I’m pretty sure that this blog will get some people upset, but, I am just needing to vent on this subject just this once.

Ever since the presidential election took place here in the United States, there has been chaos from all sides. I can’t even begin to count how many people assume that I am a Republican and that I had to vote on Trump because I am a Christian. They would say things such as even though they don’t like him, they thought he was the lesser of two evils. The way I see it, evil is evil. If it were up to me I would have voted for John Kasich. But, since it doesn’t really matter if you vote or not, it wouldn’t have mattered one way or another since it is the electoral college that actually decides.

Then I would have people either say directly or post on Facebook that they are voting for Trump because of how he is pro-life and because of who is going to be the new incoming Supreme Court Justice. I am pro-life, I get it, and I get how it is important to have the right people in the Supreme Court. Those two things are the only positives that I can see when it comes to voting for someone who has strong Christian values.

I have stayed out of discussions ever since the elections. I am so fed up with all of the horrible things that Trump has said. When I hear and see people comment about how anyone who wouldn’t have voted for Trump is pure evil and should be sent to hell, I have a problem with that. I can’t stomach listening to Kelly Ann Conway. I have turned off the news because it seem’s like all I hear is garbage coming from her and all the so-called tweets.

When I hear people say that people should just look past the words and say things such as “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me.” I don’t get how people can push aside what he has said and the hate spewed words that come from him. Words in my opinion is harsher and can destroy a person. Try telling a person who has been emotionally beaten down that words don’t matter. Try telling a very dear young man who decided it was better to kill himself since he was told he was worthless and never would amount to anything. Tell another young man who was like a nephew to me that he is better of dead in his mind and decided it is OK to hang himself. Tell the parents who found him hanging that the words that drove him to do such a thing that words never hurt and to get over it.

I can go on and on about how words won’t hurt a person and to just deal with it and move on. Not everyone can do that. As I listened to these so-called words that was coming from Trump I felt ill to my stomach. When my sister is listening to what he is saying with tears rolling down her face and she is getting emotionally upset that it doesn’t matter and to get on with her life. Words and messages that Trump said are words that can destroy.

A friend of mine came over and was watching the news and was listening to what he was saying about the women who accused him of groping them and how he treated them in such a harsh way became distraught. I didn’t realize that she was groped at a party and then it turned into rape. I could tell she was getting upset and I asked her if she needed to talk. She was saying that she felt the same way that some of these other ladies that were groped. She never turned in the person who did it because she knew that nobody would listen since the guy was well-known and from a good family. She lived with this secret her entire life.

If you were to ask someone who has gone through things like rape, bullying,emotional and physical abuse, then go up to them and let them know that they should just forget about it like it never happened. I can tell you from experience that words do hurt and I would take a broken bone any day over someone who has mentally abused me.

Try telling my sister who has gone through so much trauma from when she was a baby and has had to deal with depression, suicidal through and has night terrors from the things that happened to her. Woman and people have come forward and faced their fears and the way they were treated is appalling.

I had a friend that was raped and when she came forward, she was treated like it was her fault. I don’t get how it is OK to treat women the way Trump has treated women and then call it locker room banter! I don’t get how being a racist is OK! I don’t get why people are OK with anything Trump said about others who may not look like a super model!  I use to watch his show many years ago until he decided he was going to go out and share his thoughts on the whole Obama birther thing. I don’t get how he can lump Hispanics together and calling them rapists and drug dealers. I just don’t get so many things.

I don’t like Rosie O’Donnell, but what he said about her makes me sick. I took his statement personally because I am not skinny. And he for sure isn’t skinny and yet he said to Rosie or about her, “If I were running ‘The View’, I’d fire Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, I’d look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say ‘Rosie, you’re fired.’”

I have witnessed and I know a few people and some family members who have been sexually molested by another family member or a friend. And for Trump to say, “I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her” made me sick to my stomach. One of my cousins was raped by her father and her brother because she was pretty. She tried to get help and even talked to a pastor of her church. A sheriff lived in the house next door and yet nothing was done. It was all swept under the carpet. I’m not saying Trump did anything to Ivanka, what I am saying is that I find it disgusting that he would even think or say something like that begin with.

I think anyone has a right to vote for the person they think would be the best president for our country. I have no problem respecting who they vote for. As you can tell Trump did not get my vote. I wrote in Kasich because I don’t see him as a person who is the lesser of the two evils. I refuse to vote for anyone that is evil and narcissistic. I have no right to judge others for who they voted for and if that was for Trump, then fine. But people shouldn’t assume that I did, because I did not. I have stated the reasons why I haven’t.

My daughter was telling me the other day that I shouldn’t feel the way I feel and to give him a chance to prove himself. This is one of those times for me when I have to put it in Gods hands, because I have a great deal of negative thoughts on what is going on in our country. Many are optimistic and I am not there right now. I wish people would stop assuming that I “have to” embrace him. Then some assume since I am Christian, that I should hold my nose and vote for him. That is NOT how I see things, but like I said, I do respect what each person feels. This is just something that God is going to have to work on my heart.

I will be praying for our country and for our leaders. I have a great deal of stress and worry over what may be coming our way. My hope is in Jesus Christ only. He is the only one who is going to be saving the day. My prayer is for Jesus Christ to come soon. I have a really bad feeling on things and I only see things get worse. Normally I don’t feel this way during presidential elections. There is always going to be someone winning and someone losing. In this election cycle, I don’t see either winning. This is not a win win situation in my thoughts.

I have never felt emotionally spent and drained as I have with this election. I know most won’t or can’t understand where I am coming from, but it is what it is. I didn’t realize how this election affected me until I was talking to a friend and he was so excited that Trump won. He thought Trump was going to be riding into town on a white horse and save the day. He tried to give me a hug and asked me about how excited I was.

I stepped back at that point and I just let him know exactly what I thought. I don’t think he was prepared since he assumed I voted for Trump.He also asked me if I was going to watch the inauguration.  I ended up lashing out to him in a way that shocked him. I didn’t swear out loud, but I am pretty sure there were some colorful words in my heart and mind. I actually shocked myself. This is going to be one of those things I have to pray on and have God soften my heart since He is the only one that can.

I hope this blog post hasn’t been offensive to others. This is how I feel and it isn’t really about anyone other than myself and my own thinking. If you are offended, well, I guess you can be. You own your own feelings just as much as I do.