From Ashes We Rise

This is a true story of a man and his dogs and cat. I have mentioned Eric Dodge in previous posts. I have shared a bit about his sweet Anna and his cat Bart. I want to share this story from Erics own mouth. It is a story of unconditional love, loss and renewal .  Have some Kleenexes close by because you will need them. But, this story is true and inspirational. I will share the first paragraph and then click on Read Next for the rest.


Eric Dodge carrying Anna’s Ashes

I used to think cremation was weird. I couldn’t fathom burning a loved one to ashes. It was so final, so blunt, the end, game over. I was lucky not to have been present to see my furbaby die. I was in the middle of a Christmas concert as my Anna took her final breaths at that emergency room on a cold December night. A vehicle in a complete freak accident hit her in front of my house. The animal hospital gave me some options and cremation was one of them. I decided to give this a try. This night my world stopped turning. I had recently turned 40. My relationships were struggling, my health was struggling, I was about to lose a long time career that provided me with a comfortable living, and all of these things came crashing down on me at the same time. I was handed that little wooden box with all that was left of my beloved Labrador Anna and I had a complete and utter meltdown. How do you fit eleven years of companionship full of love, adventures, and life, into a small wooden box with a paw print on it? It was hard to believe this was my baby? My Anna was in a box and was never coming home. Read More…

God’s People Are Hungry For The Truth

Bernie and Alice Larson- Retired Pastor from New Covenant Christian Church

I have been thinking about how there are many Christians who want to hear the feel good sermons and when it is a sermon on the hard stuff they don’t want to hear. Thankfully Pastor Ray Schroeder at my church which is St. George Community Church preaches the whole Gospel of Christ aka The Bible Only messages. I seen this post on a friends status that is a retired pastor from New Covenant Community Church in St. George.  He  is now living in Arkansas and Pastor Bernie said what I was thinking and I wanted to share it with you all.

Re-post from Bernie Larson 

Do Christians really want milk? Some do , but most do not. Most want to hear the truth and nothing but the whole truth.Too many preachers are just tickling itching ears. Watering down the Gospel and giving only what sounds good, bypassing the Cross and neither calling for sacrifice or service.
Most people want to hear the truth without compromise. Most want their pastors to address cultural issues. Plenty of God’s people are sick and tired of the status quo. Shepherds of the flocks need to equip and sometimes that means to warn- be watchmen on the wall. People are waiting for faithful leaders to take a stand.
According to recent surveys: When Pastors are asked about key issues of the day- 90% say: ” The Bible speaks to the issues of the day,but when asked how many are teaching on those issues- only 10% are. Most people in congregations want pastors to address the major issues of the day.
Bottom line is: God’s people are hungry for all the truth of God’s Word. They are hungry for holiness. They are eager to apply to the gospel to every area of life.It is time to preach the truth in love! Bernie

Some Songs Are More Than a Song

There are some songs that mean more to me than others. There are a lot of songs I love. The song ‘Thank You by Ray Boltz” has a very special meaning to me.


There was a post that a friend that would I have been introduced to his music and lives locally. He sings country music, but he also has started singing song that are closer to my heart and his name is Eric Dodge. I spoke of him a few times and I share his info on a tab on my blog. I would love to see him put out music of more of the Christian genre. If he did, that DVD would be in my collection for sure and I would get it on ReverbNation.. This is the song that Eric has sung by Rich Mullins. It’s called  “Hold Me Jesus” I would love to play his version at my church during praise and offering. This is from his Facebook page..

Ray Boltze sings my all time favorite song. I would love to see Eric Dodge sing his songs. My favorite song is Rays is ” Thank You” and here is the video…

The song  Thank You is one of those songs that speaks to my heart the most. All of the words in that song speaks about how all the people in my life has made a difference. I bawl like a baby. I grew up where my parents didn’t allow us to speak about God and I had to sneak out of the house to go to church. But, the part of the song with the missionary is when I realized I wanted to make a difference in other peoples lives.

Every part of this song means something very personal to me. I have had many people who are Christian who said I shouldn’t listen or buy his music because he made an announcement that he is gay. Instead of  being there for him, they stopped listening to his music. After his announcement he never made music again. I prefer to listen to the song and all the words to speak to my heart. God uses everyone for His purpose. It isn’t my responsibility to judge him or anyone else.

Thank You Lyrics; 

I dreamed I went to Heaven, you were there with me.
We walked upon the streets of gold beside the Crystal Sea.
We heard the angels singing, then someone called your name.
You turned and saw this young man, and he was smiling as he came.
He said, “Friend you may not know me now,” and then he said, “But wait –
You used to teach my Sunday School, when I was only eight.
And every week you would say a prayer before the class would start.
And one day when you said that prayer,
I asked Jesus in my heart.”

Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am so glad you gave.
Then another man stood before you, he said “Remember the time,
A missionary came to your church, His pictures made you cry.
You didn’t have much money but you gave it anyway.
Jesus took that gift you gave
And that’s why I’m in Heaven today”

Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am so glad you gave.
One by one they came, far as your eyes could see.
Each life somehow touched by your generosity.
Little things that you had done, sacrifices that you made,
They were unnoticed on this earth
In Heaven now proclaimed.

Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am so glad you gave.
And I know up in Heaven you’re not supposed to cry
But I am almost sure there were tears in your eyes
As Jesus took your hand and you stood before the Lord
He said “My child look around you,
Great is your reward.”

Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am so glad you gave,
I am so glad you gave.

It isn’t easy to put into words what someone has done for you. They may never know they made such an impact. I have made it a point to tell some people from my childhood what they have meant to me and my walk with Christ. Can you ever thank someone enough?

thank you forgiving to the LordI can’t count how many people have been significant in my life and I am forever thankful for the sacrifices they have made.  When I consider the beautiful things people have given so I could lean more about Christ, it blows me away big time. They may never know that way they have said or done has changed my life in the most positive way. Their actions are the most valuable thing and instilled in me how important my walk with Christ is and His love for me.

Marjorie Divan and JJ (4 months old) – Mom went to be home with the Lord on Monday, August 4, 2008.

I also think of my mother in law Marjorie. She passed away on August 4th, 2008. But, she had this awesome way of praying for everyone that needed it. She even prayed for herself to like my sister in law more. Which my sister in law passed away two weeks before she did. She wasn’t the kind of person who would say that she would pray for someone and not do it. During church one day I noticed that she was writing names down in her bulletin during the praise and prayer time. She would pray for each and every person who needed it. Even if someone didn’t ask, she prayed anyhow. I’m sure that there are many special prayers that she never shared with me. She was and is a perfect example when it comes to sharing her faith and doing her best.

I have often wondered how many that I didn’t know prayed for what was going on in my life. I know those in my church do. But from the time I was a child there had to have been many praying for me and our family. Because of what countless numbers of people have been there, I didn’t venture far from God and I was led down the narrow path.


Everyone moment we go through is a teaching moment. Since it was difficult for me to get to church each week, God stepped in by putting people there to help me get there. Since I wasn’t suppose to be at church, it took believers and those who could drive to get me there.   I have been humbled by the greatest gift though giving to the Lord.

There are those who thinks they have to go to another country and serve missions. I thought that myself and had planned on doing just that. But, God had other plans. As I got older, I realized that we all can serve missions where we live. Each and every day we have the opportunity to witness to others who needs to know Christ. If you don’t feel comfortable with speaking to strangers, you can live by example.There are many at my church can’t go out witnessing door to door, but they find ways to be there for others.

I want to end this by saying that I am forever grateful for the sacrifices on my behalf. They have been a blessing in my life. It’s OK to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and teachable before the Lord.One of the things I wish more people would do at my church which is a small non denominational church (St. George Community Church) would be to share their personal testimonies. They may never know how their testimony could speak to someones heart.


Raggamufin/Rich Mullins


If you have never watched the movie Raggamuffins, you should. The movie is about the life of Rich Mullins. I always thought I knew more about him, but I only knew his songs, not anything about him.


Rich Mullins greatest legacy is his music. His first song that was published or best known is “Awesome God“.  I could be wrong about it being his first song. So many of his songs spoke to my heart and still does. I have been thinking about the movie”Ragamuffins lately because I follow a country singer on Facebook and he is one of the only country singers I listen to. I mainly listen to Contemporary Christian music. I have asked him if he would come to my house and sing for my Christmas party. I’m hoping he will.

Eric Dodge did one of Rich Mullins songs. My readers should go to his youtube channel and listen to it. Here is the link to his page.  The song is called “Hold Me Jesus”.

One of the things that Eric mentioned in his video and it is so true and why I’m touched by the songs in the show of Ragamuffins is how we are all broken. It was hard for Rich Mullins and there were times in the movie that seemed as if the message was directed at me.

There are a number of things in the movie that spoke to me. Rich Mullins talked about many things but he also had hardships and his own demons.  I feel as if we all have our own demons and our struggles. Eric Dodge and the show about Rich Mullins (Ragamuffins) has helped remind me that there comes a time when we have to do something.

Eric Dodge

Eric has motivated me to not sweat the small things and to live life.  I have had many obstacles in my life. I think I worry about things that aren’t important. I need to focus on the important things and look around me more. Eric has been on this quest to minimize and to look around, live life  and do what is important.  I think I need to do that more and not fill my time with stupid things.

One of the clips in the video that spoke to me the most is this, “Listening to Brennan Manning” and I just bawled.  Click here to listen to the clip, and really listen to the words.

The first time the Rich Mullins heard about Brennan Manning was on tape as he drove through the edge of the Flint Hills in Kansas, his eyes filled with tears. He steered the truck to the side of the road. It was at that point that I broke down.

After this movie, I made changes. After a while, I found that I went back to my ways. I think that is why Eric Dodge’s way of doing things has touched my heart. He has had a rough year and I have gone to a couple of his concerts, but, he has spoken about the show and he is doing things and changing his life, which is awesome. I need to be more proactive.

On the front page of my blog, I will link his blog and Facebook page. Click on the tab at the top I think it is where is says Eric Dodge.

Rich Mullins was 41 when he died in a car accident. There were many true facts about Rich Mullins life.

  1. In 1996 he took a break from touring and he went to the Navajo Indian Nation of around a year  and they were very close to his heart. I think they all helped him more than he helped them.
  2. Rich Mullins wasn’t interested in money. He had no idea how much money he made. He only used the money he needed to live on. Most of his money was donated to the Navajo Nation and those in need.
  3. He was also known for doing concerts with no shoes on. He didn’t care what others thought. He wanted to please God and do what he needed to do.
  4. I loved his music, but in his real life, he had struggles like we all have. I didn’t have the kind he had, but we all have our things we go through. He got through everything because of his faith in Christ.

If you want to read about the man who did the tape that Rich Mullins was listening to on  Raggamuffin (Brennan Manning). Here is a short biography of Brennan Manning

If you want to read his personal page which is being updated now… Click Here for Erics Page… 


God Has Different Plans :)


I haven’t been on my blog for a couple of months due to being in the hospital and I’m having some pretty major medical things going on. So, I just wanted to do a small update.

My last blog I shared about my experience with Gillian Barre Syndrome. I have the CIDP form of it. I was in the hospital for about a month because I had an infection in my blood. It is called Sepsis and I had Bacteriaemia. I don’t remember anything that happened for most of my time in ICU and the hospital. I only remember the last few days in the hospital and I think about 3 weeks in the car/rehab center.


But, what I do know is that I have had some wonderful friends and family members that encased me in prayer and support. My pastor, family and friends came to visit me everyday.

KLoveWhile I don’t remember anything that happened and what led up to my hospital stay, I do know from the nurses and care givers that my family and friends made sure that I had my radio playing at all times. I listen to K Love which that is a Christian radio station. My husband and daughters made sure that they had the radio going at all times.

jesus-doctor-healingFrom what my pastor said he was saying that they almost let me go home to the Lord. I don’t know if that’s the exact words. But, they turned the radio off and my family was where they didn’t think I would make it. While the Dr’s were working on me and people were praying, they noticed that my radio wasn’t on. They turned it on and it must have done something. It was like it was at that moment that something happened. That something isn’t a thing, I have heard from some of the people who when the music was playing, I was alive again.

I want to thank all of those who lifted me up in your prayers. I would like to thank my family and friends who didn’t give up. I don’t know who was all there to pray for me, but from my understanding, there was a lot of people. One of my friends had her bishops come and pray for me. Then a friend from church gave me a bracelet. It simply says “Jesus is Enough, Mark 16:15”. Thank you Rhonda. When I was having a hard day and not knowing what was happening, I could read that and what an awesome reminder.


Mark 16:15- He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. 16 Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. 17 And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; 18 they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.”

Thank you Pastor Ray for being there for me and all of the prayers. My daughters Jessica and Beckiah came to visit me and they made sure things were getting done. On one of the nights where I was having an emergency and I needed to have intervention because of blood clots, my grand-daughter Jocelyn who is just 2 left her little unicorn in my room. I found so much comfort in that. Then my daughter Beckiah was a life saver. I was so hungry and they needed to do tests. Beckiah made sure to be there while they did swallow tests and she made sure I had food. There is a huge list of people who came to visit and pray.

God uses many things to restore our faith, hope and life.  I have had some people say that it was the Dr’s that saved me. I think they were an important part, but God is the one to be thanked and my life being saved is an act of God. God provided the help that was needed to save my life and for anyone’s life. Because of the prayers by others while having the faith, God is the one in control of all things.

If it wasn’t for God putting everything in order, I wouldn’t be here. My family and friends knows that my faith in God is the most important thing in my life.

I do want to share a major blessing. My sisters Bren and Joyce and my dad came to visit me. I never thought I would see my dad up here since it is a long trip. God made it all possible. For me, that was such a big blessing.

We shouldn’t ever put limits on God. God uses Dr’s, medications, family and friends when we need them the most. I still have a long road ahead of me, but I know that God has bigger and better plans.

Part 2 from GBS Awareness

Going Home- Part 2

This is part two of my Guillian Barre Awareness Blog Post from 2 days ago. The most important part will be part 3  and that is how God can get us through anything if we only have faith and beleive.  This is the paragraph from the last one.

In order to go home, my Dr’s told me that there had to be someone with me at all times since I wasn’t out of the woods. I also had to have my house approved since there were so many things that could happen in a moments notice. Someone also had to be trained to help with going to the bathroom, bathing, helping me roll over in bed. When I came out of the hospital I was a size 0 and I would guess about 85 pounds. So, Chuck had to make sure everything was ready for me to come home.  He had to also make sure that I had the means to get medical treatment since I was a minor.

So, Chuck arranged for me to be dropped off at his friend’s house, which I did know them, but not well. He had to be on base at 4:00 Am every morning, unless he was off. So, we left the house around 3:15 and he had to carry me the whole time. He carried me into the truck every morning. Lana gave him a key to her house in case she was asleep. She arranged for a bed to be in her living room. He brought me in and made sure I was in bed, brought lunch over if I got hungry.

Chuck would check in throughout the day to see how I was. Lana had to have some training in order to help me. She would help me sit up since I was getting sores from laying down all the time. I couldn’t feed myself. So, she would feed me. Oh, and by the way, I was also pregnant with my daughter Jessica. She had to help me go to the bathroom and brush my teeth. When I wasn’t at her house, Chuck did everything for me. When I say everything, I mean everything.

Like I mentioned before, Chuck was in the Army. I had to have medical since I was still needing major medical things. While Chuck was on High Alert , which means he can’t go anywhere that is over 15 miles. When he got the call on his day off, he was stressed. I asked him why and it was because of me and how since I was still in a battle for my life, we needed to find a way to get medical treatment. We were planning on getting married in December. Instead, we pushed it up. Because of him being on High Alert, which I think it was during tole cold war, we decided that we would get married. It was the best way to get me medical coverage. So, that’s what we did.

Chuck and I already had our license and we didn’t have anything to do. So, he lifted me up and put me in the truck and we decided to get married. We made it to Belton Texas with 30 minutes to spare. Chuck had to carry me into the court-house and he even held my hand to help me sign. My parents about two weeks ago signed the permission slip since I was 17. He did find an office chair with wheels to help me. When we went before the judge he asked me if I was positive that I wanted to get married. I wonder if he thought Chuck was trying to force me since he had to help me hold the pencil.

I’m sorry this is going on for so long. But it’s important. Chuck and did get married on the day before Halloween. Chuck always says that we got married then so I could ride my broom. Chuck has also said he married me since he felt sorry for me lol. Which isn’t true, lol. But, my mom did tell me when we got married she would send us 200.00. We called her when we got home. We needed the money because my stuff is very expensive. Little did we know that Scott and White contacted the Shriners about my case and they covered every penny of my care since I was a minor. That was a major relief and Chuck was prepared and has been paying for everything for me even though we weren’t married.

Chuck and I went to the base. We borrowed a wheel chair to get around. We didn’t even have the money for that. We showed them our ID and the marriage certificate. The timing was great since now I had full medical coverage with the military. I was readmitted into Darnell Hospital at Fort Hood. I wasn’t on life support, but I was still paralyzed and I was in the hospital for 3 months. Over the course of a year, I spent 90 percent of the time there.

Chucks CO arranged for Chuck to go on Special Duty so then he would be close to home in case I needed him. When I was in the hospital he made sure to visit before he went home. I honestly don’t think that there would be many people who would have stuck around. We have been married 38 times. He has stuck around for all of the things I have gone through. I have had Guillian Barre Syndrome 3 times which is why they have changed it to CIPD which is the chronic form of Guillian Barre Syndrome. About 12 years ago or longer I was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis. There has been a number of other medical crisis that many would have walked away from.

I wanted to keep this post short and I will just touch on this since I will cover more of this in a separate blog post. GBS is an auto-immune disease and those who have had it or have compromised immune system. For myself the second and third time I had it was because I was around someone who had either a cold or the flu. While the cold, flu or other virus doesn’t affect some other than being sick for a short time. For those who have a compromised immune system it could land them in the hospital or they can die.

I think the second time I was paralyzed in the late 90’s which would be 98 or 99 it was from someone who came to my house with strep throat. I spent most of that year in the hospital where I live. I missed almost an entire year of being a part of my daughter’s life. When they seen me, it was from them coming home from school and they had to see me in the hospital or the rehab center. During lunch breaks they would walk over to the hospital and have lunch with me. I shared this because something as simple as strep throat almost costed me my life. If you are sick and you know someone with a compromised immune system, please stay away. If you are sick, stay home. If you must go out, wash your hands.

Links to Informational Websites for Guillian Barre Syndrome and CIPD

Guillian Barre Awareness – Part One


This month is Guillian Barre Awareness Month. Once a year I will share my experience with others. This is a long post, but an important one. I have had many many people that knows me that have asked what it is that I have. That’s not an easy answer. I will do this over a couple of posts.  I have links below of websites that can give you information about Guillian Barre Syndrome. The videos below will tell you what both Guillian Barre Syndrome(GBS) and what CIPD is. They are short and easy to understand.

I have the Chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy (CIDP) is an acquired immune-mediated inflammatory disorder of the peripheral nervous system. The disorder is sometimes called chronic relapsing polyneuropathy (CRP) or chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyradiculoneuropathy (because it involves the nerve roots).CIDP is closely related to Guillain–Barré syndrome and it is considered the chronic counterpart of that acute disease.Its symptoms are also similar to progressive inflammatory neuropathy. An asymmetrical variant of CIDP is known as Lewis-Sumner Syndrome (This discription which is a simpular way of describing it is from Wikipedia)

I don’t have pictures or videos of how it was for me when I first heard the words from the Dr that I had Guillian Barre Syndrome. I will provide links at the bottom of this post so you can understand what it is and I will post a youtube video of Crystal Browns experience is very close to my experience.. I was admitted into the hospital and was put on a ventilator.

I was 17 years old when I came down with Guillian Barre Syndrome. The way my Dr told me what it is by saying that the American name for it is French Polio. He also told me that once I’m able to walk again and it was a year for that to happen, but when I regained my ability to walk and to do other things like smile, lift my arms, talk, open and close my eyes, blink, frown and all of those things that I would be immune from it ever happening again. I would like to pay a visit to that Dr which, I’m sure he is dead by now, but I would like to share that it does come back and it did.

When I first noticed that there was something wrong with me, I was living in Texas. My back then boyfriend and my husband now noticed that I was getting overly tired when doing simple things. Things like walking up three stairs, riding a bike, cleaning the house or feeding dogs. About 3 week prior to this, I was given the flu shot. I was given that shot before I went to Texas. I ran away from home for many reasons. Just the day before I jumped out the window, I received the shot.

I got Guillian Barre Syndrom (GBS) and later regiagnosed with CIPD. The difference between the two is that with GBS it is a one time thing. Once you get better or the best you can be, it is done. It all varies case by case  on how much someone will regain thier sstrength. Some have life long residuals and that’s what I thought I had. But, I have the CIPD variant since I have had it three times and I have lifelong residuals.


As I was walking into town, which was just a mile and that was nothing for me. I was a cross-country runner and ran a minimum 10 miles a day. I was also a track and field runner and won many awards and ribbons. I was the anchor on our track and field team since I was the fastest runner on the team. I basically share this with you because walking a mile to town was nothing to me.

I got into town OK, but once I left the little store, I noticed my legs were very heavy. I had to sit on the curb to rest. I always went to the store in Nolanville.TX and then I would walk across the street to head back to the house. I didn’t think I was going to be able to make it across without someone hitting me. My legs felt like lead. I did make it back to the house, but I had to craw up the steps. There was no way to call Chuck to have him get me. There was no cell phones or anything. But, God gave me enough strength to get home.

My husband and I were living with his friends Craig and Mary Carlock. When I walked through the door she wanted to help clean the house and do the dishes. I always did the house and most of the cooking. Since I had no job and they let me live there, I did all that stuff. Mary started yelling at me when I told her I had to lay down and that I was very tired. She called me lazy and that I was lying to her about me being tired. I did do the dishes, but dropped one of them and she was furious. I had no choice, but I did have to lay down.

Chuck and I went out a few days later and we went to see Star Wars in Harker Heights. I was tired, but not as much as when I walked home. When the show ended, I couldn’t get up on my own. Chuck asked me what was wrong. I was trying to hide how bad things were. Since Chuck and I only knew each other for 3 months, I didn’t want to be a burden. I knew he was different and in my mind I thought for sure that he wouldn’t want to deal with something serious. He was only 19 and I honestly thought he would bail.  I just told him that I was tired and he helped me up out of the seat and we were the last to leave. I told him that I think something is really wrong.

I told Chuck what happened and he was so upset with them. We decided that it was time to get our own place. At this time we weren’t married. We did find a little trailer that was about 12 feet wide and 32 feet long. Which was a blessing because after I was diagnosed with GBS, the trailer was the perfect way to help me since the walls were closer. That little trailer was the perfect size for me to regain my independance. Which is for sure a “God thing.”

After we moved into this little trailer, I was becoming more and more tired. When my husband, well boyfriend then came home I was laying on the floor in tears. I was there for hours since I couldn’t get up. Chuck and I were engaged and we were planning on getting married on December 14th, 1980. We knew things were serious and things became life and death. Chuck could have left me there since we weren’t married.  God had a plan.

A few days after this happened, I got to the front door in order to get someones attention that I needed help. We did have a landline phone, but back then there were no cell phones. The trailer we rented for $50.00 a month was a long ways from neighbors. I got to the front steps and sat down and yelled for help. Nobody could hear my cries. I didn’t know any of our neighbors since we just moved in. I was stuck there till Chuck came home. He was stationed at Fort Hood, Texas.

When he got home, he seen me there and rushed over to where I was at. I told him what happened. He lifted me up and brought me into the house. He took me to Scott and White Hospital in Texas. I was only 17 at the time and I was a runaway. My parents knew where I was. The Dr’s told me that they needed my parents permission to treat me. I didn’t have any insurance either. When they contacted my parents, they told them that they wouldn’t pay for anything.

The Dr’s still seen me and they did the whole asking about do you drugs and they thought that I was on drugs and that was why I was so weak. The nurse told me that they also thought it was me faking the weakness and they sent me away. Chuck and I came home and I was in tears. Chuck was so worried that he got a hold of his CO and they changed his schedule. I went to the ER at a number of local hospitals and all said the same thing. Things changed at a clinic that I went to in Harker Heights.


The Dr admitted me into the hospital because he knew that there was something serious and many have died of it. By the time I seen this Dr I was pretty much paralyzed up to my chest. I had no reflexes, my breathing was labored. I couldn’t lift my arms, lift my legs or mostly everything else. If it wasn’t for Chuck, I would have died. He literally had to lift me up and help me go to the bathroom, shower, dress and so on.

The next morning at the hospital, I had ambulance people and nurses rushing into my room. They called Chuck and told him that they are transporting me to Scott and White Hospital since they weren’t equipped for something like this. I needed special care and someone experienced. I told them that Scott and White turned me down 2 other times and told me they couldn’t help me since it had to be because of me using drugs. I didn’t smoke cigarettes, weed or drink. I have always carried a bit of anger towards that Dr because I could have died because he thought I was a druggie.

Chuck asked them if he could take me up there. He didn’t say how worried he was, but I knew he was. They said there was no time to waste and that they didn’t even know if I would make it. Within 5 minutes, I was loaded up into the ambulance and taken to Scott and White Hospital. I was terrified to say the least. I had this sinking feeling that Chuck would think that he didn’t sign up for this.


That evening after I was admitted Chuck went to the hospital  to see me and get answers from the Dr. Since we weren’t married and I was a minor, they wouldn’t release information to him.  Instead they reached my parents who were very bitter and tried to have my husband arrested because of me being a minor. The treatment for Guillian Barre Syndrome is Plasmapheresis and IVIG.  They Dr’s needed permission to use the treatments. My parents told them no because it is very expensive. They also told the Dr’s that they didn’t need to contact them about how I’m doing and that it was OK for them to talk to Chuck.

After I was admitted, this got worse. The Guillian Barre Syndrome was causing a lot of breathing problems. That’s when the ventilator came about. I wasn’t willing to open or close my eyes. So, they had to do eye drops and tape my eyelids closed. Because of what all they had to do in order for me to survive, that is why I now have a very detailed medical directive that includes no life support machines.

My fears of Chuck leaving me was unfounded. Even though Scott and White Hospital was almost a 100 mile round trip, he showed up almost everyday. I was 100 percent paralyzed and the hospital wasn’t going to release me because of how I was still in crisis mode. My breathing was better which was great and I was no longer on a vent. But, I still couldn’t communicate with anyone. After a month or so, I was able to talk, even though nobody could hear me. I was so excited when I could open and close my eyes. I had to do a number of things in order for me to go home.

In order to go home, my Dr’s told me that there had to be someone with me at all times since I wasn’t out of the woods. I also had to have my house approved since there were so many things that could happen in a moments notice. Someone also had to be trained to help with going to the bathroom, bathing, helping me roll over in bed. When I came out of the hospital I was a size 0 and I would guess about 85 pounds. So, Chuck had to make sure everything was ready for me to come home.  He had to also make sure that I had the means to get medical treatment since I was a minor.

Links to Informational Websites for Guillian Barre Syndrome and CIPD


Part 2 “Going Home” Tomorrow.