I was working on the powerpoint for my church and I took a break so I could check my voicemail. I realized I haven’t checked it for a couple of days. The first voice mail was from Dixie Veteranariums Pet Hospital. I just miss Jasper so much. I’ve been watching the videos I’ve loaded on yahoo and sadness takes over my feelings. This video is about 2 1/2 minutes. I’ve played it so many times. I think mainly as a way of me needing to justify sending him over the Rainbow Bridge.
I was listening to the message that one of the guys in the office left for me. He said that I could come and pick up Jasper. Instead of me picking up Jasper following him being sick, this time was different because I have to pick up Jaspers ashes. He went over the Rainbow Bridge last week and it’s been very difficult.I’ve been watching the videos I uploaded onto youtube and I cry. I do my best to watch his videos after Chuck goes to bed since I cry without notice.
When I sit in our spare bedroom which has turned into my office, I can’t help but think about Jasper. Jaspers’s bed was right next to my desk. If I wanted to pet him, all I had to do is reach down and pet him. If he wanted extra lovings, he would move to where my hand is and he would nudge his head against my hand. I didn’t keep Jasper is one of our crates because he got to the point where he couldn’t even lift his hind legs the opening where the door is. The grates have a 1-inch step up and he couldn’t do it.
I got snappy with my other two dogs Henry and Parker. Henry went to lay on Jaspers’s old bed and I got upset because that was Jaspers’s bed and nobody else. I didn’t mean to get upset, but I did. I also love Henry and Parker. I felt bad that I got upset with them. I was organizing things and I put Jaspers’s bed and bowl down on the floor for a few minutes.
After I calmed down, I gave Parker and Henry some extra loving, cried and told them I was sorry I got upset. I know they are dogs and probably didn’t know what I was saying. But, I needed them to know that they are loved and it wasn’t right for me to get upset with them.
Thank You For Your Kindness and Generosity
Everyone has been very kind. One person donated the funds for me to have a small number of his ashes made into a memorial glass heart. As I’m crying uncontrollably, I don’t know how I can ever repay their kindness and generosity.
Then a friend that I worked with is going to create something for the rest of Jaspers ashes. My heart is overwhelmed because of the love and generosity that everyone is showing me.
In closing, I just want to share that I know that Jasper’s soul isn’t in the body since our bodies are just a vessel for our souls and spirits. I know that he isn’t hurting any longer. I miss you Jasper and I know you are in a much better place.