Josalyns Unicorn

Josalyn and her unicorn.

When I got really sick this summer and I was in ICU for at least a month, and then I was on the 2nd floor for close to 3 weeks and then the rehab center. I wanted to share just one very important part of the hospital stay and that all resolves around my grand-daughter Josalyn and her toy unicorn.

After I got out of the ICU and they moved me to a regular room I was having a lot of problems understanding who people were and I couldn’t really carry on a logical conversation. I had my cell phone with me,  and I knew it was my phone, but I couldn’t remember how to dial it, who the people on my contacts are and I couldn’t text. It took me a while for the connections in my brain to work. I still have issues on some of the things.

During my confusion for some reason my focus was on my grand-daughter Josalyn. Jessica and Josalyn always came up there. Josalyn left her little unicorn with me. But, I vaguely remember talking to the Dr’s about how I needed to make sure that she could eat and that she needs chocolate milk and she needed cookies. I felt this crazy need to make sure she was OK. I remember mumbling things about her to my nurses.

My grand daughter Josalyn

One night I asked my nurse to call my daughter Jessica. I left some kind of strange message on Jessica’s phone. I may have even texted her. For some reason my focus was entirely on Josalyn, her unicorn and my pug Jasper. I kind of remember talking to my Dr’s and nurses about how worried and even scared that with me in the hospital there is nobody feeding and taking care of Josalyn.

One afternoon when my sisters Joyce, Bren and my dad came to visit me from AZ. My husband, Jessica and Josalyn was also visiting me. I couldn’t even talk much. When I did talk, it was jumbled and I couldn’t talk loud enough to be heard. And I didn’t even know what was going on. I did know that my daughters, my husband, my sisters and my dad literally filled my hospital room with yellow and white roses. They were gorgeous. I had to leave some at the hospital since I was having major allergies.

During that visit with everyone. I started throwing up blood. The nurse was telling me to calm down and to put my head in the back. She was trying all kinds of things. But, blood clots the size of part of my fist was being thrown up. Some of them went into my lungs. This all happened when everyone was visiting. My dad was scared to death. He had to leave the room. I was throwing up so much blood, it was all over my med, blankets and me. The nurse I had was off work and she didn’t tell the incoming nurse that I was having a nose bleed.


It was much worse than a nose bleed since it was being thrown up and some was from my nose. Something perforated somewhere in my stomach. The nurse that was in my room 24/7 immediately called a Dr. She knew the problem was much worse that a simple nose bleed. Within minutes they had me going out of the room and they took me to have some kind of a procedure to try to stop the bleeding. I think I was in a surgical room. As they were moving me to hopefully stop my bleeding, I wanted them, well demanded them to get me Josalyns unicorn. The nurse didn’t want to, but I guess I got pretty loud lol.

What a wonderful blessing both JJ and Josayn was. I don’t remember anything

The procedures that they had to do is something I don’t remember. All I remember at that time is that I know I’m loosing a lot of blood and I didn’t know anyone could loose that much blood and still be alive. All I remember is that I had Josalyn’s unicorn and I didn’t want any blood on her toy. I was heavily crying because of Josalyn and the unicorn. They worked on me till around 3 in the morning and if it wasn’t for that unicorn   I don’t know if I could have stayed focused. The pain was so bad that not even the morphine and the dilaudid helped with some of the pain. But, I think I only got through this ordeal because I was really scared of ruining Josalyn’s Unicorn. I was also praying so much. Even though I was given a ton of medications, I was still in pain, but when I asked God to protect me and to take the pain away that worked.

One of the nurses was told by the Dr to keep me calm because things were going to be bad. There was only one other way to help stop the bleeding. So, this nurse noticed how many times I mentioned Josalyn and the unicorn. I was protecting that unicorn. I wasn’t worried about me bleeding to death, but I was about her unicorn. So, the nurse got me talking about Josalyn and she wanted to hold the unicorn. That was a negative. I will hold her unicorn. But, at that moment, God put this on my heart and I haven’t shared that with anyone.

My grand daughter was with my daughter every day at the hospital. But, Josalyn looks exactly like Jessica did when she was a baby. I know people will think I’m nuts. But, in my mind I needed to protect Josalyn because I was thinking she is my daughter Jessica. I also use to collect unicorns. When I was worried about Josalyn needing to eat and drink and taken care of because it is my job to do that. But, I honestly think that during my hospital stay, I was thinking Josalyn was Jessica.

I wanted to share this video of my grandson JJ and Josalyn. I didn’t want to leave him out.


Jessica and Josalyn Video 

Around 3:00 am, I was back in my room and the unicorn had absolutely no blood on it. I did loose a lot of blood. They had to give me a couple blood transfusions. On that night they had to and then about a week later they had to give me more blood. I don’t remember anything from that ordeal except that there was blood all over the room, the floor, the bed, my gown, the Dr and the nurses even had to get clean cloths.

The nurse that I had when the bleeding started should have let the oncoming nurse know that I had a problem. I really couldn’t talk because I was throwing up big blood clots from my throat and nose. I really appreciate those who helped. I know there were a lot of people in the area they had to take me and I thank God that is had Josalyn and her unicorn to help me get through it all.

Building Walls


“Jesus entrusted to Peter the keys to open the entrance to the kingdom of heaven, and not to close it.”

I’m wanting to keep this post more about Christ and not turn it into a political post and I’m soory that I have included more political things than I wanted.

It’s been bothering me big time that people are posting this picture and saying that if Heaven has a wall then why can’t the United States. Donald Trump and politicians on both sides of the fence are NOT GOD. We are NOT in Heaven, we are here in the United States.

Part of the president’s order stated that, “In order to protect Americans, the United States must ensure that those admitted to this country” don’t have “hostile attitudes” to our nation’s “founding principles.”

It added: “The United States should not admit those who engage in acts of bigotry or hatred (including ‘honor’ killings, other forms of violence against women, or the persecution of those who practice religions different from their own) or those who would oppress Americans of any race, gender, or sexual orientation.”

When I was listening to what the president was saying, I found it laughable that he thinks that all people should be “vetted”. When someone is being vetted,that means that they will be investigated heavilty. The reason why I found his statement laughable is because Trump has problems with those who are gay and lesbians. He also has issues with race and so on. I know many won’t agree, but it is what it is. I guess I have issues with those who thinks they are better than others and they put themselves higher than Christ.

I have absolutely no problem when it comes to making sure that those who come into our country are here legally and that they haven’t committed crimes against others or are planning on hurting and killing people from our country. But, I do find it horrible that people are ready to hate on someone because they may look different and they don’t speak English.  No matter what country they are from, all people should have a clean record and have never commited a crime such as murder. I have absolutely no problem with keeping criminals out of our country that’s fine. That’s important to do.

A friend of my posted this image on my Facebook Page.  Since I have been working on this post. they said that Trump is like Jesus. He is going to be the one to save the world

What I’m upset with is those who are that Trump is going to come riding his white horse across the country to save the day.

Here’s what Jesus tells us will happen to those who doesn’t pass His criteria when it comes to going to Heaven: They will “go off to eternal punishment.” Or as he says elsewhere in Matthew about those who fail this test: “Throw this useless servant into the darkness outside, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.”

Of course, the United States isn’t heaven, and Donald Trump isn’t God. But if the President and conservatives want to enact vetting based on the teachings of Jesus, they should look to Christ himself.

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus tells us what it is he requires from his followers for entry into heaven, his domain: Feed the hungry. Give drink to the thirsty. Welcome strangers. Clothe the naked. Minister to the sick. Visit the imprisoned. Here are some Bible verses that I live by each and every day.

John 3:16-18 

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.

Romans 10:9-13 

Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Matthew 7:13-14“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.

I don’t know why Christians would think it would be funny to have all of those who are from foreign countries or those who have come to the United States illegally to go to Hell.   I know that we all have to follow the law, but I do make mistakes. I drive to fast and I forget to turn on my signal and so on. One of my friends was deported because she didn’t register her car. She was pulled over because of that. She was 2 days past the time to get her tags. So she was arrested and sent back to El Savadore.

Mexican-Food (1)When I was younger there was a family that came to our farm. They needed work so he could feed his family.  They were given jobs and they also were given a single wide trailer. All I can remember about his name is that his name was Miguel. I would go visit his family everyday. I wanted to learn more aboout their culture. They had two children and his wife was super sweet. I was introduced to Mesican food for the first time because of them.

There were nights that our family didn’t have any food in our house. My parents did the best they could, but one night I was at Muguels home and they were getting ready to sit down and eat. They asked me if I would like to stay and eat. I told them I was fine, they can go a head and eat. That’s when they made me sit and eat with them. I must have been really hungry. They asked me if I would like to take some home with me. I told them that I would get in trouble if I told anyone that our family had no food at all. Instead, she made up a plate of burittos, beans and rice. She told me to tell my parents that they had so much and they didn’t want to throw it away.

I did tell my parents that and I was very scared of telling them that. If mom and dad thought I was begging for food I would have been beaten literally. When I gave the dishes of food to mom, mom had tears running down her face. There was so much food for us, that we even had left overs for the next day. If it wasn’r for Migeuls family we would have gone hungry for that night and the next day. We hated it when there was no school. If there was no school, most days we didn’t eat.

When I hear all of the hatred that people have towards the Mexican people that they don’t know, it breaks my heart big time. Then I have had some close friends who have said that Mexicans and those who are Democrates should go to hell also and they are destroying America. They feel that just believing isn’t going to be enough for a person who votes for democrats or those who are liberals are all destined to go to hell. One woman who I have known for many yearts said that everyone who didn’t vote for Trump or the Republicans have no place in Heaven and she said she wouldn’t even sit with someone that is from Mexico and she wouldn’t sit next to a Democrat.

For those who aren’t going to be entering Heaven, there are a variety of thoughts that people have and what I imagine for them. Either they will be thrown into outer darkness and they will be wailing and grinding their teeth. Personally I find it horrible when people post this image that shows the Gates of Heaven and how Heaven has walls.   If you want to learn more about the grinding of teeth and the wailing, click here. This is a good page to learn about that and what it means.

When I read this verse from, John 3:16 I can’t even fathom Heaven having the kinds of walls that us humans and politicians can put up.  

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

I totally understand that all countries and our country as well has specific standards. I also feel that if someone is going to be in our country they need to go through the legal chain of events. With the way things are now, there are a lot of hoops to jump through and it is very costly. Most of those who are coming into out country are looking for a better life.

My family worked in the agricultural business. My dad worked in cotton fields and other various crops. We lived close to the border of Mexico by Yuma, AZ. Many of those who found their way to our farm wasn’t here legally. This was back in the 70’s and I’m sure things have changed somewhat. But, we have never had any problems out of those who found our farm. They were some of the nicest people. My dad and sisters lives around 20 miles from the border of Mexico right now. They are by Douglas, AZ. The haven’t had any problems.

But, I absolutely believe that if someone wants to become an American, they should do that legally. I know it costs a whole lot of money and takes a lot of time, but, it’s best to do it legally. I don’t know of any other country that would let us just stay or live in their country without a visa or proper documents. No matter what country you are visiting or wanting to stay, you have to stay there legally.

Now, when it comes to those children(Dreamers) who only knows the United States and they don’t know anyone that they are supposed to be related to, they should be able to stay since they came as babies or young children. I don’t know all of the answers for these children, but I know that if they were my children, I would want the best for them.

image (2)When I had friends of mine posting and sharing this image it made me sick. They are Christians and they believe anything and everything that Trump says and does. It bothers me beyond words when I hear people say , “Make America Great Again.” I know it is a slogan, but I feel like we already  live in the most amazing country ever. There are many things that we could do better. But, when people say “Make America Great Again:, it makes me think about how horrible out country really is.

When this image came up on Facebook, it really called a lot of frustration. Why in the world would anyone think it’s OK to compare how Heaven has a wall and so should American. It drives me bonkers big time.

There is mention of walls and gates in the Book of Revelation. Click Here to read about t

he meaning for that. Here is a paragraph to that commentary and then you can read more about it. It is pretty inspirational and informational.

So, Jesus Christ — like Donald Trump — specific standards for entry into his land. But we would do well to remember that when it comes to getting into Heaven, you just need to  accept Jesus Christ as the Son of God. , We also must admit that we are sinners. the last are first, the poor are blessed and prodigal children are always welcomed home. Not bad advice for the President who claimed upon taking office he would “make Christianity strong in America again.”

I have a friend who lives in Indiana that has been posting crap that was all from websites that are lies and made up instead of fact checking things. I can’t wait till 2020 gets here and I hope we get a new president. But, like I said, I didn’t post it so you guys can see it

Chuck said that “I thought you hated political posts”. I do hate political posts for sure and I dread the political season. I’ve started seeing that crap as advertisements on youtube and all kinds of crap. I try not to block friendships. I have already fully blocked 5 friends in the last week over this post.

When people think that, I find it horrible and I’m seeing it from those who say they are Christians. Heaven is open to all who have accepted Christ and believe. That’s like people thinking that people from Mexico and foreign countries are going to go to hell

I want to end this post by sharing the Sinners Prayer.

“Dear God,

I know I’m a sinner, and I ask for your forgiveness.
I believe Jesus Christ is Your Son. I believe that He died
for my sin and that you raised Him to life.
I want to trust Him as my Savior and follow Him as Lord,
from this day forward. Guide my life and help me to do your will.
I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.”

Did you pray this prayer?