom. Soldiers’ graves were decorated in the U.S. before and during the American Civil War. Following President Abraham Lincoln’s assassination in April 1865, there were a variety of events of commemoration. The sheer number of soldiers of both sides who died in the Civil War (more than 600,000) meant that burial and memorialization took on new cultural significance. Under the leadership of women during the war, an increasingly formal practice of decorating graves had taken shape. In 1865, the federal government began creating national military cemeteries for the Union war dead. 

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Soldiers honor heroes with flags at Arlington Cemetery

“Source: Memorial Day 2017 : “We do not know one promise these men made, one pledge they gave, one word they spoke; but we do know they summed up and perfected, by one supreme act, the highest virtues of men and citizens. For love of country they accepted death, and thus resolved all doubts, and made immortal their patriotism and their virtue.”

– James A. Garfield
May 30, 1868 Arlington National Cemetery

I was at Kmart a few days ago and I was over hearing how these ladies were talking about going to the cemetery to put flowers on their loved ones grave. The loved one wasn’t for a serviceman who died giving their lives, it was for a friend that recently died. I chose not to say much since it is a touchy conversation, but I felt like I should have told them what Memorial Day is about.

memorial-day-is-not-about-bbq-beachesThen at Smiths, people are stocking up for the three-day weekend. They are planning on picnics, going camping and so on. They are so excited because it is the first three day weekend of the summer. They were all set to party it up.  One person even said that Memorial Day is a day to go fishing and drinking beer. It actually makes me ill to my stomach when I think about how little people respect those who died for our freedoms.

I’m sorry if I keep repeating some things in this blog, I just feel it is important to drive home the importance of Memorial Day. If I get a bit snarky or make a comment that may seem rude when a person wishes me a “Happy Memorial Day”, I apologize and at the same time I don’t. If that makes sense. I think there needs to be some education about what Memorial Day is really about. It isn’t happy day at all. It’s a day where I thank and remember those who have died while serving our country. They gave their all, the least I can do is remember what they did and be thankful.

Mothers

It was just the other day when I realized that this coming Sunday is Mothers Day. I guess since I haven’t been feeling good for sometime, I pretty much lost track of the date. I do want to share a bit about all of the mothers in my life.

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HEBREWS 10:36 (NKJV)

For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise: “For yet a little while, and He who is coming will come and will not tarry.

I have heard a number of people who will say that their wife does nothing but stay at home and take care of the kids. They have this mindset that being a mother isn’t difficult. I believe that being a mom is probably the hardest job there is. A mother needs to have wisdom, energy and a sense of humor. The most important thing and this is what got me through the moments where I was having a hard time being a mom is the knowledge that the Lord is with me always. He will guide me and give me the courage that I need.

God loves moms and He wants them to experience His great love. They have the choice to seek the Lord and trust Him for every need or not. He has unlimited resources and longs to hear the requests of those who have faith in Him for the smallest to largest concerns.

God created families and God has special plans for mothers. While not all mothers feel the same way I do. I don’t believe that all mothers have the ability to raise children. Because of the choices they have made in their lives, parenting isn’t meant to be.

“Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.” 1 John 3:18

God gave mothers the extraordinary ability to love unconditionally, prepare meals and juggle the things that needs to be done. Since the husbands are usually gone while the mom is home, they don’t notice that they have to manage their home, become a nurse and treat boo boos, Some moms have to work in order to have some sanity.

Every day is a new day. Mothers have a God-given purpose and the ability to do everything they need to do when they need it the most. I have heard mothers say that they can’t do this or that and I do think that we are the ones that are stopping ourselves. I think we actually sabotage ourselves when it comes to what we need to do.

It seems to me that Mothers Day is being distorted a bit. I wonder if people realize what Mothers Day is all about. We live in a society where we forget the importance of motherhood. It’s the one day when we take time out of busy life and shower them with love. I’m not fond of holidays like this, but that is just me.

A few years ago, my youngest grandson was at my house and he gave me a special gift. Of course he had no money so went outside for a bit. JJ and I were talking about Mothers Day and the whole gift thing. He started melting down over the fact that he had no money. He ended up picking a handful of yellow dandelions.I don’t know if did anything like that for her. He was so happy with the gift he gave me. I put them in a small vase on my counter.

I told JJ that he doesn’t need money to make his mammas day a good one. Handmade thing are much better than materialistic gifts. Spending time with her and make a pretty card and give it to her on Mothers Day.

Mothers are more than just the woman puttering around the house. She carried you in her womb for 9 months. She trained you and showed you what life is all about by guiding you and being there for you. Whenever you were having a difficult day. Mothers are there whenever you need to talk or a shoulder to cry on. In my family my daughters Jessica and Rebechia were also my best friends.

In my opinion Mothers Day and Fathers Day should be everyday. Everyday she should be shower prayers on that special person, without whom we would not be here today. Mothers should be recognized for her unconditional love.

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Mothers Poem

Unknown Author

M is for the Many things she gave me,
O means only that she’s growing Old.
T is for the Tears she shed to save me,
H is for her Heart of purest gold.
E is for her Eyes with love light shining,
R means Right and Right she’ll always be.

Put them all together, they spell MOTHER.
A word that means the world to me

On my next post tomorrow it will be about the special mothers in my life. I will also be talking about men who have had to step into the role as keeper of the house and the momma.

 

 

 

 

Poor Me Syndrome – Part One

This is going to be a blog post that will come in parts. I am going to talk about different types of people who have various forms of narcissism. This blog post will talk about 2 forms and then the next blog posting will come in a couple of days with the final 2 types of people with narcissism. All of the forms I will be talking about are actual people I know with them, but I will be leaving out names because I don’t want everyone to start messaging them and bothering them. So, I will try to protect their identity.

Person 1 “Look at Me” Narcissistic Person

Narcissistic-Personality-Disorder-3This is one of those topics that has been on my mind for some time. It goes by many different names. The names that has been on my mind lately is narcissistic. I have known a number of people with this syndrome or personality disorder. The unofficial terminology I would use though is the , “pity party express”, “woe is me”,  “look at me” and “poor me”. I do want to clarify that I’m not talking about those who truly suffer from depression or mental illnesses. I am talking about those who want to be the center of attention even if it means hurting those around them and at any cost.

I’m willing to bet that most everyone has met someone who is a narcissist.  I am known way to many of them. A good way to tell if you have a narcissist in your circle of family and friends would be to think back about someone who always seems to manage to bring just about any topic of conversation back to them themselves. For example, I have a family member who will call me up and we get in a conversation about how I’m doing. It’s just one of those small talk things. Usually she is the one starting up the conversation.

narcissism-definintionI’m not sure if many realizes this, but there is such a thing as sensitive narcissists. The type of narcissistic person I am thinking about for this blog post falls into the category of a sensitive narcissist. I would say that I know more narcissists that are sensitive, at least on the surface. This type of narcissist in my opinion is the most destructive. They are caring and compassionate. They are able to feel people’s pain naturally.  This type of narcissist are pros at manipulation and controlling others. They know how to get what they want.

The conversation goes like this for the most part. “Hi Sandie, how are you doing? I heard you weren’t feeling good. My answer is always that I am fine and I like to leave it like that. They wouldn’t understand what I am saying anyhow.  I let her know that there isn’t anything to really to complain about. She then would say, “That’s good”! After I comment with, “I’m fine.” Everything falls into place. Now is when she starts the,”Me” talk. Well, not about me, but she is talking about her. My part of the conversation is, “Uh Huh”.

Here is a bit of the conversation: 

  • Caller: Hi Sandie, how are you doing?

  • Me: I’m doing OK, how are you?

  • Caller: I’m OK, just tired of life

  • Me: Why is that? (I should not have asked)

  • Caller: I have been doing everything for everyone else! I have no time for myself. Nobody really cares about me! I have all of these things to do and I have no money to do anything! I have to cook for unnamed person. Then I have to go help this other person do this. Why is it I have to do everything? They take all of my energy, I have no me time!

  • Me: If you feel this way, why do you keep doing what you are doing? You can say no.

  • Caller: Yes, I know I can say no, but they need me. God has told me that I am to do all of these things. Nobody get’s it! It’s because of everything I do that people are happy. Nothing will get done without me. God told me that I’m suppose to do these things.  People love me since I bring them home cooked meals and do their laundry. All of these things I do for everyone will make it easier to get to heaven.

  • Me: I hate to tell you this, but you can’t buy your way into heaven.

  • Caller: I don’t want to talk about this. I am a better person because I do all of these things for people.  I do this and that (too much to list). Everyone loves me because I do things for them.

  • Me: You do everything because you want people to think you are the greatest person ever and because you need to feel worthwhile. None of these things will make you happy until you can accept the person who you are. If you aren’t helping because you want to, then it is in vain.

One day as I was talking to her, she was going on and on about everything she does for everyone else. She does these things for everyone else, but those good deeds (supposedly) will come with a price since they aren’t from the goodness of her heart. If she has helped someone out, I can tell you for sure that everyone will know exactly what she did, how much she spent and how terrible you are as a person since she had to ride in and save the day.  many many years ago, I decided that it is best to step away from these kinds of relationships family or not.

I think about the Toby Keith song, “I Want to Talk About Me”.

Person 2 – Emotional Kidnapping

ME_512_Over-Dramatize-640x199There is a friend I have been praying for that has mental illness and some other things wrong with her. Lately she has been so upset with those around her and her family that she is feeling like she is hated because nobody cares about her and nobody loves her. She has many problems and she wants to have it where things are about her  and only her. She is in denial when it comes to many things. What gets me is that while I know how loved she is, she can’t see it. If people don’t buy into her drama or manipulations, then she becomes irate with them to the point of making threats about not wanting to live anymore. She begins taking everyone down with her.

Cat1It shouldn’t be that way because someone wanting to die is very serious. I feel horrible for her friends and family members because they have had their lives turned upside down for many years all because of her neediness. Each time I see her or visit her, it is as if she is going further down the spiral staircase. I don’t know how much her family can take of this behavior. A couple of them have been in tears over how torn up their lives have become, just because of this one person. They have lost everything. They have nothing anymore and it is all because of the lies and manipulations. The more they lose, the more she blames them for it. When in reality, it isn’t that way at all.

She gets upset with them and makes threats that are very much on the level of a 2 yr old toddler. She kicks and screams and carries on when she doesn’t get her way. Once they give in and let her do what she wants, all of a sudden she is all lovey dovey again.

It’s been a while since I last seen her family and I feel bad for them. Each and every person is under her storm cloud. You can see the weariness in their eyes and body language. They have given up their lives just to be at her beck and call. It’s very unsettling. Her depression and threats of suicide are destroying her family. Everyday is a battle. Her family has lost everything because she is there and their lives rotate around her.

Suicide-hotline_1I take threats of suicide very serious. I have lost way to many people who I love to suicide. Mental illness is very real and if someone is saying they are committing suicide just to get their way or as a means of manipulating someone, I would like to say they are a coward. When I call them up because I am worried that they may do something and then they say they were just joking, that is nothing to joke about. I then tell her how heartless it is that she uses that as a way to get her way that when Brian’s family was told he committed suicide has to live with the loss of a loved one who really had severe depression forever. Then there is a young man named Frankie that committed suicide by shooting himself. I have no tolerance to people claiming they are going to kill themselves as a joke. . Click here for my blog post about suicide. I posted a blog with information about suicide prevention and the crisis line.

quicksand2aShe asked me day about what I thought about how her family is treating her like she pond scum. I told her that the best thing for her would be to pull up her big girl panties and start acting like an adult instead of a child. I explained to her that while she is wallowing in the pity party of hers, her family and friends are sinking deeper and deeper into the quicksand of her life. I also explained to her that her family are being held as emotional hostages and she is the key holder. There will come a day when those who are taking care of her and helping her will be gone.

b827c2ef996d67dc6f7f0799f243a21cThen there is a family member that I love dearly, but she really needs to learn the “NO” word. My sister Joyce has no idea on saying no. She is getting better at it though. I know she wants to help people out when they can’t help themselves. There will come a day when she has to stop having the mentality that she is the caretaker of the world. She doesn’t need to be Underdog and Wonder Woman. I don’t know if it is fully her fault. She has always given anything she has to those who has asked. Most of the time, NO is the best answer. People will keep taking if they know you are going to give to the point of you not having anything.

In the next day or two I will post the follow up to this one.

Suicide Prevention Hotline and Information

Suicide-hotline_1I have been noticing that there is many who are experiencing emotional and mental health crisis’s and are thinking about suicide. The information on this page is from the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Website:

Call the Suicide Hotline if you need to talk or are considering suicide. 1-800-273-8255

VeteransCrisisLineLogoThe National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.

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Brian Schritter

I have lost 2 young men that were like nephews to me. Brian Schritter committed suicide on Nov. 22, 2004. Brian was only 26 yrs old. His mom was and is still like a sister to me. My family grew up with hers in Indiana. I was only in the 2nd grade.

Brain left behind parents that loved him and he also was the middle child. He had an older brother Brandon and a younger sister Shawnte. He also left a sweet little girl.
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Frankie with his daughter Elyica April 2013

Then there is another young man named France Walsh (Frankie). I have known his parents since Frankie was only around 4 yrs old. He committed suicide on May 15, 2013. He left behind his parents, sister Lynette and his daughter. He was only 24 yrs old.

Crisis, stress, depression, and other issues affect people in different ways.

 

Suicide Prevention Warning Signs

  • Hopelessness, feeling like there’s no way out
  • Anxiety, agitation, sleeplessness, or mood swings
  • Feeling like there is no reason to live
  • Rage or anger
  • Engaging in risky activities without thinking
  • Increasing alcohol or drug abuse
  • Withdrawing from family and friends

The following signs require immediate attention:

  • Thinking about hurting or killing yourself
  • Looking for ways to kill yourself
  • Talking about death, dying, or suicide
  • Self-destructive behavior such as drug abuse, weapons, etc.

Remember…help is a phone call away.

In any crisis, if you are in immediate danger, call 911.

Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing

1-800-799-4889

If you cannot call 911, proceed to the nearest Hospital Emergency Room to ask for assistance. Regardless of the type of crisis, the Emergency staff will contact whichever branch of crisis intervention service is appropriate to get you the help you need.

  • Veterans– For veterans, crises can be heightened by their experiences during military service. If you’re a veteran or service member and in crisis, these resources can help.
  • Youth- Suicide is the second leading cause of death for young people between 10 to 24. Sometimes your struggle can be underestimated because of your age. But we hear you, and help is available.

How to Help

  • Take your loved one seriously: Some people feel that kids who say they are going to hurt or kill themselves are “just doing it for attention.” But if your child,  friend, or family member confides thoughts of suicide, believe them and get help.
  • Learn the warning signs: Friends sometimes let friends know if they are thinking about suicide or dying. Other times, changes in behavior may show that someone is struggling.
  • Don’t keep suicide a secret: If your friend is considering suicide, don’t promise to keep it a secret. Tell him or her you can help, but you need to involve other people, like a trusted adult. Neither of you have to face this alone.
  • Listen with empathy and provide support: A fight or breakup might not seem like a big deal, but for a young person it can feel immense. Sympathize and listen. Minimizing what your child or friend is going through can increase his or her sense of hopelessness.

 

Where is God?

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Over the last month, I have gotten into a number of conversations about my faith and most of the time, they ask me why do I still trust that God is there for me since I still have serious medical diagnosis’. It’s hard to put into words at times.  In my heart it is very simple. I know that God is always there for me, no matter what.

A couple of my friends have asked me why it is that they feel abandoned by God and why does He seem so far away when they need Him the most. There was a time in my life when I felt that God was silent.  I would have to say that during the moments are silence I felt even further from Him. The quieter He became, it was as if my trials and tribulations were at their worse.

1169431421I don’t know if there are many out there that have the mind-set that God could easily take care of the situation and tell us what to do. Wouldn’t life be so much easier if God would sweep in like Jeannie from “I Love Jeannie” and make everything good. Just a twitch of the nose and all is well in the world. But, that wouldn’t be a good thing to happen because we need to go through these trials and tribulations. I would have to say that they are more of a “trial of faith”.

I find it really sad that some of those who claim that God isn’t listening and they truly believe that God isn’t there for them anymore. One person actually feels that there is no God and that God has to prove it to them that He is real. I find that sad since they are sitting in church and listening to the sermon and yet, they feel that there is no God or that God has to prove Himself to them.

My health seems to come up a lot during these type of conversations. They reason why is because they don’t understand how I can still trust in the Lord and at the same time be thankful for what He has given me.

We are told in Romans 15:4-6;

 For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.

For some reasons mankind has this crazy idea that God needs to hurry up and do things our way. God is very patient with His people and I would think we need to be patient with Him. Throughout the Bible everything has been written down so that we can learn. Because of what was written we can find encouragement and hope.

I have had my friend Lisa and my sister Joyce on my heart lately, but for different reasons, well, somewhat.

785ab246e5d22dd4e86c36336dccf801My friend Lisa is moving away because she hates it in Utah. She has a tremendous amount of faith in God. I don’t worry about her walk with Christ. What I do worry about is how she has lost her hope and she has given up on happiness in a way. She has had a great deal of depression and isn’t happy. I don’t know if she is going to find happiness where she is moving, but I know she has to give it a try. I would like to tell Lisa that God loves her and I love her.

I totally get how life can and does produce some harsh storms. But, you can survive these storms by taking shelter under sturdy walls and structures. My verse I say all the time has helped me weather these storms.  As we go though these storms and trials, we may feel overwhelmed by the “stuff in our lives. There are times we may feel there is no place to run and hide.  But, let’s remember that God does offer us protection and emotional safety. “My verse is a promise from God and I rely on that promise daily.

Psalms 46:1- God is our refuge and strength, ever-present in times of trouble. 

Psalm 55:1  Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me!  For my soul trusts in You; And in the shadow of Your wings I will take my refuge, until these calamities have passed by.  (NKJV)

3223390I would also like to my sister Joyce to understand that she too can find hope and rest in Jesus Christ. We need to cover ourselves with the Armour of God each and every day of our lives.  I know Joyce that you are feeling like there is nothing for you in this life. I hear in your voice how you want to give up and quit. God knows what your hope and dreams are, all you have to do is be willing to listen and wait for Him to answer. I know it may seem like a long time, but He will speak if you allow Him to. You may not like the answer, but it is important to do if you ever want any form of happiness and hope.

 

 (Ephesians 6:10-20) I then quietly settle my thinking and focus on donning the helmet of salvation; the breastplate of righteousness and the belt of truth.  I ‘place’ the shoes of the gospel of peace on my feet and pick up the shield of faith and the sword of the spirit, take a deep breath and then begin my day again; this time with right thinking and with God’s purpose. Read More… 

 

I can’t even count how many times people have asked me about how can I not be angry at God for making me sick. At first I would get angry when they would ask me this question. The reason why I would get angry is that I have no anger at God about it. I don’t believe that God gives us bad things. I do believe that God has a way of using bad things in our lives to make us stronger and all things work out in the end.

What I have come to realize is that I have a lifetime of experiences and trials. Because of my trials, I have been able to comfort others who have and are going through the same heavy loads. My hardships have brought meaning to my life and I hope my words help and encourage others.

(2 Corinthians 1:4) “(God) comforts us in all our tribulation that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

Performing Math Calculations at ChalkboardI have always had this problem of making things harder than they should be. When I was in elementary school, my math teacher would have us come to the front to do a problem. We had to show the class how we came up with the answer. While they were already done, I was still working on the math problem. After a few minutes I was done. I had the right answer, but I made it harder than it should have been. I feel that life is that way. Sometimes the things in our life are harder than they should be. We stress over everything little thing. What we should be doing instead is laying it at the feet of Jesus and believe that He will guide us in the right direction.

I would like to say to my friend Lisa, Joyce and everyone else, myself included that things will work out. Everything will fall into place just like God has planned it out to be. Everything will work out according to Gods will, if you will just give it all to Him. I would say He is can handle it better than we can.

I think I am going to close this post down by offering this prayer and if others would like to pray it, you are more than welcome.

Heavenly Father, I am more than guilty of wanting to do things my way and in my time. While I work at handing everything over to you, my willpower has a way of getting in the way. Lord, Jesus, I pray that you help me be aware of your presence in my life. Thank you for watching over me and watching over those who are facing hardships and difficult trials. Lord, Jesus, help me turn everything over to you, which would include the good, the bad and the ugly.

Lord, Jesus, while my intentions are good, I find that I get caught up in the storms of life. Help me seek You above anything and anyone else. Lord, Jesus, I also pray for Lisa who is facing some pretty difficult days. My desire is for her to stay here, but that may not be the right thing for her. You know what is right and you already have her life’s book written out. My prayer for her is to seek you first, which I know she does. I pray that she listens to what you are putting on her heart.

I know Lord, Jesus that this is a bit of a long prayer, longer than I thought it would be. But, I pray for my sister Joyce. I get the sense that she is lost in the world. I am worried about he happiness. She is stubborn and has a tendency to just jump ship when she gets close to people. I have been worried about her mental health and I worry about where she is living. Lord, I pray she finds the joy, peace and her place in the world.

In Jesus’s Name I pray, Amen

 

This is a good devotional to read. It answers the question of “Where is God” 

High School Slave Day/Initiation Day

I was having a conversation with a friend that I went to high school with on Facebook and she asked me if I liked high school because she still carry’s some sad and horrible times.
I told her that even though I liked many of the people I went to school with, I didn’t enjoy it because of the clicks. I got along with just about any group. After what happened to my friend and a few others, I did rethink some of my friendships. I couldn’t understand how some of my more popular friends thought it was OK to target the less popular, which were also my friends. I sided obviously with the less popular and cut out the ones who were shallow and hateful. Anyhow,  she asked me about how I felt and how certain things still cause her anxiety.
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Willcox High School

She was talking about Freshman Slave Day and Initiation day. I went to Willcox High School in Willcox, AZ. The upper class-man would literally have a slave auction where they would sell the freshman students to the highest bidder. The slave would have to do everything the master would have them do. I was bought by a friend, but she wasn’t. I was glad my friend bought me and I never had to do anything. But, that was not what happened to most of the students.

One student was wearing a chain around his neck after the auction. There were a number of students that were walking around wearing diapers. A number of them had tears in their eyes. They felt they had to participate or they would be treated badly by those that were more popular.  The way I see it is that it is a popularity contest. I don’t know where the money went to. I’m sure it went to the school for something.

Since she didn’t get bought she would have to go through an initiation. So, the student body or who ever it was, would call out the names of those students who didn’t get bought and they would be shamed in front of the entire school during an assembly.

I have to say that after that assembly, something changed. It was like a switch went on. She was humiliated and had to dress like a dog and lap up water from a bowl and she was instructed to crawl on all 4s. To this day, I remember what happened. Just because she wasn’t popular, she was humiliated. I don’t understand how the teachers, principals and employees allowed that to happen.
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This is NOT my high school. I just wanted to demonstrate how horrible it would be to be initiated in front of this many fellow students. It was humiliating for many students that were made a laughing-stock in front of everyone.

When she was called up, lets say I was not very happy. I told her that those who called her name had no right to humiliate her by calling her in front of the entire class, teachers, principles and so on. I told her to just sit there and don’t listen or walk out. I would walk out with her. Those around me could hear what I was telling her. A couple were saying it isn’t a big deal, hmmmm… If they tried to do that to me, I can guarantee you that they would have all heard about it, right then and there.  I would have been one of those leading pickets and forming demonstrations. My friend told me that she would just do it since it would be worse for her if she didn’t.

Little did those who were laughing at those who were put on display know that my friend went home and seriously thought about suicide. She felt she was lesser than anyone else. She also seen counselors for many years because of this event. Some people may say that she shouldn’t have taken it so seriously and I would wonder what those people would think if it happened to them. Imagine having to go in front of 100’s of classmates and humiliated.
ropeI didn’t see this as a fun thing at all. What I seen was the tears and the fears of those who knew they would be called up during the assembly. I remember the tears from the boy who had to change his cloths so he can put on his gym shorts and made to climb a rope that went from the ceiling to the floor. Another rope was tethered to his shorts, so the higher he went, the lower his shorts would become. I don’t have to say what happened there and yet the student body was allowed to continue this disgraceful act.
When I was talking to my friend, she said what she had to deal with has haunted her. I told her that even though I didn’t get called to the gym floor to be initiated, I have always remembered that assembly also. Whenever I think about it, I get steamed. I have never seen such a display of anti-humanism first hand. Well, on the news, it is all over the place.
I think it’s a little insensitive to have something like that, because of the history and because a lot of wounds have not yet healed.” I get that some of these activities aren’t meant to be racist or mean-spirited, either way, there are some like me who react to it and I find it insensitive.
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My niece Christina and her husband Fei(?Spelling)… They have awesome kids.

I was talking to my niece about this and was having her go over my blog to make sure it sounded right. And she pointed out something that I never really think about because it is just part of my life. In my family, I would say that we are a melting pot. I have family members that are Hispanic, Indian, black, white and mixed. I have had seemingly close friends come up to me and they want to share a funny joke about one race or another. They automatically assume that because I am white, that they have a right to tell me jokes about other races. Let me say that they did NOT get the reaction they were looking for. And, let me say, they are no longer friends. I want to thank Christina was reading this and pointing out that I should share that we are a blended family. And I know I am a Christian and I want to say that this is one of those topics that makes me want to reach out and touch someone. So, I would hope that people don’t mess with my family. The color of someones skin has nothing to do with who they are as a person. Just Saying!!! I may get mad at those in my family, but I would hope nobody else would hurt a family member just because they married someone that is black or any other race.

I have wondered if schools still do the slave days and the initiation days and I was surprised that some schools still do this. Just google it or go to youtube. I was shocked to see how many still does this. For those who thinks this is a fun activity, remember that there are those who don’t. Being a slave is nothing to laugh at. I am all for discussing slavery, but not in a demeaning manner like this and like how schools are still doing.
32964532-modern-day-slavery-a-look-at-human-trafficking-0000-jpgI would like to touch on modern-day slaves.  Not many may be aware that it is happening all over the world. Human trafficking is the trade of humans, most commonly for the purpose of forced labor, sexual slavery, or commercial sexual exploitation for the trafficker or others.  There is a movie that recently came out that I absolutely love and I bought it on Amazon. It is called Priceless. One of the singers from King and Country is in the movie and the main character.  Human trafficking is a crime against the person because of the violation of the victim’s rights. Human trafficking is the trade in people, and does not necessarily involve the movement of the person from one place to another.
Here is an article from KSL which is a Utah based news station since I live in Utah.

Call the National Human Trafficking Resource Center

1-888-373-7888 or text BeFree (233733)

to report sex trafficking, forced labor, or to get help

According to the Center of Missing and Exploited Children there are currently about 300,000 under age children who are victims of human trafficking

OK, now I am going to get back to the purpose of this blog. I will be doing my next blog on human trafficking, so watch for it.

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This is real slaves and they really suffered – they don’t deserve to be mocked
I will provide some links that are based on what slaves really went through and how it is NOT a laughing matter. There is nothing funny about being a slave.
Movies: 
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Real Slaves- No Laughing Matter
Documentaries: 

Thinking About My Mom

My mom died almost 2 yrs ago. I know she is in a better place, but even knowing that, I still feel like she should be here.

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My mom- Winnie Elder

The last time I seen her was APRIL 23, 2015. Mom passed away on August 21st 2015. if you would like to read her obituary that I wrote, you can click here to read more about my mom.

Today while I was watching TV this commercial came on that I probably read way to much into it. But it was about a little girl who is guilt tripping her parents into hiring a maid to clean their house so her parents can give her 100 percent of their attention. She made sure to mention that she is cute also But, while I was watching it, I started thinking about my mom and how I was raised. If you want to read that blog and my thoughts, it is the post right before this one.

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Stock Photo- Child standing on a drawer to reach the sink. 

Like I said, I was thinking about my mom when this commercial came on. I was thinking about how the first time I did dishes on my own I was around 4 or 5. It’s so long ago, so, I am guessing at my age. I had to step on an old wooden crate so I could reach the faucet. My parents were gone and I wanted to show them that I can do dishes now. I was so proud of myself. You would have thought I just won a huge prize since I was so happy that I could do them and I did them alone. That was somewhat short-lived since I just proved to them that I could do dishes, so guess who got to do KP duty? Yeppers, it was me.

 

As I was remembering how I could do dishes and soon after I was doing other chores in the house and in the yard. I’m pretty sure I grumbled a lot since I hated doing house work I was more athletic and that is what I chose to do and didn’t get to unless I finished my chores. There were 5 kids in our family and I was stuck in the middle. We only had one boy in the family. We all thought he could and did get away with anything and everything. Here is a list of chores I did when I was under the age of 10.

  1. do dishes
  2. hang clothes on the close line since we had no dryer
  3. help make dinner if she needed help
  4. fold clothes
  5. clean the bathroom
  6. vacuum and dust usually on Saturdays. My mom would make us vacuum in this weird pattern. i guess she wanted to make sure we did it right.
  7. feed and water the dogs
  8. rake the yard and pull weeds if needed
  9. and more…
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I lived in this house when I was a teenager. If you look at the window that has the shorter green shrub, that was my bedroom. I escaped out of that window many times, lol. 

My favorite chore was helping my mom plant flowers. She loved roses. Her favorite color is the yellow ones. She would come home from the nursery in Willcox AZ. with flats of flowers. While I hated digging in the dirt and pulling weeds, I loved it when I got to help with the flowers. I would fake sleeping when it came to the weeds and digging. My sister Joyce also helped and loved it. Those were our favorite memories when it comes to actually spending time with mom. My husband and I along with my sister went past our old house in Willcox and it was a sad moment. My mom had one of the most beautiful yards, now it is far from pretty. Before we moved into this house/trailer, it looked like this.

 
I can’t help but smile when I see yellow roses. I have one that just bloomed the other day. I was talking to my mom and 12916726_10206172453127124_5914870141287867297_oasked God to send me a message about if my mom is doing good and to tell her hi and that I love her. Usually when I ask for a sign, I ask for a cool breeze that would be strong. He took me literally. It was just the other day when I asked. I knew a storm was coming, so I was pretty sure it would be windy. When I started my conversation the wind was calm as can be. Then all of a sudden the wind came roaring in like a lion. The temperature drastically dropped. I grabbed my camera to take a video of the storm. You can hear the thunder and the wind was enough to knock me over.

As I was videoing the storm, I turned to my left and I seen the one and only yellow rose bloom. It still wasn’t opened when I got home around 3 and at that moment it started to open. It was such a surreal moment. You can see the yellow rose waving hi in the wind. If you want to see the video for the wind, here is the video with the sole yellow rose. I would also like to say that about 5 minutes after I took this video, the wind stopped where I live at. It was still wrecking havoc in and around our area, but it stopped blowing on the side of town I live on.

11188407_10204158546460716_1046143011769713906_nThe last time I seen my mom, we were planting purple and white daisy’s that I bought for her. Even though she went home to the Lord shortly after, she still wanted to plant them. I was a bit leary on where she planted them since I am sure there were tons of sliders there. She just wipes them away and I run away, lol. She took my hand and we walked over to where her prized roses are. When I was talking to her hospice social worker, he was saying how he could see such a difference in her level of joy when she strolls out by where the roses are.

I do miss my mom and wish she was answering her phone. Mom and I have always had a different kind of relationship. There were times when I wouldn’t call for years because of all of the stuff going on. But, the last visit and the many conversations we had before she passed are moments I will cherish forever.

Last video of my mom- I’m grateful I have this so I can remember her voice.

Before she passed, I was blessed by having conversations with her about knowing God and I was also able to talk to her about some of the things that bothered me when I was still at home and things in recent years.

Ephesians 1:7-10 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

It’s hard having conversations that were filled with pain that has been hidden in my heart for such a long time. I wanted to let her know that I have forgiven her for things that went on in our home. I won’t go into detail on here. But, there was a great deal that needed to be discussed and it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

one 14 6 baptism in the HSThe most important conversations we had been about being saved and about baptism. After our 90 minute conversation I felt at ease. She did end up getting baptized and my heart was happy. Mom was a new person after she got baptized.

My sister Joyce was down at my mom and dads. Joyce would hold the phone up to my moms ears and we would talk, well I would talk. Mom was in a coma for a few days before her graduation ceremony. She was graduating from this life and moving on to be with Jesus. I would turn on songs like, “Amazing Grace“, When the Roll is Called Up Yonder, some Charlie Pride and so on. Just a few minutes before she died I told her that she is going on. I told her about how beautiful it will be. If she thought he roses were awesome here, they are much more beautiful there. I also told her that Grandma and Grandpa will be there as well. I told her that I love her so very much and when I get there, she is going to have to show me around and show me her roses.

friedchilckenI want to thank you mom for teaching me life skills and how to plant roses. Thank you for teaching us how to make fried chicken.

I’m going to close this post by saying that if you have been hurt by someone, don’t take forever to talk to them. I lost a number of years because of stupid petty stuff with my parents. Some things were my fault and others not. Either way, holding grudges and not talking doesn’t accomplish anything. I have been there/done that. It’s not worth it. Talk about whatever it is and then enjoy life.

Colossians 3:13

13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.