Have you ever thought about how you want to be remembered when you die?
With all the things going on with my mom and family. I got thinking about this when my sisters and I were discussing if there would be a memorial service for my mom when she passes away from cancer. I had to look really deep into my heart and gut as I was thinking about what kind of a service would we have. Usually when I have attended funerals they have it where those who came would talk about how the person was during their lives and things the deceased person enjoyed doing.
One of the funerals that sticks in my mind is a funeral that Kelly Mzik did for one of the church members at Oasis Church. When I went to that I really got a good feel for who the lady was. People talked about how strong her faith was in Christ. The service was filled with music, laughter, joy and a message of hope. Then one of the other funerals that was our church was for Bob Morganti. His family was there and Bob had a full and loving life. Anyone at the service knew that he was loved and he loved his family. As I was thinking of the many funerals I have been to, I realized that it would be hard to do one for my mom. The reason I say this is because growing up, our parents never really put anyone first. Us kids didn’t have a relationship like many families do. As I was making notes on what to do for a service, I come up empty handed. My parents have always caused division in our lives. They never allowed us to talk to anyone outside of the family about the abuse. They would do what they could to make sure they were taken care of, even if that meant they would be throwing anyone under the bus. People who want to help are chased away and the police are called. Most people have pretty much left. Nobody can handle the violence. Mom isn’t close to anyone and in a Christian way, I don’t know where my mom is at.
When I ask around to see if it is possible to do a service for my mom, I get doors slammed and they refuse to even go to one. I have a feeling, we will just have to do a family dinner. The sad thing though is that when I say a family dinner, it means 3 of us eating together since nobody can get along. As I think of what could be said and shared about the things that I loved about my mom and sharing stories, I can’t think of much to say. I can say I love my mom, but I would have a hard time trying to share the good things on how she was an awesome and loving mom. I’m sure somewhere, she loved me and my sisters. Her actions never showed that though. But, as I was thinking about her, I began thinking about what would others say about me when I die. Would they feel that I wasn’t a good mom, wife, friend and a Christian.
As I think about what it is that I would like to be remembered for, I do have a list of those things. Here is my top ten answers.
- The first thing I would want to be remembered for is my faith in Christ. My relationship with Christ is the most important relationship in my life.
- I want to be remembered as a mom who isn’t perfect, and that I love my children and family, even when I majorly flub up.
- I want to be remembered for being a kind, compassionate person.
- I want to be remembered for helping others.
- I want to be remembered for being a good friend
- I want to be remembered for not being afraid to stand up for what I believe in.
- I want to be remembered for being a good cool that uses love as the main ingredient.
- I want to be remembered for being non selfish.
- I want to be remembered for being sacrificial which means to give of myself, even if I do without.
- I want to be remembered for making a difference to animals. I may not change the world for too many, but the ones I do help, I would hope that I made a difference to them.
I want to cover what is the most important thing I want to be remembered for, and that is my faith. This is a pretty deep subject and most of the times, people don’t want to think about what it is going to be like when we are gone. I have decided that this is a good time to post my thoughts on this topic since Memorial Day is right around the corner. Memorial Day is a day that is set apart for us to pay respect and to honor those who gave their lives so that we can be free. We must remember that “freedom is never free”. Someone pays the price for our freedom. The price for our freedom is blood that has been shed. There is a show that I love to watch. It is called “Once Upon a Time”. One of the characters explains to those in the town of Storybook that everything comes with a price.
In the same way, we must never forget that Jesus who is the Son of God paid the price by dying on the cross and He became the sacrificial lamb by shedding His blood for me and for you. We were dead in sin and we had no hope of going to Heaven since God doesn’t allow sin in Heaven. Jesus shed His innocent blood for us. It is the only way we can receive grace and mercy and be set free.
There is no way of knowing how long we will live. “Man does not know his time” (Ecclesiastes 9:12). No one know what tomorrow may bring. As I sit here typing late at night, I have my own list of things I need to do. Perhaps I will get them done. Perhaps God has other plans for me. There are no guarantees that I will even be alive 24 hours from now. The Dr’s can give us a time table, but there is no guarantees. Death will come to all of us sooner or later. I have had doctors give me a horrible prognosis and the look on their faces breaks my heart. It isn’t because of what they told me, but because they don’t understand that even though we all reach the end of our life in this world, that because of God’s love and faithfulness. When we die, God promises live on. Our body (vessel) is buried when we die, but God’s promises are not buried with us. God is there for our children, grandchildren and so on.I don’t fear death because I know that death is not the end but the beginning because I am a children of God.
I was taking a class at Dixie Collage here in my town. It is now a university, but when I went, it was still a community college. For one of my classes we were asked to write our obituary and to write our own biography. If you have never done that, it is an eye opener and was difficult for me to do. In the obituary, you can only have so many lines and words. As I was writing my own obituary, I realized that I didn’t really know me. I had no clue what to write about myself in a third person kind of way. As I was writing it, I wanted to be sure to use this as an opportunity to share God and the blessings as in family that He has given me. In my obituary, I stated that my faith isn’t just a for now thing, it is a choice that has changed my life. If we put God first, our lives are full. Not saying that you won’t stumble and fall. Shoot, I have fallen a lot, but I get back up. Even though I will die, I want to those I love and for generations to come know that when we called to live our lives for God and honor Him, we are blessed.
In closing I just want to add a question for you all. And that question is, “What do you want to be remembered for?“
2 thoughts on “What Will You Be Remembered For?”
I have finally been able to read this blog, and Sandie, I’m having trouble seeing the keyboard for the tears. Tears for the sadness I feel regarding your growing up years. Tears for the tribute you’ve given to Bob. I wish I had some profound words of wisdom to offer regarding the memorial for your mother, but I don’t. I know God will give you the answer, for you have great faith and
trust in Him.
Thiis is just my humble opinion: You don’t have to be concerned as to how you will be remembered, girl!
Your comments about obituaries got me to thinking about my own. I was stumped, so I will just have to leave that to my family.
I figure people will remember me for being opinionated and having no issue with speaking my mind on my faith and a lot of other things. Yeah, I have no answers either when it comes to a service for my parents. I loved the tribute that your family did for Bob. Anyone that knows you and your family and was at the service would know he was a man after Gods own heart and very loved.