The Reason I Don’t Celebrate Valentines


My husband and I stopped doing Valentines a long time ago.  I know it must sound pretty crazy that we don’t make a big day because it is the day of love. If people want to celebrate the day, that is fine. Each person has a right to do that. But I don’t need a specific day to tell let those I love know that I love them.  I find that days like Valentines are way to commercialized. I don’t see February 14th as a day of love. I see it as a day when the florists and candy makers are making a mint of people.

I get nothing out of someone giving me a gift, card or whatever else because they feel like they are obligated. Instead we enjoy doing things for each other to surprise them with gifts or spending time together throughout the year.

article-2084835-0f67c31900000578-955_468x352When I worked at Lins Marketplace and would help with flowers and balloons, I can’t even count how many husbands and boyfriends would come in looking for anything and everything just to keep them out of the doghouse. They would point out how their loved ones told them if they didn’t buy roses, candies, teddy bears or balloons, the might as well not come home. I felt bad for the men who thought they would be heading to divorce court if they didn’t buy something for the quote unquote person that they love. I would prefer to get nothing instead of my husband feeling like he has to give me something.

I can’t talk about this day without sharing some history about it. I was actually surprised to find out that most people don’t know that this day is named for Saint Valentine or Valentines. While I do find that a little sad, it is understandable. Here in the US, we don’t talk about Saint Valentine much. This holiday is all about love (well, love, candy, flowers, and food!). If you would like to learn more about the history of Valentines, Click Here. 

I never really thought much about Valentines day and how it can be hard on some people. My daughter came home from school one day and she was in tears. Her sister received a number of Valentines cards and also had a date for the night. My other daughter didn’t. I was wondering why she was so upset. She and I had a talk and she was depressed because she felt nobody cared about her and that nobody loved her. I took this very seriously.

Valentines Day for the most part focuses entirely on love and romantic relationships. It is great for those who are in a romantic relations, but for those who aren’t it is a source of depression and many may isolate themselves.   Many people who doesn’t have a Valentines may find it more difficult to go to work, school  because of others getting chocolates or roses delivered to those around them. For most single people it could be a minor inconvenience, but for others who suffer from depression or other mental illnesses the feelings of isolation and loneliness could be much worse.

I was reading up on how Valentines Day is a source of depression for many. Here is a bit of information on how to deal with depression and isolation.

Fighting Valentine’s Day depression (src, Sovereign Health of California)

The time during and after Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be depressing. Here are five things anyone can do to beat depression year-round:

  • Have perspective. Valentine’s Day isn’t an official holiday; nobody’s being commanded to be involved with another person. If you’re alone and beating yourself up, have a day where you’re good to yourself for once.
  • Focus on giving love rather than receiving it. The love people feel is often the love they give to the rest of the world. Volunteering could be a good outlet.
  • Think of the people close to you. Be it family members or friends, not every relationship needs to be romantic to be fulfilling. Anyone with friends is fortunate, and a strong social safety net is helpful in fighting depression.
  • Be in the present. Don’t think about relationships that ended poorly – they’re history and over with. Also, don’t think about future relationships or fantasies about someone you’re not involved with.
  • Get exercise. Get out of the house and stay active. Exercise releases endorphins, which can lift moods.

While I was blowing up balloons at my work place a customer told me that her husband better get her something for Valentines or she is considering leaving her. She would not be humiliated if he forgot. It wasn’t like she wanted a small bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates. What she wanted would have costed her husband well over $100.00. The roses alone would have been $89.00. She wanted the best of the best. I actually became angry with her and called her a shallow person.

valentines-day-gift-ideas-for-the-woman-you-mateA few years ago a friend of mine was commenting on how excited she was about Valentines day. She was super excited and I asked her why. She told me that it is because her husband always gets her something good. There was no mention of how she was excited to spend time with her hubby or how much she loved him.  She had no plans on getting him anything. She was all about what she was going to get.

I don’t understand why a woman would think it is OK to put their husband or boyfriend in that position. I don’t want to include everyone in this comment. I think there are some genuine guys out there who wants to  shower their loved ones with gifts. By why is it that these gestures have to be for one particular day?

What I would like to say to those women who thinks that nobody loves them because they didn’t get a stupid heart-shaped box of chocolates or a rose that will die, you are worth more than that. I don’t need a candy or gifts to tell me how someone feels about me. I would think that spending time together with each and everyday is invaluable.Gifts are nice once in a while, but I don’t have to have a gift to tell me how valuable I am.  We just understand that we value our time together each and every day.

jesus-loves-you-clip-art-kxlhxs-clipartIn closing, I don’t want to say that Valentines Day is a bad day, I won’t judge others if they choose to celebrate it. For those who have a Valentine it is a good day to reflect and look closer at your relationship. I would say that it is a good day to remember why you have fallen in love the first place and it is a good day to do something nice for one another.

Mainly I want to say to each person is that each and every one of us has a Valentine and that is Jesus Christ. He is better than any box of chocolate or vase of roses.







Father to Son- By Jim Black

Author- James (Jim) Black 

Father to Son

by James S. Black

Oh, my Son, do you know
The gifts I will someday bestow
Upon my children if they will obey
And upon the straight and narrow stay?

You say you want to be the one
That makes known the value of “The Son”?
You’ll be ridiculed, beaten, striped, and scorned.
Of all my children, please be warned
Only you will be left completely alone.
You’ll discover the way and lead others along.

You will go to earth as a little child.
You’ll grow and learn to be meek and mild.
And if you do; if you teach them well,
You’ll keep them away from the grasp of hell.
There are blessings to gain, lessons to learn
Plans to make, and mansions to earn.

Be strong, my Son, you will be,
The one to work and oversee
My work on earth and on other worlds.
The gospel you’ll cause to be unfurled.

You’ll give to me all the glory.
You’ll live the tale and tell the story,
So others can enjoy the peace of mind
That faith and happiness can be refined.
They’ll come to know what went before
When they pass through heaven’s sacred door.

All this, my Son, you will endure.
You’ll lead the way, be very sure
That all my children have heard the plan,
Each one throughout all the lands.

When all the words which I have spoke
Have come to pass we will envoke
The ordinances that will bring to pass
The End; the world will be turned as if to glass.
And I will say to You, my son,
“It’s done, Jehova. Well done.”

© 2017, James Skouson Black


Renewing Your Mind

Romans 12:2, Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

I have been working on this blog post for a while. A couple of things brought me to the point of finishing this post up and I am hoping that I don’t offend to many. I also hope that this post doesn’t become a battle royal. The first thing today that happened was a dear friend of ours posted this status on his Facebook page.

  • (Jim Black) I am going to step away from political discourse for the time being. It is hard for me to maintain a spiritual demeanor and be politically active at the same time. Therefore, I shall not read or respond to politically charged posts until further notice. Thanks for your support.
Click on this image and it will take you to Pastor Craig’s sermons, past and present. 

The second thing that happened was that I was watching a sermon o my ROKU. I subscribe to a channel that is about the For those who don’t know what ROKU is, it’s a little box that we have hooked up to our television. You have to have WiFi to be able to use it. Instead of having cable, we watch our shows by streaming. You can watch the sermons through ROKU or you can watch the sermons on YouTube or on their website. Oro Valley Church of the Nazarene. The sermons are titled Reset.

One of the comments that Pastor Craig said was, “Renewing your mind, takes a lot of time and it takes time. Time is your friend, renewing your mind takes time, time is your friend. You never broke the old habits. if you don’t take off the old before you put on the new, the new will peel off.”

The sermon along with Jim’s helped me get my thoughts together in a more positive way. Originally this blog post was going to be about how worried and stressed I have been over Trump. When I was supposed to be sleeping or doing other normal things that needs to be done, I was stressing over Trump. I have also been taking many comments personal. It isn’t like those that I know on Facebook such as  friends, family members, my church has family said anything negative to me or about me. At least that I know of, but I have spent countless hours venting internally over some things our government and society has been doing. My mind is far from finding any sense of peace.

When I should have been sleeping, my mind has been running through various actions that have consumed my mind. I would and still do look back at the words that people have been saying about those who they consider “liberals” just because those that didn’t vote for Trump have been labeled as, “baby killers, on welfare, same-sex marriage, no morals and so on. There is a long list when it comes to what people think. liberals are.

It isn’t just coming from the Republicans, it is also coming from the Democrats. Democrats  have said over and over again about how peaceful they are. Yet, they are the ones destroying property and saying vulgar things all in the name of standing together. I watched both of the conventions for Trump and for Clinton. I think back to when Michelle Obama said .”while they go low, we go high.” I don’t see any of this going on. I guess in some ways, yes, but for the most part the actions are low. Things don’t make sense in my brain when it comes to all of the chaos that is going on in the world. I don’t have the answers, well, The only answer I have is Jesus Christ.

I have had some people assume that I am a liberal because I didn’t vote for Trump. I believe that each and every person has the right to vote for the person they think would be the best man or woman for the job.  It isn’t my job to judge those who don’t agree with me. Although, I will be the first one to post a fact checked article over false news. I wanted Carson and then he dropped out and then I decided on Kasich. He stood for the things that meant the most for me.

As, I was reading the post that Jim Black wrote and the sermon I was listening to from Oro Valley Church of the Nazarene, I decided the best approach I could take was to see what God’s Words say. I have always believed that the Bible gives us all of the answers. We just have to be willing to look for it and then accept the truths that God has given us.

2015003_univ_lsr_lg-1So, what does the Bible have to  say about government and politics. I have found that the Bible is pretty clear when it comes to the government. Which also includes education, helping those in need, private property and welfare.


Here are some verses that I have found on this subject;

  • Proverbs 8:15, 16 , By me kings reign and rulers issue decrees that are just; by me princes govern, and nobles—all who rule on earth.  Since the Bible is the inspired Word of God, it is pretty safe to say that the government should use wisdom to rule and to make laws that are just.
  • 1 Timothy 5:3-16 , Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. Read More…
  • 2 Thessalonians 3:6-15, In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers and sisters, to keep away from every believer who is idle and disruptive and does not live according to the teaching[a] you received from us. For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone’s food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. Read More… 
  • Proverbs 28:2-4 and 29:4 urges rulers to maintain order justly, to follow God’s moral code and to avoid oppressing the poor.

After reading up on all the things government wise and such, it is pretty easy to see that when people are in need of help, they should come to their families first and then to those they may know. If all else has failed, they go to the church and other sources. People should work for a living and not become dependent on others. I haven’t found any place in the Bible where it says that the government is the one responsible for taking care of others. It also doesn’t say that the government is to take care of the poor and needy by using public funds/taxes  from those who are paying taxes.

So, what does the government and the chaos that is going on around us have to do with renewing of our minds? To change your life, you must change the way you think. Behind everything you do is a thought. Every behavior is motivated by a belief, and every action is prompted by an attitude.

  • Ephesians 4:23, to be made new in the attitude of your minds; Change always starts first in the mind. The way you think determines the way you feel, and the way you feel influences the way you act, which means “there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes”

There isn’t a day that goes by when we aren’t bombarded with negative news, people and discussions.  As we see all the chaos playing out on our televisions, computer screens or whatever, I would say that we shouldn’t let the fears, doubts and the anxieties of this world stop you from being the person God intended you to be.  Renew your mind, and focus on His Word, mercy and grace. When we do these things, we are able to help those people in our lives that are family, friends and others that we reach out to for Christ.

The only conclusions I can come with is that it’s time to renew our minds. I know for myself, it is something I need to do more often, well each day I need to do that. It can be difficult and I struggle with it, but if it is something that you desire, then it can be done.

Those who are in the government aren’t  the savior of the world. Jesus Christ is the salvation for all of mankind. God knew that the world needed to be saved long before Trump or an other politician. Redemption can not be accomplished  because of politics or the power of man. Salvation of mankind is accomplished only through Jesus Christ, faith, grace and love. “Love our neighbors as ourselves” and “strive for justice and peace among all people and respect the dignity of every human being.”