I have a very dear friend that I have known for over 20 years. Her daughter went to school with my daughters. My friend and her husband and kids lived with us for a short time when they moved to our area.
The other night my friend called me and wanted to ask my opinion. She knows that I love the Lord and that I’m a Christian. A few years ago, she started going to a non-denomination church in a little city that is about 15 minutes from Denver. I was actually surprised by this call because she was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness and she got excommunicated about 10 years ago. I won’t mention her name since she may not appreciate it.
My friend was asking me to help her find a different church in her area. The one she has been going to is in the middle of doing sermons based on the Second Coming of Christ. She wants to find a church that is around Broomfield. Broomfield I think is close to Denver. I have never lived in Colorado, so I told her I would see what I can find out. She is really wanting to find a church where the Pastor covers a number of topics. She’s feeling like she is listening to the same sermon every Sunday.
As I was talking to her I was typing out what she was asking me. This was a three-hour conversation and I had a very long outline. Since the blog would have been about 6 pages, I wanted to get some help on gathering my thoughts. I needed it to be divided and putting the paragraphs in order. I immediately regretted sending the rough draft I had to the four people I sent it to. The reason why is that each of the people who I needed help from took it personally and all of them interjected what they thought the blog was about. I may even regret sharing this since I ended up with so many negative thoughts. I so wanted to tell them that ” It isn’t about you!”, “It isn’t about our church!”, “It has nothing to do with anyone where I live!”.
As I was talking to my friend and I was doing my best to gather my thoughts and I also pray for the right answers. After I sent the rough draft to a few people, I felt like I obviously worded things wrong. I also feel like I need to walk on eggshells since the four people who I sent it to take it too personal and each person got upset because I feel like they thought it was about them. When it had nothing to do with our church and my friends.
Since I was trying to help my friend by reaching out to those who I know that may have advice, I regretted sending it to them. Last night after I got some very long replies from a few people, I realized that I shouldn’t ask for advice from those who I would think would have the answers or maybe give me advice on helping her. Most of last night and all of my waking time today I realized that when I ask for advice or help, that things can be taken the wrong way.
I have been doing a lot of praying about things. My husband knows that I am upset over things. Just like the responses that I received, I may be getting more upset then I need to be. I do my very best to not hurt others. I do my best to be helpful. I also pray for people and for answers.
I only had one friend from church that read what I wrote in seach of answers that was helpful. She knew what I was saying in my rough draft and I appreciated the fact that she understood what I was saying and she said she would help me organize that blog. I know it was a very long blog, and it needed to be organized. So, I really appreciate that. She didn’t make me feel like I was saying terribly mean things about my church. I told her I was and am to the point of just stopping the things I do.
But, I know if I did that, it would cause a great deal of issues. I guess I’m very frustrated and nobody is willing to listen to what I’m saying. Anything I say or do is taken in the wrong way. I told my husband that I wonder why I keep trying. But I know it would affect a whole lot of people if I just threw in the towel. So, I can’t do that.
I wanted to help my friend and when I got the responses I did, I realized that I also need to make sure to pray. I told my husband today that I just wanted to throw my hands in the air and just “give up”. No matter how things are worded, then people take it the wrong way or they think it’s about them.
I’m tired of people blowing things out of proportion, especially when it has nothing to do with them. I came across this image about. I am still working on a blog to help my friend. But at the same time I know that I will have work on my answers to my friend. But, and this is a big but, I may have to ask some other people since the four I sent it to made it more about our church, when it was supposed to be about helping her find the right church where she can grow.
I sent a private message to a good friend asking for prayers. Since I was getting responses that were very negative, I got really upset with them. I didn’t get any responses that could help my friend. Instead I got responses that had nothing to do with her problem. I would love to hear what anyone’s responses would be.
I also need a lot of prayers since I’m getting upset over things going on. I have even talked to my daughter about things and she says people are petty. So, I know it would do absolutely no good talking to her. I guess when I ask for prayers or help, I now know that I need to go directly to God since those who I ask for help or answers aren’t understanding. I’m very frustrated over this.I know I shouldn’t be. I just feel like I’m talking to a wall and the walls are silent. I’m sure this blog will disappoint people since it will be taken the wrong way.
Since I only got responses that made me feel like I can’t ask anyone about how to give the best advice for my friend. I know that the rough draft I sent to a few people was long. I just needed the blog organized so I can give my friend the best advice I can give her.
I want to leave a very loud comment and ending to this blog post…
5 thoughts on “A Bit Frustrated- Warning- This is a Vent Post!”
MY DEAR; ALL YOU NEED IS THE LORD. TALK TO HIM. PEOPLE WON’T UNDERSTAND..BUT..HE ALWAYS UNDERSTANDS. JUST KEEP ON KEEPING ON. GOD BLESS YOU. LOVE, GINNY
When I write a post, I start with prayer. That prayer never ends. My prayer is that the words come out so that each word touches any, – and I mean any, – reader the way the Lord, not me, needs them to read them. Even my drafts. If readers have strong reactions then that is coming from the Spirit. Not from you. If you were writing with the Spirit holding your hand, then the words are meant to touch someone. Oh and I would never send them a draft again, if they attacked you, for they were not reading it with the Lord in their hearts.
Thank you so much for your comment. It has been bothering me that people take things the wrong way and I know you are right. If people react a certain way, then it’s them. My mom always told me if I got upset over something that I must have a guilty conscience. And until your comment, I never thought about that. But, it’s is so right. I didn’t post the long blog so I could have a few people look it over and help me break it down and make sense of it since it was probably about 4000 words. So, I was trying to make sense of a conversation I was having with my friend and I was shocked I had each person think it was about them. If it was about them, I wouldn’t have sent it to them.
You could have asked me for help. You know I would have done my best for you.
Thank you so much Jim. I will for sure remember that. I have been reading your blog. You have always been a great friend and I know you are there for me when I need prayers, answers and so on. I will send you a private message and we can talk for sure. 🙂