My mom died almost 2 yrs ago. I know she is in a better place, but even knowing that, I still feel like she should be here.

The last time I seen her was APRIL 23, 2015. Mom passed away on August 21st 2015. if you would like to read her obituary that I wrote, you can click here to read more about my mom.

Today while I was watching TV this commercial came on that I probably read way to much into it. But it was about a little girl who is guilt tripping her parents into hiring a maid to clean their house so her parents can give her 100 percent of their attention. She made sure to mention that she is cute also But, while I was watching it, I started thinking about my mom and how I was raised. If you want to read that blog and my thoughts, it is the post right before this one.

Like I said, I was thinking about my mom when this commercial came on. I was thinking about how the first time I did dishes on my own I was around 4 or 5. It’s so long ago, so, I am guessing at my age. I had to step on an old wooden crate so I could reach the faucet. My parents were gone and I wanted to show them that I can do dishes now. I was so proud of myself. You would have thought I just won a huge prize since I was so happy that I could do them and I did them alone. That was somewhat short-lived since I just proved to them that I could do dishes, so guess who got to do KP duty? Yeppers, it was me.

 

As I was remembering how I could do dishes and soon after I was doing other chores in the house and in the yard. I’m pretty sure I grumbled a lot since I hated doing house work I was more athletic and that is what I chose to do and didn’t get to unless I finished my chores. There were 5 kids in our family and I was stuck in the middle. We only had one boy in the family. We all thought he could and did get away with anything and everything. Here is a list of chores I did when I was under the age of 10.

1. do dishes
2. hang clothes on the close line since we had no dryer
3. help make dinner if she needed help
4. fold clothes
5. clean the bathroom
6. vacuum and dust usually on Saturdays. My mom would make us vacuum in this weird pattern. i guess she wanted to make sure we did it right.
7. feed and water the dogs
8. rake the yard and pull weeds if needed
9. and more…

My favorite chore was helping my mom plant flowers. She loved roses. Her favorite color is the yellow ones. She would come home from the nursery in Willcox AZ. with flats of flowers. While I hated digging in the dirt and pulling weeds, I loved it when I got to help with the flowers. I would fake sleeping when it came to the weeds and digging. My sister Joyce also helped and loved it. Those were our favorite memories when it comes to actually spending time with mom. My husband and I along with my sister went past our old house in Willcox and it was a sad moment. My mom had one of the most beautiful yards, now it is far from pretty. Before we moved into this house/trailer, it looked like this.

 
I can’t help but smile when I see yellow roses. I have one that just bloomed the other day. I was talking to my mom and asked God to send me a message about if my mom is doing good and to tell her hi and that I love her. Usually when I ask for a sign, I ask for a cool breeze that would be strong. He took me literally. It was just the other day when I asked. I knew a storm was coming, so I was pretty sure it would be windy. When I started my conversation the wind was calm as can be. Then all of a sudden the wind came roaring in like a lion. The temperature drastically dropped. I grabbed my camera to take a video of the storm. You can hear the thunder and the wind was enough to knock me over.

As I was videoing the storm, I turned to my left and I seen the one and only yellow rose bloom. It still wasn’t opened when I got home around 3 and at that moment it started to open. It was such a surreal moment. You can see the yellow rose waving hi in the wind. If you want to see the video for the wind, here is the video with the sole yellow rose. I would also like to say that about 5 minutes after I took this video, the wind stopped where I live at. It was still wrecking havoc in and around our area, but it stopped blowing on the side of town I live on.

The last time I seen my mom, we were planting purple and white daisy’s that I bought for her. Even though she went home to the Lord shortly after, she still wanted to plant them. I was a bit leary on where she planted them since I am sure there were tons of sliders there. She just wipes them away and I run away, lol. She took my hand and we walked over to where her prized roses are. When I was talking to her hospice social worker, he was saying how he could see such a difference in her level of joy when she strolls out by where the roses are.

I do miss my mom and wish she was answering her phone. Mom and I have always had a different kind of relationship. There were times when I wouldn’t call for years because of all of the stuff going on. But, the last visit and the many conversations we had before she passed are moments I will cherish forever.

Last video of my mom- I’m grateful I have this so I can remember her voice.

Before she passed, I was blessed by having conversations with her about knowing God and I was also able to talk to her about some of the things that bothered me when I was still at home and things in recent years.

Ephesians 1:7-10 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

It’s hard having conversations that were filled with pain that has been hidden in my heart for such a long time. I wanted to let her know that I have forgiven her for things that went on in our home. I won’t go into detail on here. But, there was a great deal that needed to be discussed and it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

The most important conversations we had been about being saved and about baptism. After our 90 minute conversation I felt at ease. She did end up getting baptized and my heart was happy. Mom was a new person after she got baptized.

My sister Joyce was down at my mom and dads. Joyce would hold the phone up to my moms ears and we would talk, well I would talk. Mom was in a coma for a few days before her graduation ceremony. She was graduating from this life and moving on to be with Jesus. I would turn on songs like, “Amazing Grace“, When the Roll is Called Up Yonder, some Charlie Pride and so on. Just a few minutes before she died I told her that she is going on. I told her about how beautiful it will be. If she thought he roses were awesome here, they are much more beautiful there. I also told her that Grandma and Grandpa will be there as well. I told her that I love her so very much and when I get there, she is going to have to show me around and show me her roses.

I want to thank you mom for teaching me life skills and how to plant roses. Thank you for teaching us how to make fried chicken.

I’m going to close this post by saying that if you have been hurt by someone, don’t take forever to talk to them. I lost a number of years because of stupid petty stuff with my parents. Some things were my fault and others not. Either way, holding grudges and not talking doesn’t accomplish anything. I have been there/done that. It’s not worth it. Talk about whatever it is and then enjoy life.

Colossians 3:13

13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.