My sister Joyce and I were outside talking tonight about forgiveness. The reason we were talking about this is because of things that she has done in her past and she feels she needs to face those demons and wrong doings and ask for forgiveness. She knows that for her to move forward in her walk with Christ that she needs to do this.
When she lived here in St. George a number of years back she left in the middle of the night and never told anyone. There were a lot of hurt feelings over it. My daughters love her and my grand-kids loved her too. I don’t know why she left like she did, but it was painful for my family because of our love for her. Thinking back to each of the times she disappeared into the night, I think she was really running for the hurts of her past. She gets close to people and she is afraid she is going to get close to them and they will abandon her. So she abandons first.
Joyce is at a place in her life right now where she needs to be stable and stop running. Asking for forgiveness is difficult for her, but she feels she has to ask. Even if the other party doesn’t accept her plea for forgiveness, she needs to do that.
I have forgiven her a long time ago. She came to me and I know that I have no choice but to forgive and love her. God has forgiven me so many times and if I expect to be forgiven of my sins, I know I must forgive others. No matter what happened, it is necessary.
The Bible is very clear on the subject of forgiveness. We are all sinners and God promises forgiveness if we honestly ask and repent.
- Luke 23:43 “…Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” (Jesus speaking to the thief on the cross)
- Ephesians 4:31-32 – Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
- Luke 6:36-37 – Therefore be merciful, even as your Father is also merciful. Don’t judge, and you won’t be judged. Don’t condemn, and you won’t be condemned. Set free, and you will be set free.
The reason I bring up the verses I did is that we are commanded to forgive. If we don’t forgive, we are told we won’t be forgiven. It can be incredibly difficult to acknowledge you have done wrong and to face those things. I have to give her credit for wanting to ask each person that she has wronged for forgiveness.
It does bother me when those who profess to be a Christian can’t or won’t forgive. I am SOOOOOOOO thankful that I have received forgiveness for the things I have done. I’m pretty sure the list is very long and some things I may not even remember. I do pray that some will open their hearts and willing to forgive the past.
My sister is trying to make a new start and do what is right. If she isn’t given a chance to do that and things are held against her, how is she suppose to move forward?
For those unwilling to forgive, I would just like to leave you with this last Bible verse; Put on therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, humility, and perseverance; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do. Col 3:12-13.
I understand how hard it can be to unconditionally forgive someone. Friends have done things that hurt and so has family. For my own personal growth and understanding the importance of forgiveness I knew I needed to forgive them too.
Joyce has done a lot of things and yes, things have came back to bite me in the hinney. But no matter what she does, I know in my heart that she didn’t make the choices she made to hurt others. She was hurting herself. Joyce has had a very hard life full of mostly downs and people using her. She never fully understood that it was OK to let people into her life and that she is worth loving. She didn’t really know that God loves her so much that He sent His Son to die for her. Since she didn’t love herself, why would anyone else. Which is far far from the truth. Joyce will always make bad choices in her life. But, we all will do the same. Not one of us is perfect and without sin.
If you read this post, just know that I love you and I forgive you for the things that you have done. I love you unconditionally. God loves you more than anyone ever could and it is OK to be who you are and let your guard down or should I say wall. If people don’t want to forgive, that is their choice and they are loosing out on having you in their lives.
2 thoughts on “Forgiving Joyce”
Goodmorning it is 6:18 the tears of joy and gratitude for the acceptance roll down my face Sandi I thank you for this blog but more than that I thank you for your foregiveness as my heavenly father has foregiven me I have foregiven myself, for the first time in my life at 48 i can without a doubt know I love and care what happens to Joyce and yes this is a much needed path for me to take in my walk with the Lord my entire being is filled with joy knowing that YesJesus does love me and that after all these years I have finally let him in,I will never let him go either,yes you are right on alot of the reasoning for my leaving, however when we have another heart to heart I will tell you the final reason, I love you Sandi and Thankyou for all you support@ kindness but most of all your foregiveness and unconditional love you are truely a blessing not only to me but to all those around you I LOVE YOU
Thanks for reading my post Joyce. I’m glad that you weren’t upset by my words.
I do know the reason you were upset and I knew that the incident that happened when Bridgette was graduating and her mom our sister was here to see her graduate was a difficult week. I should have handled that right. I guess at the time I was more worried about not having blows and fists flying around since it was the first time that Bridgette seen Denise. It was also the first time that her dad was in town and I didn’t want to have fighting going on since it was Bridgette’s special moment.
I am very sorry that I excluded you from the activities and allowed Denise to call the way things went on. I can promise you this that it will never happen again. I know that you were very hurt because I was put in the situation of keeping you and Denise apart. Because of that, it meant that it was my fault that I didn’t include you in the festivities of that week. You didn’t deserve that at all and it will never happen again. I thought I handled it right by keeping you and Denise apart, but I realize and I did at that time also that it wasn’t fair to you because you love Bridgette just as much as I love her. And for this, I do apologize to you. I treated you or allowed Denise, Randy and others to exclude you, when you never should have been. Denise was at my house and I allowed it to happen. I still to this day feel bad on how I handled that and I hope you accept my heartfelt apology for that.
For those who read this followup comment. What happened was that my sister Joyce was renting a studio apartment from us. It was attached to our home. I was raising my niece Bridgette since she was 13 I think. But she was with me since she started the 9th grade. Bridgette was graduating from high school and it was the first time since she left home that she seen her mom. There was no contact with her mom for many reasons which include drugs and men. Bridgette was getting ready to graduate and her graduation was the first time in over 4 years that she seen her mom. It was the first time her dad came to St. George to see her. My sister Denise told me that if she seen Joyce she was going to have words and it wasn’t going to be pretty. So I talked to Joyce about staying at her home in hopes of them not seeing each other. My sister Denise was upset with Joyce because when they lived in North Carolina Joyce dropped Denise off at a homeless shelter because of all the fighting and things my sister Denise was doing. I back the decision that Joyce made. But family wise, it caused problems for Denise. Joyce was right in what she did and she had many good reasons for it. But as many may know, it wasn’t a good thing have the two decking each other when the time was about Bridgette graduating.
I should have told Denise that if she had a problem, it might be wiser for her to stay in a hotel. But I didn’t and I was wrong in that. It was a long 5 days and for Joyce, I am sure it was even longer and made her feel like she wasn’t part of the family and that she was an outsider. And for this I am sorry.