Month: September 2016

Tonight I was talking to a friend who has been having a difficult time health wise. During our conversation we got talking about how God’s present with us during difficult times, even if it is hard to tell while we are going through dark moments.

Psalms 46:1 is my all time favorite Bible Verse. This is also the verse that gets me through so much. tomorrow as my friend goes in for another biopsy, I will be praying for her and remembering this verse on her behalf. The verse says, “God is our refuge and strength, ever-present in times of trouble.”

As I was talking to her, I got thinking about one of many times I was in the hospital for what seemed like months at a time. Which literally, it was.

When I am in the hospital for any period of time, I always bring music with me and my fan.

One night, I was having a very difficult time. I was already in the hospital for about 6 weeks and I was at the point of wanting to throw in the towel. I was fighting sepsis during this particular visit.

During this night, I was done. I didn’t want to go on any longer. I spent most of the year in the hospital off and on and I couldn’t handle anything else. My daughters were teenagers and I was feeling like I wasn’t a good mother because I was always in the hospital fighting for my life.

Around 11pm, the night-time nurse came into my room to do my vitals. She was asking me about the songs that were on the radio at the time. I must have been listening to Klove. She wasn’t a Christian, so she wasn’t familiar with the songs I was listening to. I talked to her about them for a few minutes and then she  left to finish her rounds. Right before she came in, I was in tears. She asked me what was wrong and I told her that I was fine. I was just having one of those moments.

As I was having a discussion with God, which is my way of praying, I was frustrated and I have to say I was feeling a bit like I was abandoned. I have been going through so many storms, that it was getting hard to see and feel God’s presence. I was emotionally spent and I cried out to Jesus and I wanted to know what it was that I did so wrong to be going through all of the things I was and still am going through.

After crying to the point where I had no more tears left, I rolled over to my side and quieted myself down. I prayed and begged God to show me that He was there. I needed to know He was with me. And then it happened. The first song came on and it was called, “Praise You in the Storm.” It is a song by Casting Crowns. Here is a snippet of the song. Click Here to Listen to it;

Praise You In This Storm

And I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You

As I was listening to this song by Casting Crowns, I couldn’t help but let the tears once again flow. I must have been a mess emotionally. A nurse heard me sobbing in my room and she poked her head in and asked if there was anything she could do. All I could say was that, “God is here and I’m not alone.”

Then the next song that came on was a song by Third Day called, “Cry Out to Jesus.” By this time I am blubbering all over the place and inconsolable, but in a good way. Here are some of the lyrics;

Cry Out To Jesus

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keepin’ you back from your life
You believe that there’s nothing
And there is no one who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary
And love for the broken hearts
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
He’ll meet you wherever you are

Cry out to Jesus
Cry out to Jesus

This song spoke to me in so many ways. I’m laying in my hospital bed and the Dr’s didn’t know what else they could do or if they were going to have to send me to ICU. My life was in the hands of God at this point.

Then, a third song came onto the radio. It was an old hymn that many probably know. That song is called, “What a Friend We Have In Jesus.” About a year before this hospitalization I was listening to this song as I was driving down the road. I became so overcome emotionally that I had to pull over. Since I was in the hospital, it wasnt like I could pull over, but God did get my attention. I have listened to this song most of my life. It wasn’t until my life was falling apart medically that I got it. I finally figured out that Jesus is my friend. He will never leave me. He is always there. Pay attention to the words. Even though this song was written by Joseph M. Scriven in 1855. He wrote this as a poem to comfort his mother who was living in Ireland while he was in Canada. These words mean just as much today as it did back then.

What a Friend We Have In Jesus

What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear,
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Saviour still our refuge;
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends dispise forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in Prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield thee;
Thou wilt find a solace there.

As I was talking to my friend tonight about how there are times when life gets so hard and it is hard to feel God around us, He makes sure to show us that He is there. One of the things that she shared with me and it is so true is that we can pray over people at any moment. It doesn’t matter what else is going on around us.

By the way, if anyone out there would like to pray for her, she could really use some prayers. She found out that she has a mass it is malignant. So, she will be having treatments. What she and I were saying is that even though all these things are happening. We can allow these moments as opportunities to reach out to those who needs help. God does some awesome things.

I want to just share one more thing about my hospital stay. After the three songs were played and I was just exhausted emotionally and at the same time, I felt such an overwhelming peace that only can come from God.

As I was laying there, a cleaning women knocked on  my door. She asked me if she could come into the room? I told her that was fine. Even though I probably had puffy eyes and looked horrible. So, she came in and shut the door behind her. She was saying that she enjoyed the music that has been playing in my room. She felt the promoting to come in and pray over me. She explained that she had to shut the door or she would get in trouble. She prayed and held my hand. I felt the most warm and loving touch from her hands.

She was only in there a few minutes and she did say that she is a believer in Christ. As she left, I felt this cool breeze. I thought it was from the AC. When the nurse came back in to check the vitals and to see how I was, I asked her about the AC and she said it wasn’t on. I did find it strange that there was a cleaning lady that late, I asked the nurse to thank her for coming in and helping. She didn’t know who or what I was talking about. She said there was no cleaning ladies.

In closing, I would like to ask you all to say a prayer for my friend.

Dear Lord, I come to you today for my friend who has been told that she has a malignant mass. Lord, she is in need of your healing hand. In you all things are possible. Give her the strength to move forward on the path you have shown her. We pray that You bless my friend and renew her health and strengthen her as only You can.

Wrap your loving arms around her family as they draw near to you Love. Bind us with Your loving hands. You are the Vine dear Lord and we are the branches.

We praying these things in Jesus’s name, Amen.

 

I really like to watch the Big Bang Theory. The one I am watching right now is about where Sheldon’s sister is having a baby. All of his friends, Amy, Leonard, Penny, Howard and Bernadette, Raj are sitting around discussing what it would have been like if they never met Sheldon. For a long time I wouldn’t watch the show because I thought it was more about evolution and since I am a Christian, I wasn’t going to watch it. But, after watching it, I have grown to love it.

While I was watching the show it got me thinking about what my life would have been like if circumstances were different. As I thought about this episode, I thought about this Bible verse;

• Romans 8:28 – And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I met my husband Chuck when I was 17 and we got married about 4 months later. We lived in Texas at the time. I ended up with Guillian Barre Syndrome just before we got married. At the time I was probably in most ways not doing things in the right way. The reason I say that is that, I ran away from home, then met Chuck in Tucson. His mom met me when I was illegally working at a Winchells Donuts. I ended up with the job because I was wearing a bikini. I was pretty thin then. The owner gave me a job without even knowing my age or name. I am pretty sure it was because he was a pervert. But, like I said, I got a job there. I had no ID and he paid me under the table.

My mother in law walked in to get Donuts since her son (Chuck) was going to be coming home for a couple of days on leave. I gave her my number and told her if he wanted to do something. She wasn’t going to give him my number, but then my father in law stepped in and told him that some girl gave her his number. She gave it to him and he called.

We arranged to met at the Winchells Donuts. He told me what he was driving and I told him what I looked like. Since I ran away from home, I only had the clothes a friend let me where. Let’s say that she wore reallllllllly short shorts and shirts that didn’t leave much to the imagination. What didn’t help was that I just got my hair permed and the lady had it done in tight curls. I had no clue what it looked like since it was still wet and I was heading to met Chuck.

So, here I am walking of to this truck that was not in very good shape. Chuck was sitting in the truck working on something and I was thinking that this was NOT going to be a good fit. Then he looked at me and he thought the same thing, except he thought I was EASY, lol. The reason he thought that is because Robin let me wear her cloths till I could sneak back home to get mine. So, here I am walking up to his 58 Chevy wearing red shorts, a tub top and heels. My hair finally dried and it looked like an afro. When I seen how it looked, I about died lol.

The reason I am going into this little bit of history is that, if I wasn’t where I was at and met my mother in law because I had a perverted boss, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I wouldn’t have ended up in Texas,  I wouldn’t have met Chuck which means I wouldn’t have my daughter. I was completely paralyzed from Guillian Barre Syndrome. I ended up pregnant while having Guillian Barre Syndrome.

Chuck and I weren’t married at the time. But we did get married after 4 months of knowing each other. I guess we assumed we would get married before all of this happened. We got married early because I had no insurance and he was in the Army in Fort Hood, Texas.

 

God has a way of working things out because I would out about 7 years later that if I wouldn’t have had a child when I did, I never would have had kids. God had a way of making my bad decisions into something good. I ended up having to have a hysterectomy at the age of 25. When the oncologist told me that I should never have been able to get pregnant when I did. She couldn’t understand how I was able to carry a child the way I did. Since I had been paralyzed from Guillian Barre Syndrome and an undiagnosed illness, she didn’t get it. I got it. It was a God thing.

Hopefully, I’m not boring you all. But, since I had all the problems I didn’t really work. But we were struggling and there was NO WAY I was going to let anyone else raise my daughter. That’s when I met up with a friend and she had two daughters. She needed a baby sitter and I needed money. I offered to babysit her daughters and she took me up on it.

That’s when Rebechia (Rebecca) came into our lives. Jessica and Beckiah (Becca) became close friends. I had no idea what was going to happen. All I knew was that I was a babysitter. Eventually things happened and we ended up adopting Rebechia. She has a younger sister that also was in need of a home a few years later. At that time, I knew we were not equipped to be able to adopt two children. I had so many medical problems and was not able to do it. I felt guilty over that for many years and I guess even now I do also.

Because of circumstances we adopted her and we now had two daughters. God put everything in order. He knew what He was doing, even though I didn’t. Both of my daughters are huge blessings in my life. Even though Jessica was what I would have considered at the time an OOOPs baby, she wasn’t a mistake. I have never thought about Jessica being a mistake, even though I was just a teenager and I had major medical things going on, God worked it out.

 

 

If any of these things didn’t happen and in the right order, I don’t know where my life would be now. But, I do know that I wouldn’t have the life I have now. I wouldn’t have my daughters Jessica and Rebechia. I wouldn’t still be married to my husband almost 36 yrs next month. I wouldn’t have the most amazing grandkids. If I wasn’t working that night at Winchells, none of these things would have happened.

 

It’s interesting how a TV show can make a person think about how blessed you really are. Which I have to say I am very blessed. I don’t know what tomorrow holds and that’s OK. There are no guarantees, but I know that God holds my future in His hands. I don’t need to know about what is going to happen since God already knows that information and I am just going along for the ride. 🙂

in closing, I just want to say that if it weren’t for everything that happened in the order it did, I wouldn’t have met Chuck. Which would mean that Jessica wouldn’t have been born and there would be no JJ or Josalyn. Beckiah would be here since we adopted her. But more than likely she wouldn’t be married to Jason Barton, which would mean that there would be no Tyson, Jace, Ashton or Kora. Everything works out for the good, even when we may not realize it at the time.

 

 

I want to forewarn you all. This blog post is more of a vent. I just want to get if off my chest.

I honestly try to stay out of conversations that are political. I particularly try to stay out of religion and politics. My friend Lisa and I were discussing who is running and who we are voting for. We were able to have good conversation without trying to kill each other. We never unfriended each other. It isn’t that way on Facebook or social media.

I can’t even begin to count how many times people would literally get into screaming matches. They would go into how they are right and they read this article about it so they believe what it said. My guess is that they never go check out the sites to make sure they are real or not. This whole election year is out of control. I have had to restrict so many people on my Facebook because of the hate filled comments.

Being thankful for the elections to get done and over with is an understatement. When I turn on my computer, the first thing I see is Trump said or done this or that. Clinton is unfit and blah blah blah. I am so done with hearing about the blasted emails that got lost. I am tired of hearing how Trump is going to do this and that because he is the human form of Under Dog. Trump should get a blue cap and buzz around the world and tell everyone, “Have No Fear, Underdog is Here.”

Now it is the whole birther thing and again blah blah blah. All of these stories are  blurring the lines of where truth and reality will be met. I want to hear the facts, not all the other things that are cluttering my mind.

Then, there are those who are posting all kinds of stupid stuff without finding out if it is true or not. Satire sites (fake news) are popping up all over the place. Fake news websites are satire sites that are not funny. They are an attempt to play on gullible people who do not check sources and will just pass the news on as if it were really true. They make them look real but they are far from it. Here is a list of satire sites. These are sites you shouldn’t consider right. More and more fake-news websites have appeared online. These sites publish articles that  – for the most part – are simply made up by their authors.

• National Report: (http://nationalreport.net/)
• Huzlers: (http://www.huzlers.com/)
• Empire News : (http://empirenews.net/)
• Empire Sports: (http://www.empiresports.co/)
• The Onion:  (http://www.theonion.com)
• The Christ Wire: (http://christwire.org)
• And Many More…

Then you have  what is called clickbait websites. They are sites that will take a little bit of a true story and then they  will make up other details to create fear.  For the most part they are conspiracies and not reliable.

It bugs the bejibbers out of me when I see links to these sites on my Facebook wall throughout  the day and at least dozens of times a day and it makes me want to smack my head into a wall.

In closing I just want to say that my  prayer is that Christ would come soon. I wish this election is over when. We must be getting close to the end times. I am also coming before the Lord to ask Him for wisdom and guidance for who I should vote for. I will NOT vote for Trump. No amount of money will convince me to vote for him. I can’t vote for him because he stands for things that I am against.

No other person on Earth knows your story better than you do. Sharing your testimony with others can be a powerful and important way to tell God thank you for all he has done. The Bible says in Isaiah 12:4, “Thank the Lord! Praise his name! Tell the world about his wondrous love and how mighty he is!”

I have shared my personal testimony with many people. My personal testimony of faith isn’t really much about what I would call the “ah ha” moment.

As I have said off and on in my life, I wasn’t raised in a church-going family, and for the most part they weren’t Christians.

What I would like to discuss is why it is important for us to share our personal testimony.

When we share our testimony it is about what we have experienced. It’s important share our experiences with God.  I actually believe it is mandatory to witness to others. As Christians  we need to come forward and talk about what God has and is doing in our lives. Friends, families, neighbors and strangers will begin to believe that God is real, prayers get answered and miracles happen. When we share the Gospel and our testimony it will inspire others to seek God.

Acts 1:8 says, “But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” When we share our testimony we are to be a witness to Jesus Christ. By witnessing to Jesus Christ we are communicating the things that we have seen and experienced in our lives.

When we share our testimony with others we are helping others that may be going through the same things we have gone through both good and bad.  I can’t even begin to count how many testimonies I have heard  that have been beneficial in my life. There are situations and experiences in our lives that may be causing anger, despair and they eat aways at your insides.

A good friend of mine has been going through some pretty rough patches in her life. If she were to allow these feelings to take over, it has the possibility of making everyday miserable and makes each day hard to get through. While I observe these moments in her life and how debilitating they are, I also see her love for Christ. At the end of the day, she gives it to God and that is something each of us should be doing.

 

I believe Christians have an obligation to share  what God is doing in our lives. We each have our own unique experiences with Him and I would think that because of our experiences with Jesus. We each have the ability to reach people who can relate to what we have or are going through. Jesus has a plan and purpose for each of us. Even if you are afraid to say what Jesus has done in your life, He will guide each person specifically in every  part of your testimony.

There are those who claim to be Christian and yet they feel empty inside. As I talk to various people about my experiences they are shocked that I feel the way I do and I still put my faith in Christ. For me, there is no other way. Jesus is the ONLY way. I find it very sad that people are loosing their faith. I wish churches had a time in their services where people would share what God is doing in their life or share their personal testimony. I wonder if churches had a time of sharing if people would do it. I’m not the kind of person who likes to stand front and center when I share my testimony. I use blogging and one on one interactions.

There use to be a ladies get together called, “Tender Touch.” The ladies who started this were able to offer something to the ladies that helped renew their faith. One part of the program was where someone would share their testimony with the ladies. Usually there was someone in the crowd that needed to hear that message. I wish we still had this. I would love to get something like that back at my church.

It is our responsibility to share the good news that Jesus Christ paid for their sins, and conquered death for us through rising from the dead.  Once a person believes  that Jesus Christ is the son of God then His people should go on to receive the power of the Holy Spirit, and then testify to others what God has done for them.

The Bible says, “Oh, give thanks to the Lord! Call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the people’s!” (1 Chronicles 16:8).

You also give them a glimpse into God’s will for their lives. The Bible says, “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18 NIV). God’s will for our lives is to show gratitude in all circumstances. I have a bit of a hard time doing this, but it is something we are instructed to do. Begin thankful doesn’t happen just on Thanksgiving and it isn’t about a national holiday.

Take a few moments to thinking about the following questions and share your answers;

• What has God done in your life that you need to share with others who are struggling through difficult circumstances?
• How has someone else’s story inspired or impacted you?

On Monday evening my church showed the movie “Risen.” It wasn’t in the theaters very long where I live. I think a week if that, so I didn’t get a chance to watch it till Monday. I never thought much about what it was like for the Roman soldiers that was present during the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.

I have a hard time imagining what it must have been like for those who were living during the time of Jesus Christ. There isn’t a doubt that things were much different then. What was it like to witness what happened from the time Jesus had the nails was hammered into his hands and feet? I can’t begin to fathom what it must have been like to watch a man without sin being nailed to the cross. I have always had this sick feeling when I think about what it must have been like for Jesus. As the nails are hammered into Jesus’ hands and feet. I can’t handle watching scenes like that. The reason why I don’t watch them is because all I can imagine is my hands holding the nails while pounding them into Jesus’ body. It’s because of my sins that He died the most horrendous death of all.

Clavius is a Roman Tribune who is serving Pontius Pilate.  He was ordered to guard the body of Jesus Christ. Clavius is dumbfounded and visibly shaken after he comes face to face with the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Clavius looks up to Jesus after Jesus’ side was pierced to make sure He was dead.

This part of the movie kinda reminded me of an experience JJ had at the Catholic Church where I live. We were at a special program and we were sitting up front. My grandson was around 6 at the  time. He has never been in a Catholic Church before. We were sitting up front enjoying the music, but JJ was curled up in a ball and covering his eyes. I thought he was horsing around or very bored. We would try to keep him quiet and not distract the singers, but it was a losing battle.

After the musical program was finished we took JJ aside to ask him what he was doing and basically he was no being respectful to those who wanted to listen to the music and it was disrespectful to those singing. When we asked him why he was doing what he was doing, he said “he was scared.” I had no clue why until he said that he was afraid because of how Jesus was hanging on the cross with blood coming from his eyes, hands and feet. He wanted to run and hide because he was so frightened.

Clavius came face to face with Jesus Christ. He saw the blood and pain that was coming from Jesus Christ. It was at that moment that Calvius realized this wasn’t an ordinary man. This man was special. The expression on Clavius’ face was similar to the expression JJ had in a sense. As Clavius looked up to look directly into Jesus’ eyes with blood pouring down His face, it make him uneasy and fearful and yet there was a connection of sorts. He didn’t have to say anything since it was written all over his face and demeanor.

Clavius was ordered to oversee the intombing of Jesus. Two of his soldiers that were keeping watch ended up passing out because they were drinking too much. Clavius doesn’t believe in Jesus or anything that other than some god that he prayers to. Pontius Pilate was embarrassed because those who were suppose to be guarding the tomb has failed. Pontius Pilate orders Clavius to find the body of Jesus Christ and to interrogate Jesus’ followers.

There was a number of places in this movie that gave me chills. Clavius was searching for Mary Magdalene. As he followed her through the upper room, he encounters Jesus Christ sitting there with his disciples. Clavius is obviously shaken to the core. I totally get why he would be in shock. “I have seen two things which cannot reconcile,” he says. “A man dead without question, and that same man alive again.”

When Clavius, and Jesus’ disciples finally got to where they were going in Galilee and he spent the night there on the rocks. Clavius went to where Jesus was sitting and Clavius sat next to Him and this is a part of the conversation that struck me the most.

JESUS: What frightens you?
CLAVIUS: Being wrong. Wagering an eternity on the wrong answer.
JESUS: Know then.
(I think that’s what he said. I missed the line. Either way, he didn’t say anything.)
JESUS: What is it you seek? Clarity? Peace? A day without death?
CLAVIUS: *crying as he nods his head in agreement*

God knows each of us so deeply and intimately and  he is always there, with open arms. I find it amazing how God uses those like Clavius and others who we would least  expect to do great things to advance His kingdom. It is truly amazing how time and time again, God uses the ones that we least expect to do some of the greatest work for His kingdom. God was able to speak to Clavius’ heart by presenting Himself, through His son Jesus.

I just want to finish this post up by saying that this was an awesome movie. I don’t know if I would take a young child since there is blood and gore. This is one of those movies that will reach those who have doubts about Jesus. This is probably the first show I have watched that is from the perspective of a non-believer.

At the end of the movie they have it where Clavius was taking off his ring. I would think that this was the last bit of evidence that he was once a Roman Tribune and serving Pontious Pilot. It was at this point where Clavius was leaving everything behind so he could follow God. The man he was sitting with asked him if he really beleived in Jesus and he said,  “I believe, and can never be the same.” God is changing lives every day, and I know for myself I am a different person because of God.

God knows each of us so deeply and intimately and  he is always there, with open arms.