Going out to Dinner Etiquette

_68270431_payingbill_think464I got to thinking about this topic the other day. Really, I have been thinking on it a lot in the past. And it is dinner etiquette.

When I invite someone out to dinner, I’m under the assumption that I am the one paying since I did the inviting. That is unless I want company for dinner then I will ask a friend if they are free and would like to go out. But we would have to go dutch treat. All of this is planned out before we go out to dinner.

My friend Lisa and I knows how it works. Maybe it is because we are from the Midwest or just raised differently. Not sure though. But we end up switching off and on. If one of us doesn’t have money, the other will offer to pay. It works out. She knows that if I call her to see if she wants to get something to eat, I pay and vice versa. It is the same way with my daughters and my brother in law. It isn’t all put on one person all the time.

But what about those people who want to go out to eat and they assume that I should be the one paying, no matter what. I have seen this happen quite often and it isn’t just about one person expecting, but almost seems as if they feel entitled. If I don’t have the money, I simply say I have no money and then comes the I don’t either. Well!!! Now if they had no money, why would they be calling me to go out to dinner? I have come up with the conclusion it is because they are hungry and have no money and don’t want to cook. Or maybe they are just lazy. Who knows? But it isn’t just one person, I think it is a mindset of many people. And it doesn’t happen to just me, but many.

Paying Restaurant Bill With A Credit CardI’m blown away by conversations in restaurants and other places when it comes to picking up the tab. Actually, I think it is downright rude on so many levels. I assume that if I am invited out to dinner, the other person is paying, unless they state it will be dutch. As long as I know what is going on and what I need. When inviting someone to go out to dinner and the person has no intention of paying for theirs and assuming the other has unlimited cash is in my opinion selfish and not cool at all. If they are wanting to hang out, then go to the persons house, don’t expect the invitee to foot the bill when they are the ones wanting to go.

My suggestion would be that if the person who wants to go to dinner doesn’t have the money to go, then don’t expect others to pay because the person wants to go eat.. If they are looking for company, then ask the person if it is OK to come over and talk. Maybe they need a friend or someone to talk to. I personally don’t have a problem with inviting friends over that needs a listening ear. And I don’t mind cooking either. I would never turn anyone away that is hungry or in need. But at the same time, it is costly to be expected to pay for someones meal when I wasn’t the one wanting to go out to begin with.

There are times when Chuck and I go out and we have others with us. We have enough cash for us, but not for everyone. We always tell them in advance that we are going to dinner after the movie, church or whatever. If they want to go with, they are more than welcome, but they would have to pay for themselves. It isn’t rude and they have the option to go or not go. Most people know I’m not made out of money and I never won the lottery.

I know there has to be a rule book or etiquette rule for things like this. I did look this up because my brain likes to know if there is a actual rule for this. And there is a whole host of information on this topic. And a lot of rules depending on if it is a business dinner, date night, get together with friends and so on.

  • If you are going out to dinner with other friends, it is OK to split the check. But make sure you are clear on how the bill will be handled so it doesn’t become awkward and the elephant in the room. This should be decided prior to ordering.
  • If it is corporate meeting, then it should be the business that picks up the check. They can make arrangements with the restaurant prior to dinner and give the credit card number and information so it doesn’t become an issue.
  • If you are going out with a group of people, separate checks is best and that would be considered dutch treat. Each person is responsible for their own meal and drinks.
  • If you were invited to dinner tradition dictates that the one who did the inviting typically pays for the meal.

P.S. I do want to add one thing to going out to dinner etiquette. Please turn off the cell phones while we are eating. If someone wants to talk and text on the phone, they should be doing it somewhere else. Its a pain in the neck when you are out eating and those with you are more interested in texting or talking to others. They might as well have not gone at all if that’s what they want to do. It is extremely rude when you are with friends and family and it is rude to those that are trying to have a nice dinner. They don’t want to hear your conversations and I know I don’t.

Injecting Snake Venom

Venomous SnakesInjecting snake venom is insane. I just watched part of a video about this guy who has been injecting venom into himself for right around 20 yrs. I couldn’t watch all of the video because it made me cringe. I’m not a big lover of snakes and even more so those who can kill ya. Who in their right mind would inject themselves with snake venom from rattlesnakes, vipers and so on. To me that is nuts. But then like other things, my mind gets to wondering on stupid things and snakes.

My brain began reeling on the thought of how humans from the beginning of time has made stupid choices that put our lives at risk. I can’t help but think about how Adam and Eve was deceived by the serpent. HELLOOOOOOOOO!!! You would think we would learn to not play around with deadly snakes that want to kill us. But guys like this makes me shake my head and wonder what brain cells he is using.

It doesn’t have to be a venomous snake to do us in. It can be just about anything like eating, drinking, smoking, lying, cheating and almost everything else. Shoot anymore even breathing can get ya killed in some areas. I guess when I think about my stupid things that could have killed me. And thankfully I’m still here and not because of my own doing, but because of God’s grace.

Willcox Dry Lakes- Playa

As a girl that was basically raised in the 70’s and doing things I know better than, I’m surprised. Some of those bad choices were hitch-hiking across the country. Well, not the country, but about 1400 miles. Then I somehow survived the dry lakes in Willcox Az. We would go out to the dry lakes and do what is called donuts. But we upped the anti and would sit on the hood of the trucks while it was doing the donuts. And hoping to hold on until the truck came to a stop. Obviously I held on because I am here now. Then there was the one and only time I drank too much. I learned that drinking was NO fun at all when you are getting sick out of a car as it is going down the mountain.So, my question to myself is the guy injecting snake venom any different than my bad choices? Information on the Dry Lakes aka Willcox Playa is at the bottom of the page.

godrefuge2-e1332079669381I do believe without a doubt that it is only God that saved me from my stupidity. Being a teenager is no excuse for being stupid. God must have had a much bigger plan for my life because so much could have gone wrong.

Now when I moved to Texas and moved in with my now husband. I ended up with Guillian Barre Syndrome. GBS is an auto-immune disease that caused me to be paralyzed for close to a year and I still have residuals from this. They actually changed my diagnosis to the chronic form of GBS called What is Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy (CIDP). I included the description of CIPD at the bottom of this blog.

I do believe that when I ended up with this, it halted my wild days. I was only 17 at the time and Chuck and I did get married and still are. The reason I say that is that I couldn’t smoke or I wouldn’t be able to breath. I had to concentrate on what is important and not on all the things I wanted to do or the troubles I would have gotten into. There is no way I would wish this on anyone. But I do think that if I was left to my own devices, things could and would be different now.

I know without a doubt that it is only God that saved me from my stupidity. Being a teenager is no excuse for being stupid and taking risks. God must have had a much bigger plan for my life because so much could have gone wrong. And since God saved me from myself, I have wonderful daughters, grand-kids and blessings that cannot be counted. I really like the verse Luke 22:31-33 when I think about how God has a way of protecting us from ourselves and from Satan.

  • Luke 22:31-33: And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren. And he said unto him, Lord, I am ready to go with thee, both into prison, and to death.

When the trials become the hardest, Jesus’ disciples will remember that he predicted their struggle. They will have hope in their darkness, and will again see the Light of Life. When Peter relies on his own strength,  his strength is an illusion. But in persecution, Peter learns to rely on God’s forgiveness and God’s strength. In his weakness, he finds strength. And then that strength becomes a vital source of strength to many others around him. We need to be relying on God, not snake venom to help us feel stronger. I can’t help but wonder what this guy is trying to run away from when he injects himself with venom. And I pray that God protects him from himself.

Today, as I was watching the video on the snake venom guy, I hope he has a wake up call. He may not think anything is or will happen to him. But one day he may find there is no going back. You can only test fate for so long before something is going to happen. When he makes a comment to a commenter he says that playing with death is the best way to live life. I can’t even begin to understand that comment. I do think that we should live our lives like this would be our last. But that doesn’t mean that we need to inject venom into our bodies just to get a euphoric feeling and to feel less fear. I would think that when we have fear it is our bodies way of telling us not to do something. Click here to watch the video – Snake phobics beware. There is snakes all over the place in this video.

willcoxmapWillcox Dry Lakes aka Willcox Playa– You CANNOT go out onto the Willcox Playa. It is controlled by the military. It is dangerous, many unexploded shells and various ammunition. After 50 years, some of it may not be dangerous, but some is extremely unstable, say military authorities.

Willcox Playa doesn’t draw many crowds. Visitors reviews vary wildly, from bleak and in hospitable where dust devils slither along teeming with life dawns break cold, clear and full of life. Even in Arizona, known for its stark contrasts, this flat expanse of valley floor is a landscape of radical extremes. But many visitors to Willcox Playa find its natural history surprisingly rich, an extraordinary geologic setting that supports hundreds of bird and other species.

Chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy (CIDP) is a neurological disorder characterized by progressive weakness and impaired sensory function in the legs and arms. The disorder, which is sometimes called chronic relapsing polyneuropathy, is caused by damage to the myelin sheath (the fatty covering that wraps around and protects nerve fibers) of the peripheral nerves. Although it can occur at any age and in both genders, CIDP is more common in young adults, and in men more so than women. It often presents with symptoms that include tingling or numbness (beginning in the toes and fingers), weakness of the arms and legs, loss of deep tendon reflexes (areflexia), fatigue, and abnormal sensations. CIDP is closely related to Guillain-Barre syndrome and it is considered the chronic counterpart of that acute disease.