Day: June 1, 2013

For those who know me personally, you know that there are health issues and such that I deal with daily. There are times when I wonder if my middle name is Job and somehow my name must be in the book of Job. Then, at the same time, I can’t help but be grateful for those times that I have struggled and even gotten upset with God. I didn’t understand why things were happening as they were and why those who were addicted to drugs, alcohol and porn didn’t have these problems. I guess there are some things that we may never know and I had to change my focus from me to what God had planned for me. Not saying I know this still to this day.

What I do know is that because of the things in my life, I have been given the opportunity to meet people who have the same type of medical problems or know of someone. There are many types of people in my life that I would never have known and wasn’t really interested in knowing. We weren’t like minded. But then, what if all those people God put in my life when I was younger and still to this day, would I be the person I am and have the faith I have? How all those people who made bad choices in their lives may need to have more time or someone to show them that the only way through this and to find hope and joy is with Christ alone? Maybe they just needed extra time and someone to point them in the right direction. Showing them who God is through music, prayer and witnessing is a way to help others see that joy can be found and it is possible, even on those gloomy days there is hope.

I find truly amazing is that God knows that music is what comforts me during times of sorrow, anger, tribulation and joy. When I drive in my car, I have music on that helps me keep my eyes upon Jesus. Even on those days that seem dark and gloomy at times Jesus Christ has promised to never leave us or forsake us.

Take a look at these great scriptures:

• Psalm 46:1 (Daily Affirmation)

God is our refuge and strength and ever present in times of trouble.

1. Psalms 126:5

 Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.

• John 16:33

 In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]

For some reason when we focus on our problems too long they seem to get bigger and insurmountable. When I think of my problems I choose to focus on things I am thankful for.  I’m not saying this is always easy to do, but it does help with those times when everything seems out of control and gloomy. 

Last week some of you may have read my blog that I did on Frankie. I have been thinking about him and the choices he made when he decided that he wanted to leave this world.

The reason I have been thinking about this is what his letter to everyone said. He didn’t want people fighting and wanted some resemblance of peace. I can see how he would have wanted that. In his life he has had many ups and downs. I’m not going to go into those ups and downs though. I will say that he loved many and had no problem telling them that. But out of everyone I think he loved his daughter the most. And this is where my thinking has taken me.

For me, I would hope that his daughter will know that his father loved her deeply and that she grows up in a world that will offer her unconditional love. I hope that somehow through all the angry posts, hurt feelings and hateful words that she will know how important she is and was to Frankie. When Frankie wrote that he wanted everyone to get along, I do hope this happens. He didn’t want fingers pointed and for others to blame each other since it was his choice.  All this fighting is doing no good and for me, it seems like Frankie has been lost in the shuffle somewhere. I have tried to not feed into the frenzy of angry words. I do that because I want to remember Frankie for who he was and is, not the anger and fighting that is going on.

There have been some really harsh and hurtful things from so many people and it really bothers me that it has come to this. Maybe I feel this way because I see things differently and have known others that have committed suicide. I honestly don’t think there was anything anyone could have done to change this outcome if a person was set on doing this. He made the ultimate choice that has changed the lives of those around him and in his life. I’m not going to say it was selfish because I’m not in his head. Everyone reacts to things differently. Mostly I’m sad for him and that he felt that was his only option and that there was nobody that he felt he could go to.

There has been no service planned for him as of yet. I think I would be a bit Leary to go to it anyhow because I would be afraid of what I would walk into and what kind of battle would ensue when everyone got together.

I did make a short video in memory of Frankie and hopefully those he loves will be OK with what I did and how I put it together. While making it, I had to be true to myself and make sure that it was something appropriate for all to watch. I do hope they understand.

Click here to see his video…