Conflicted

I have been thinking for a while if I should share this post of delete it. I didn’t want to cause stress for many and more so, I didn’t want to stress out those at my church. I’ve been having a great deal of conflicts lately. For the most part it has been about my walk with Christ and situations that Satan has been throwing at me and those around me.

Path Broken Between People

I want to being this blog post with a prayer.

 I would like to encourage you to pray that God will shift your heart and mindset away from what your ideal criterias are as you search for the perfect church. Instead pay that God directs you towards the ideal church where you can grow in your faith and where you will become Christlike.

I don’t even know how or where to start this blog post… I have been feeling conflicted for the past year or so when it comes to what I should be doing faith wise. I know that I believe in Jesus Christ. What I’m struggling with is how all of the rules and guidelines are changing in churches and as a whole. I personally have this feeling that all of these rules and regulations are more of a man-made thing instead of given from God.

I listen to sermons from a number of churches in addition to the sermons that my Pastor shares with each of us. As I continue to struggle with all of the rules and regulations, I’m not being spiritually feed because of all the rules involved.  About 6 months ago, I began praying that God will direct and guide me when it comes to my spiritual walk.

I’m finding that all of the rules and regulations of who we are told to worship is causing more obstacles for me. I feel the need to get back to the basics of worshiping God and distance myself from all of the rules.  I understand that rules are needed for most things. But when those rules prevent you from getting closer to Christ and growing spiritually, then there is a huge problem.

I don’t want to distance myself from God, I want to grow closer to Jesus Christ and strengthen my relationship with Christ.

Heavenly Father, because you loved us with all of Your heart when You send Your Son Jesus Christ into our world to be our Savior. I know since You Sent Your Son Jesus to die for me and to carry my sins and the sins of the world. Since you’ve given Jesus to us and for us, we can depend on you to give us everything.  We are told in Rom. 8:32 that He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

Proverbs 16:9 New International Version (NIV)

9 In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.

To the angel of the church in Philadelphia write: These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. Rev. 3:7(NIV)Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Prov. 3:5-6 (ESV)

Over the past few months some decisions that I have had on my heart and in my mind would be considered “no brainers,” and some require nothing more than common sense.  But, there are other decisions that have left me conflicted and they have been second guessing my choices and these conflicts rob me of some much-needed sleep.

 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.(Col. 3:15).

When it comes to going to church, I take that very much to heart. I love my church and I have been going to it for 24 years. I also love the people there. What I am having problems with is how rules seem to be more important than the people. There has been a number of things that I haven’t been happy with and I try not to complain, but I’m finding that I have been doing just that. When I start focusing on the negative things, I find that I have to refocus on what God instructs me to. One of my biggest issues I have been having is that it feels like church is becoming more political and all about what you can’t do.  I guess it takes me back to when I was younger and the pastor would say we can’t go to movie, we can’t go bowling, we can’t listen to this person or pastor. I’m sure you get the idea.

One of the other things that has bothered me about churches is how certain studies can’t be discussed, while others can. I know my pastor has his own thoughts and he knows why he does what he does. But, I have been confused on why our church can’t advertise or share information about various Bible Studies and then it’s OK to advertise and show videos that aren’t put out by our church and we advertise and show those things. I’m not understanding why our church won’t allow anyone to share information about Precepts Upon Precepts Bible Study and videos and yet, they are doing this other video series that isn’t done by our church and it isn’t led by our pastor. I understand that the Video Series is good, but I don’t know why shows like this can be done and shared, when other Biblical series can’t be. Maybe I’m over thinking things, I’m not sure.

I do love that my pastor does sermons based on the entire books. He goes Scriptures to Scriptures. I think it is very important that we share the Gospel and be prepared for the End Times. There’s a big part of me though that I wish there was other Books in the Bible that is covered. I have been noticing the all of the sermons are basically the same thing. I wish there were other sermon topics. I know we are living in the last days. I get that. I really do. But, I wish there was other sermons and more about other Books in the Bible.

One of the things that our church does have is that there are plenty of opportunities to serve. I enjoy doing things for my church and more so for God. My church is basically an older congregation and it’s geared towards senior citizens. The negative about volunteering at my church and it has been a big thing for me in the past. Since not many like to volunteer, it’s like just a few people d everything. Not that many like to volunteer. Most churches are like this. It’s usually 10 percent of the church will volunteer to do things and the rest of the people do nothing but sit there. Again, one of the thing with volunteering is there is a bunch of rules and regulations. Everyone has their way to do things and if it isn’t done that way then you might as well stop helping. I sound like I’m complaining a lot, but it is what it is.

This is one of those things that I didn’t want to share because it sounds negative and I think in part it’s happening in my church and a number of other churches.

I have found and many others have found that if you can’t submit to whoever is in charge or the church leaders, you might as well either give in or leave. Some of my friends have tried to resolve their issues with leaders and they have found that they felt they needed to find a new church.

Every church member in my opinion should be willing to help out where they can and to use their talents. The thing is that in order to jump in and help, you have to be willing to do what you’re told. There have been churches that I have gone to and it is hard to get involved because of all the rules and regulations. It doesn’t make it enjoyable to help out when you have someone bossing you around and where your ideas doesn’t matter.

I want to end this post by saying that there are many reasons for someone to leave a church.  When my daughters where young, we were thinking we needed to find a new church since there were no children at our church. So, we had to look elsewhere. There were also times when the pastor would preach on things that weren’t Biblical. If you are feeling spiritually feed and that you’re not growing in your faith, it may be a good time to look elsewhere.Reasons to not leave is just because the pastor says something you don’t like.  But, for whatever reason you’re not happy at church, pray about it first. Listen to God and talk to someone.

If you have issues that you just don’t feel comfortable talking about with your pastor.  It may be a good idea to talk to another pastor or church member. For myself I want to make it a point to remain faithful to Christ. For me, prayer is something I need to do when I feel conflicted over things like this.

I found this prayer online and I think it is a perfect prayer to close this blog post with.

Father, make our ways straight as we seek to honor you with decisions that concern our children; decisions about employment and financial matters; decisions about health care—for ourselves and those we love; decisions required in messy and broken relationships; decisions generated by unexpected circumstances and fresh heartache; decisions with a deadline staring us in the eyes.

Father, thank you for teaching us that life isn’t primarily about making the right decisions, but trusting the right Lord—and that would be you. Your name is Redeemer, and you do all things well. So very Amen we pray, in Jesus’ merciful and mighty name.

 

 

 

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