Where is God?


Over the last month, I have gotten into a number of conversations about my faith and most of the time, they ask me why do I still trust that God is there for me since I still have serious medical diagnosis’. It’s hard to put into words at times.  In my heart it is very simple. I know that God is always there for me, no matter what.

A couple of my friends have asked me why it is that they feel abandoned by God and why does He seem so far away when they need Him the most. There was a time in my life when I felt that God was silent.  I would have to say that during the moments are silence I felt even further from Him. The quieter He became, it was as if my trials and tribulations were at their worse.

1169431421I don’t know if there are many out there that have the mind-set that God could easily take care of the situation and tell us what to do. Wouldn’t life be so much easier if God would sweep in like Jeannie from “I Love Jeannie” and make everything good. Just a twitch of the nose and all is well in the world. But, that wouldn’t be a good thing to happen because we need to go through these trials and tribulations. I would have to say that they are more of a “trial of faith”.

I find it really sad that some of those who claim that God isn’t listening and they truly believe that God isn’t there for them anymore. One person actually feels that there is no God and that God has to prove it to them that He is real. I find that sad since they are sitting in church and listening to the sermon and yet, they feel that there is no God or that God has to prove Himself to them.

My health seems to come up a lot during these type of conversations. They reason why is because they don’t understand how I can still trust in the Lord and at the same time be thankful for what He has given me.

We are told in Romans 15:4-6;

 For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.

For some reasons mankind has this crazy idea that God needs to hurry up and do things our way. God is very patient with His people and I would think we need to be patient with Him. Throughout the Bible everything has been written down so that we can learn. Because of what was written we can find encouragement and hope.

I have had my friend Lisa and my sister Joyce on my heart lately, but for different reasons, well, somewhat.

785ab246e5d22dd4e86c36336dccf801My friend Lisa is moving away because she hates it in Utah. She has a tremendous amount of faith in God. I don’t worry about her walk with Christ. What I do worry about is how she has lost her hope and she has given up on happiness in a way. She has had a great deal of depression and isn’t happy. I don’t know if she is going to find happiness where she is moving, but I know she has to give it a try. I would like to tell Lisa that God loves her and I love her.

I totally get how life can and does produce some harsh storms. But, you can survive these storms by taking shelter under sturdy walls and structures. My verse I say all the time has helped me weather these storms.  As we go though these storms and trials, we may feel overwhelmed by the “stuff in our lives. There are times we may feel there is no place to run and hide.  But, let’s remember that God does offer us protection and emotional safety. “My verse is a promise from God and I rely on that promise daily.

Psalms 46:1- God is our refuge and strength, ever-present in times of trouble. 

Psalm 55:1  Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me!  For my soul trusts in You; And in the shadow of Your wings I will take my refuge, until these calamities have passed by.  (NKJV)

3223390I would also like to my sister Joyce to understand that she too can find hope and rest in Jesus Christ. We need to cover ourselves with the Armour of God each and every day of our lives.  I know Joyce that you are feeling like there is nothing for you in this life. I hear in your voice how you want to give up and quit. God knows what your hope and dreams are, all you have to do is be willing to listen and wait for Him to answer. I know it may seem like a long time, but He will speak if you allow Him to. You may not like the answer, but it is important to do if you ever want any form of happiness and hope.


 (Ephesians 6:10-20) I then quietly settle my thinking and focus on donning the helmet of salvation; the breastplate of righteousness and the belt of truth.  I ‘place’ the shoes of the gospel of peace on my feet and pick up the shield of faith and the sword of the spirit, take a deep breath and then begin my day again; this time with right thinking and with God’s purpose. Read More… 


I can’t even count how many times people have asked me about how can I not be angry at God for making me sick. At first I would get angry when they would ask me this question. The reason why I would get angry is that I have no anger at God about it. I don’t believe that God gives us bad things. I do believe that God has a way of using bad things in our lives to make us stronger and all things work out in the end.

What I have come to realize is that I have a lifetime of experiences and trials. Because of my trials, I have been able to comfort others who have and are going through the same heavy loads. My hardships have brought meaning to my life and I hope my words help and encourage others.

(2 Corinthians 1:4) “(God) comforts us in all our tribulation that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

Performing Math Calculations at ChalkboardI have always had this problem of making things harder than they should be. When I was in elementary school, my math teacher would have us come to the front to do a problem. We had to show the class how we came up with the answer. While they were already done, I was still working on the math problem. After a few minutes I was done. I had the right answer, but I made it harder than it should have been. I feel that life is that way. Sometimes the things in our life are harder than they should be. We stress over everything little thing. What we should be doing instead is laying it at the feet of Jesus and believe that He will guide us in the right direction.

I would like to say to my friend Lisa, Joyce and everyone else, myself included that things will work out. Everything will fall into place just like God has planned it out to be. Everything will work out according to Gods will, if you will just give it all to Him. I would say He is can handle it better than we can.

I think I am going to close this post down by offering this prayer and if others would like to pray it, you are more than welcome.

Heavenly Father, I am more than guilty of wanting to do things my way and in my time. While I work at handing everything over to you, my willpower has a way of getting in the way. Lord, Jesus, I pray that you help me be aware of your presence in my life. Thank you for watching over me and watching over those who are facing hardships and difficult trials. Lord, Jesus, help me turn everything over to you, which would include the good, the bad and the ugly.

Lord, Jesus, while my intentions are good, I find that I get caught up in the storms of life. Help me seek You above anything and anyone else. Lord, Jesus, I also pray for Lisa who is facing some pretty difficult days. My desire is for her to stay here, but that may not be the right thing for her. You know what is right and you already have her life’s book written out. My prayer for her is to seek you first, which I know she does. I pray that she listens to what you are putting on her heart.

I know Lord, Jesus that this is a bit of a long prayer, longer than I thought it would be. But, I pray for my sister Joyce. I get the sense that she is lost in the world. I am worried about he happiness. She is stubborn and has a tendency to just jump ship when she gets close to people. I have been worried about her mental health and I worry about where she is living. Lord, I pray she finds the joy, peace and her place in the world.

In Jesus’s Name I pray, Amen


This is a good devotional to read. It answers the question of “Where is God” 

High School Slave Day/Initiation Day

I was having a conversation with a friend that I went to high school with on Facebook and she asked me if I liked high school because she still carry’s some sad and horrible times.
I told her that even though I liked many of the people I went to school with, I didn’t enjoy it because of the clicks. I got along with just about any group. After what happened to my friend and a few others, I did rethink some of my friendships. I couldn’t understand how some of my more popular friends thought it was OK to target the less popular, which were also my friends. I sided obviously with the less popular and cut out the ones who were shallow and hateful. Anyhow,  she asked me about how I felt and how certain things still cause her anxiety.
Willcox High School

She was talking about Freshman Slave Day and Initiation day. I went to Willcox High School in Willcox, AZ. The upper class-man would literally have a slave auction where they would sell the freshman students to the highest bidder. The slave would have to do everything the master would have them do. I was bought by a friend, but she wasn’t. I was glad my friend bought me and I never had to do anything. But, that was not what happened to most of the students.

One student was wearing a chain around his neck after the auction. There were a number of students that were walking around wearing diapers. A number of them had tears in their eyes. They felt they had to participate or they would be treated badly by those that were more popular.  The way I see it is that it is a popularity contest. I don’t know where the money went to. I’m sure it went to the school for something.

Since she didn’t get bought she would have to go through an initiation. So, the student body or who ever it was, would call out the names of those students who didn’t get bought and they would be shamed in front of the entire school during an assembly.

I have to say that after that assembly, something changed. It was like a switch went on. She was humiliated and had to dress like a dog and lap up water from a bowl and she was instructed to crawl on all 4s. To this day, I remember what happened. Just because she wasn’t popular, she was humiliated. I don’t understand how the teachers, principals and employees allowed that to happen.
This is NOT my high school. I just wanted to demonstrate how horrible it would be to be initiated in front of this many fellow students. It was humiliating for many students that were made a laughing-stock in front of everyone.

When she was called up, lets say I was not very happy. I told her that those who called her name had no right to humiliate her by calling her in front of the entire class, teachers, principles and so on. I told her to just sit there and don’t listen or walk out. I would walk out with her. Those around me could hear what I was telling her. A couple were saying it isn’t a big deal, hmmmm… If they tried to do that to me, I can guarantee you that they would have all heard about it, right then and there.  I would have been one of those leading pickets and forming demonstrations. My friend told me that she would just do it since it would be worse for her if she didn’t.

Little did those who were laughing at those who were put on display know that my friend went home and seriously thought about suicide. She felt she was lesser than anyone else. She also seen counselors for many years because of this event. Some people may say that she shouldn’t have taken it so seriously and I would wonder what those people would think if it happened to them. Imagine having to go in front of 100’s of classmates and humiliated.
ropeI didn’t see this as a fun thing at all. What I seen was the tears and the fears of those who knew they would be called up during the assembly. I remember the tears from the boy who had to change his cloths so he can put on his gym shorts and made to climb a rope that went from the ceiling to the floor. Another rope was tethered to his shorts, so the higher he went, the lower his shorts would become. I don’t have to say what happened there and yet the student body was allowed to continue this disgraceful act.
When I was talking to my friend, she said what she had to deal with has haunted her. I told her that even though I didn’t get called to the gym floor to be initiated, I have always remembered that assembly also. Whenever I think about it, I get steamed. I have never seen such a display of anti-humanism first hand. Well, on the news, it is all over the place.
I think it’s a little insensitive to have something like that, because of the history and because a lot of wounds have not yet healed.” I get that some of these activities aren’t meant to be racist or mean-spirited, either way, there are some like me who react to it and I find it insensitive.
My niece Christina and her husband Fei(?Spelling)… They have awesome kids.

I was talking to my niece about this and was having her go over my blog to make sure it sounded right. And she pointed out something that I never really think about because it is just part of my life. In my family, I would say that we are a melting pot. I have family members that are Hispanic, Indian, black, white and mixed. I have had seemingly close friends come up to me and they want to share a funny joke about one race or another. They automatically assume that because I am white, that they have a right to tell me jokes about other races. Let me say that they did NOT get the reaction they were looking for. And, let me say, they are no longer friends. I want to thank Christina was reading this and pointing out that I should share that we are a blended family. And I know I am a Christian and I want to say that this is one of those topics that makes me want to reach out and touch someone. So, I would hope that people don’t mess with my family. The color of someones skin has nothing to do with who they are as a person. Just Saying!!! I may get mad at those in my family, but I would hope nobody else would hurt a family member just because they married someone that is black or any other race.

I have wondered if schools still do the slave days and the initiation days and I was surprised that some schools still do this. Just google it or go to youtube. I was shocked to see how many still does this. For those who thinks this is a fun activity, remember that there are those who don’t. Being a slave is nothing to laugh at. I am all for discussing slavery, but not in a demeaning manner like this and like how schools are still doing.
32964532-modern-day-slavery-a-look-at-human-trafficking-0000-jpgI would like to touch on modern-day slaves.  Not many may be aware that it is happening all over the world. Human trafficking is the trade of humans, most commonly for the purpose of forced labor, sexual slavery, or commercial sexual exploitation for the trafficker or others.  There is a movie that recently came out that I absolutely love and I bought it on Amazon. It is called Priceless. One of the singers from King and Country is in the movie and the main character.  Human trafficking is a crime against the person because of the violation of the victim’s rights. Human trafficking is the trade in people, and does not necessarily involve the movement of the person from one place to another.
Here is an article from KSL which is a Utah based news station since I live in Utah.

Call the National Human Trafficking Resource Center

1-888-373-7888 or text BeFree (233733)

to report sex trafficking, forced labor, or to get help

According to the Center of Missing and Exploited Children there are currently about 300,000 under age children who are victims of human trafficking

OK, now I am going to get back to the purpose of this blog. I will be doing my next blog on human trafficking, so watch for it.

This is real slaves and they really suffered – they don’t deserve to be mocked
I will provide some links that are based on what slaves really went through and how it is NOT a laughing matter. There is nothing funny about being a slave.
Real Slaves- No Laughing Matter

Thinking About My Mom

My mom died almost 2 yrs ago. I know she is in a better place, but even knowing that, I still feel like she should be here.

My mom- Winnie Elder

The last time I seen her was APRIL 23, 2015. Mom passed away on August 21st 2015. if you would like to read her obituary that I wrote, you can click here to read more about my mom.

Today while I was watching TV this commercial came on that I probably read way to much into it. But it was about a little girl who is guilt tripping her parents into hiring a maid to clean their house so her parents can give her 100 percent of their attention. She made sure to mention that she is cute also But, while I was watching it, I started thinking about my mom and how I was raised. If you want to read that blog and my thoughts, it is the post right before this one.

Stock Photo- Child standing on a drawer to reach the sink. 

Like I said, I was thinking about my mom when this commercial came on. I was thinking about how the first time I did dishes on my own I was around 4 or 5. It’s so long ago, so, I am guessing at my age. I had to step on an old wooden crate so I could reach the faucet. My parents were gone and I wanted to show them that I can do dishes now. I was so proud of myself. You would have thought I just won a huge prize since I was so happy that I could do them and I did them alone. That was somewhat short-lived since I just proved to them that I could do dishes, so guess who got to do KP duty? Yeppers, it was me.


As I was remembering how I could do dishes and soon after I was doing other chores in the house and in the yard. I’m pretty sure I grumbled a lot since I hated doing house work I was more athletic and that is what I chose to do and didn’t get to unless I finished my chores. There were 5 kids in our family and I was stuck in the middle. We only had one boy in the family. We all thought he could and did get away with anything and everything. Here is a list of chores I did when I was under the age of 10.

  1. do dishes
  2. hang clothes on the close line since we had no dryer
  3. help make dinner if she needed help
  4. fold clothes
  5. clean the bathroom
  6. vacuum and dust usually on Saturdays. My mom would make us vacuum in this weird pattern. i guess she wanted to make sure we did it right.
  7. feed and water the dogs
  8. rake the yard and pull weeds if needed
  9. and more…
I lived in this house when I was a teenager. If you look at the window that has the shorter green shrub, that was my bedroom. I escaped out of that window many times, lol. 

My favorite chore was helping my mom plant flowers. She loved roses. Her favorite color is the yellow ones. She would come home from the nursery in Willcox AZ. with flats of flowers. While I hated digging in the dirt and pulling weeds, I loved it when I got to help with the flowers. I would fake sleeping when it came to the weeds and digging. My sister Joyce also helped and loved it. Those were our favorite memories when it comes to actually spending time with mom. My husband and I along with my sister went past our old house in Willcox and it was a sad moment. My mom had one of the most beautiful yards, now it is far from pretty. Before we moved into this house/trailer, it looked like this.

I can’t help but smile when I see yellow roses. I have one that just bloomed the other day. I was talking to my mom and 12916726_10206172453127124_5914870141287867297_oasked God to send me a message about if my mom is doing good and to tell her hi and that I love her. Usually when I ask for a sign, I ask for a cool breeze that would be strong. He took me literally. It was just the other day when I asked. I knew a storm was coming, so I was pretty sure it would be windy. When I started my conversation the wind was calm as can be. Then all of a sudden the wind came roaring in like a lion. The temperature drastically dropped. I grabbed my camera to take a video of the storm. You can hear the thunder and the wind was enough to knock me over.

As I was videoing the storm, I turned to my left and I seen the one and only yellow rose bloom. It still wasn’t opened when I got home around 3 and at that moment it started to open. It was such a surreal moment. You can see the yellow rose waving hi in the wind. If you want to see the video for the wind, here is the video with the sole yellow rose. I would also like to say that about 5 minutes after I took this video, the wind stopped where I live at. It was still wrecking havoc in and around our area, but it stopped blowing on the side of town I live on.

11188407_10204158546460716_1046143011769713906_nThe last time I seen my mom, we were planting purple and white daisy’s that I bought for her. Even though she went home to the Lord shortly after, she still wanted to plant them. I was a bit leary on where she planted them since I am sure there were tons of sliders there. She just wipes them away and I run away, lol. She took my hand and we walked over to where her prized roses are. When I was talking to her hospice social worker, he was saying how he could see such a difference in her level of joy when she strolls out by where the roses are.

I do miss my mom and wish she was answering her phone. Mom and I have always had a different kind of relationship. There were times when I wouldn’t call for years because of all of the stuff going on. But, the last visit and the many conversations we had before she passed are moments I will cherish forever.

Last video of my mom- I’m grateful I have this so I can remember her voice.

Before she passed, I was blessed by having conversations with her about knowing God and I was also able to talk to her about some of the things that bothered me when I was still at home and things in recent years.

Ephesians 1:7-10 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

It’s hard having conversations that were filled with pain that has been hidden in my heart for such a long time. I wanted to let her know that I have forgiven her for things that went on in our home. I won’t go into detail on here. But, there was a great deal that needed to be discussed and it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

one 14 6 baptism in the HSThe most important conversations we had been about being saved and about baptism. After our 90 minute conversation I felt at ease. She did end up getting baptized and my heart was happy. Mom was a new person after she got baptized.

My sister Joyce was down at my mom and dads. Joyce would hold the phone up to my moms ears and we would talk, well I would talk. Mom was in a coma for a few days before her graduation ceremony. She was graduating from this life and moving on to be with Jesus. I would turn on songs like, “Amazing Grace“, When the Roll is Called Up Yonder, some Charlie Pride and so on. Just a few minutes before she died I told her that she is going on. I told her about how beautiful it will be. If she thought he roses were awesome here, they are much more beautiful there. I also told her that Grandma and Grandpa will be there as well. I told her that I love her so very much and when I get there, she is going to have to show me around and show me her roses.

friedchilckenI want to thank you mom for teaching me life skills and how to plant roses. Thank you for teaching us how to make fried chicken.

I’m going to close this post by saying that if you have been hurt by someone, don’t take forever to talk to them. I lost a number of years because of stupid petty stuff with my parents. Some things were my fault and others not. Either way, holding grudges and not talking doesn’t accomplish anything. I have been there/done that. It’s not worth it. Talk about whatever it is and then enjoy life.

Colossians 3:13

13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Care.com Commercial- Thumbs Down

Children-doing-household-chores-clipartI was watching the care.com commercial. It has the little girl who is sitting at her table while her parents are cleaning the house. The commercial is a cleaning commercial and this little girl is saying. “she is growing up to fast for her parents to not be there”. The reason I am bringing this up is that this little girl is probably around 7 or so. Instead of her sitting there coloring in her coloring book, maybe she could get up and help her parents. I was doing chores when I was little and I would guess that many kids have and still does.

I went to go find the commercial that I am talking about and one commentor named Beverly wrote this;

Am I the only one who senses the wrong message being sent here? That parents should feel guilty about doing the housework on the weekends instead of ingratiating their kids? Wow, that’s such a bad message and guess what, I don’t buy it! Housekeeping, cleaning, cooking are all part of being a family. Involve children in and teach them how to perform the daily chores. Shame on you, Care.com.

This is how parents should be teaching their children. Not the child from the video 

I have no issue with people needing help, but for this girl or company to say that the parents should stop doing dishes and such just so they can sit there at the table so their daughter can have all of the attention kind of got to me. What if they didn’t have the money to spend all of this money on a maid? Would that mean that they don’t love their child/children.

Instead what parents should be teaching their child’s life skills such as cleaning, working outside, cooking and other things that will get them through life.

I remember the first time I did dishes. I think I was around 4 yrs old. I was so impressed that I could wash the dishes. Even though I had to stand on a wood crate to reach the sink. That feeling was fast to exit stage left though.  I didn’t realize my time of joy was about to go away since now they knew I could reach the sink with help and guess who got dish duty? Yep, me!

We also had to clean the house thoroughly every Saturday morning before we could do anything. One of the things that drove me crazy was how my mom would look at the patterns of the carpet to make sure we didn’t cheat at cleaning it. We would have to hang clothes on a real clothes line. We also had to cook. My mom did most of it and usually we had to help. But every now and then, it was on us. These are all things that children need to learn. Otherwise children will grow up thinking they are entitled and it is all about them. Well, that is happening now days. Each generation is worse in my opinion. I feel for the following one.

Even though I ended up hating the whole dish duty, taking out the trash and all the other things that most kids hate, it was things that I needed to do. Not all were bad though.

My mom loved flowers and roses. She had an incredibly green thumb. While I wasn’t fond of the whole gardening thing and such, I did enjoy learning how to plant flowers. She made sure to show us how to plant the roses and make sure there is a well around them so they can get enough water. She had the most enviable roses ever. All the neighbors would comment about her flowers. She also planted mums and all the other summer perennials.  Along with learning to plant and tend, you also had to learn to weed so the weeds didn’t kill and choke the flowers out.

I don’t know why this commercial stirred a negative reaction the way it has. For me, this girl may be cute, but she represents a selfish, self-centered child.  I think there are enough children now days that think it is all about them. I love children and my grandchildren. I will use my grandson JJ as an example.

My grandson JJ

JJ has this idea that he can’t do anything or he does everything and I mean EVERYTHING. lol. When it comes to him picking up his toys or his stuff. He will go on and on about how mean everyone is and how he is too little to pick up his stuff. But, when he is at my house he will through his things away and I don’t have to really argue with him about it. I asked JJ one day why it is that he doesn’t help at home and he feels he can’t do it. He said it is too hard. Meaning he has to many Legos and he leaves them all over. Meaning it is he, that leaves them. He also said that he knows he will get in trouble at my house if he doesn’t pick up his things or he doesn’t listen.  But, he doesn’t have to at his house, lol. At least with his mom he feels he doesn’t have to.

While JJ and other kids may stomp and throw a fit over having to do whatever chores they have to do and to clean up after themselves,  these are things they need to learn. I wonder how many kids watch the commercials or television programs where it has the parents being guilted into doing everything they want.

I know some may not like that I am bringing up Trump in this message. The reason I am bringing him up is that Trump and his wife have this theory that they let their son Barren do what ever it is that he wants to do. He can color on the walls, has his own schedule and is pretty much the one in charge of what he does. It isn’t just the Trumps, but there is this mentality from many parents all over the world. I don’t get it at all.

Parents should be parents. We are intrusted with raising them as God has intended. We aren’t their best friends. My daughters are my best friends. But, they are adults. When they were still at home, I was the parent. I beleive that all children should be respected and all children needs to be taught right from wrong.