Uncle John’s 4 ply Bathroom Reader

ImageOK! This is something we all do and I know it is a weird topic. But today my post is about going to the bathroom. I’m not talking about if you have to go number 1 or 2. I’m talking about that special time alone unless you have a young child. The restroom is the one place where you can tune the world out and have some private time.

Certainly, using the bathroom as a sanctuary rather than for its traditional purposes is not a new idea. The folks who publish The Old Farmer’s Almanac still embrace the annual’s history as a commode companion. Notice the hole punched through the spine. That dates back to a time when the magazine would hang on a hook in outhouses.

About 100 years ago, toilet paper didn’t exist. Folks resorted to old newspapers and catalogues for, er, hygiene. That just might explain how the tradition of bathroom reading started.

In my bathroom I have a variety of reading materials for those who want to rest in there and take a break without anyone bothering them. Education doesn’t end in the classroom you know? Recently I found a gem of a book for those of us who like to take our time and read in the bathroom and that book would be called Uncle John’s 4 ply Bathroom Reader. There are all kinds of nifty facts in there. It is a fact filled almost 900 page reader. Nobody can say there isn’t something interesting in the bathroom besides the kind of toilet paper we buy.

You can learn all kinds of things while sitting on the commode, lounging in the tub or hiding from those you want a break from. Here are some of the interesting things you can read about while on the pot;

Prime-Time Proverbs

On Politics– ‘When I was in third grade, there was a kid running for office. His slogan was: “Vote for me and I’ll show you my wee-wee”. He won by a landslide.” Dorothy from Golden Girls

It’s the Law

  • In Logan County, Colorado, it is illegal to kiss a sleeping woman.
  • It’s illegal to ride a camel on Nevada Highways.
  • You’re breaking the law if you are wearing ‘form-fitting” pants in Lewes, Delaware
  • Kansas law prohibits catching fish with your bare hands.

Myths America

The Myth; The Liberty Bell got its name when it was rung on July 4, 1776 to commemorate declaring independence.

Background: The take was invented by writer George Lippard in his 1847 book, Legends of the American Revolution.

The Truth: The Liberty Bell was installed in Philadelphia in 1753- 23 yrs before the colonists rebelled- and it has nothing whatsoever to do with the Revolution. its nickname, “Liberty Bell,” was coined by abolitionists in 1839. They were referring to the end of slavery in America, not freedom from England.

Lunacy

  • “lunacy” refers to the Roman moon goodness, Luna.
  • More children are born after new and full moons than any other time.
  • The term lunatic fringe was coined by Teddy Roosevelt, who was describing some of his followers in the Bullmoon party during the 1912 presidential elections.

Tissue Talk

Of course I wouldn’t leave tissue talk out of this post. Since we are discussing our time in the bathroom. Here are some interesting and not so interesting facts about the very tissue we wipe our bums with.

According to a 1991 survey by the Scott Paper Company:

  • You can gauge a person’s education by whether they read in the bathroom, More than two-thirds of people with a masters degrees and doctorates read in the stall, the survey shows. Only one in two high school grads read while in the bathroom, and 56 percent of those with college degree’s do.”
  • Fifty-four percent of Americans fold their toilet tissue neatly while 35 percent wad it into a ball before using it.
  • 7% steal rolls of toilet paper.
  • More than 60 percent prefer that their toilet paper roll over the top, 29 percent from the bottom. The rest don’t care.

Left Out

According to Why do Clocks Run Clockwise, and Other Imponderables, here’s why toilet plus handles are on the left side.

‘Most early flush toilets were operated by a chain above the tank that had to be fulled down by hand. Almost all of the chains were located on the left side of the toilet, for the user had more leverage when pulling with the right hand while seated.

‘When the smaller handles near the top of the tank were popularized in the 1940’s and 1950’s, many were fitted onto the existing toilets than equipped with pull chains. therefore, it was cheaper and more convenient to place the new handles where they fitted standard plumbing and fixtures.”

if you are interested in getting your own copy of Uncle Johns 4 ply Bathroom Reader, you can get it at Barnes and noble or Amazon.

Here is what Amazon.com says about this book…

Here’s a potpourri of stimulating reading for moments when nothing but the most absorbing material will do! No more frantic searches at the last minute for that perfect magazine article. No agonizing choices between light reading and the serious stuff. This 4-ply reader has it all: entertainment, humor, education, trivia, science, history, pop culture…and more! Of course, it’s even divided by length—you can spend a minute with the Quickies, relax with Normal-Length articles, or really get comfortable with Long Items.

With UNCLE JOHN’S 4-PLY BATHROOM READER strategically placed in your home, you’ll settle in happily and read about:
  • The Origins of Common Words and Phrases
  • The 7 Wonders of the Ancient World
  • The Real Difference Between Burger King and McDonald’s
  • Elvis’s Letter to Richard Nixon
  • The Curse of King Tut
  • What’s in a Twinkie
  • Bizarre Lawsuits

For years, the Bathroom Reader’s Institute has researched your bathroom reading habits in an attempt to understand and serve the interests of America’s forgotten readers. Enjoy

There is one last thing I want to add if you are at my house reading Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader, Please be sure to wash your hands and do not spread germs or other unmentionable things to others who may want to pick up some reading materials while sitting on the throne or trying to get a few minutes of quiet time.
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