Month: March 2014

I got to thinking about this topic the other day. Really, I have been thinking on it a lot in the past. And it is dinner etiquette.

When I invite someone out to dinner, I’m under the assumption that I am the one paying since I did the inviting. That is unless I want company for dinner then I will ask a friend if they are free and would like to go out. But we would have to go dutch treat. All of this is planned out before we go out to dinner.

My friend Lisa and I knows how it works. Maybe it is because we are from the Midwest or just raised differently. Not sure though. But we end up switching off and on. If one of us doesn’t have money, the other will offer to pay. It works out. She knows that if I call her to see if she wants to get something to eat, I pay and vice versa. It is the same way with my daughters and my brother in law. It isn’t all put on one person all the time.

But what about those people who want to go out to eat and they assume that I should be the one paying, no matter what. I have seen this happen quite often and it isn’t just about one person expecting, but almost seems as if they feel entitled. If I don’t have the money, I simply say I have no money and then comes the I don’t either. Well!!! Now if they had no money, why would they be calling me to go out to dinner? I have come up with the conclusion it is because they are hungry and have no money and don’t want to cook. Or maybe they are just lazy. Who knows? But it isn’t just one person, I think it is a mindset of many people. And it doesn’t happen to just me, but many.

I’m blown away by conversations in restaurants and other places when it comes to picking up the tab. Actually, I think it is downright rude on so many levels. I assume that if I am invited out to dinner, the other person is paying, unless they state it will be dutch. As long as I know what is going on and what I need. When inviting someone to go out to dinner and the person has no intention of paying for theirs and assuming the other has unlimited cash is in my opinion selfish and not cool at all. If they are wanting to hang out, then go to the persons house, don’t expect the invitee to foot the bill when they are the ones wanting to go.

My suggestion would be that if the person who wants to go to dinner doesn’t have the money to go, then don’t expect others to pay because the person wants to go eat.. If they are looking for company, then ask the person if it is OK to come over and talk. Maybe they need a friend or someone to talk to. I personally don’t have a problem with inviting friends over that needs a listening ear. And I don’t mind cooking either. I would never turn anyone away that is hungry or in need. But at the same time, it is costly to be expected to pay for someones meal when I wasn’t the one wanting to go out to begin with.

There are times when Chuck and I go out and we have others with us. We have enough cash for us, but not for everyone. We always tell them in advance that we are going to dinner after the movie, church or whatever. If they want to go with, they are more than welcome, but they would have to pay for themselves. It isn’t rude and they have the option to go or not go. Most people know I’m not made out of money and I never won the lottery.

I know there has to be a rule book or etiquette rule for things like this. I did look this up because my brain likes to know if there is a actual rule for this. And there is a whole host of information on this topic. And a lot of rules depending on if it is a business dinner, date night, get together with friends and so on.

• If you are going out to dinner with other friends, it is OK to split the check. But make sure you are clear on how the bill will be handled so it doesn’t become awkward and the elephant in the room. This should be decided prior to ordering.
• If it is corporate meeting, then it should be the business that picks up the check. They can make arrangements with the restaurant prior to dinner and give the credit card number and information so it doesn’t become an issue.
• If you are going out with a group of people, separate checks is best and that would be considered dutch treat. Each person is responsible for their own meal and drinks.
• If you were invited to dinner tradition dictates that the one who did the inviting typically pays for the meal.

P.S. I do want to add one thing to going out to dinner etiquette. Please turn off the cell phones while we are eating. If someone wants to talk and text on the phone, they should be doing it somewhere else. Its a pain in the neck when you are out eating and those with you are more interested in texting or talking to others. They might as well have not gone at all if that’s what they want to do. It is extremely rude when you are with friends and family and it is rude to those that are trying to have a nice dinner. They don’t want to hear your conversations and I know I don’t.

Injecting snake venom is insane. I just watched part of a video about this guy who has been injecting venom into himself for right around 20 yrs. I couldn’t watch all of the video because it made me cringe. I’m not a big lover of snakes and even more so those who can kill ya. Who in their right mind would inject themselves with snake venom from rattlesnakes, vipers and so on. To me that is nuts. But then like other things, my mind gets to wondering on stupid things and snakes.

My brain began reeling on the thought of how humans from the beginning of time has made stupid choices that put our lives at risk. I can’t help but think about how Adam and Eve was deceived by the serpent. HELLOOOOOOOOO!!! You would think we would learn to not play around with deadly snakes that want to kill us. But guys like this makes me shake my head and wonder what brain cells he is using.

It doesn’t have to be a venomous snake to do us in. It can be just about anything like eating, drinking, smoking, lying, cheating and almost everything else. Shoot anymore even breathing can get ya killed in some areas. I guess when I think about my stupid things that could have killed me. And thankfully I’m still here and not because of my own doing, but because of God’s grace.

As a girl that was basically raised in the 70’s and doing things I know better than, I’m surprised. Some of those bad choices were hitch-hiking across the country. Well, not the country, but about 1400 miles. Then I somehow survived the dry lakes in Willcox Az. We would go out to the dry lakes and do what is called donuts. But we upped the anti and would sit on the hood of the trucks while it was doing the donuts. And hoping to hold on until the truck came to a stop. Obviously I held on because I am here now. Then there was the one and only time I drank too much. I learned that drinking was NO fun at all when you are getting sick out of a car as it is going down the mountain.So, my question to myself is the guy injecting snake venom any different than my bad choices? Information on the Dry Lakes aka Willcox Playa is at the bottom of the page.

I do believe without a doubt that it is only God that saved me from my stupidity. Being a teenager is no excuse for being stupid. God must have had a much bigger plan for my life because so much could have gone wrong.

Now when I moved to Texas and moved in with my now husband. I ended up with Guillian Barre Syndrome. GBS is an auto-immune disease that caused me to be paralyzed for close to a year and I still have residuals from this. They actually changed my diagnosis to the chronic form of GBS called What is Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy (CIDP). I included the description of CIPD at the bottom of this blog.

I do believe that when I ended up with this, it halted my wild days. I was only 17 at the time and Chuck and I did get married and still are. The reason I say that is that I couldn’t smoke or I wouldn’t be able to breath. I had to concentrate on what is important and not on all the things I wanted to do or the troubles I would have gotten into. There is no way I would wish this on anyone. But I do think that if I was left to my own devices, things could and would be different now.

I know without a doubt that it is only God that saved me from my stupidity. Being a teenager is no excuse for being stupid and taking risks. God must have had a much bigger plan for my life because so much could have gone wrong. And since God saved me from myself, I have wonderful daughters, grand-kids and blessings that cannot be counted. I really like the verse Luke 22:31-33 when I think about how God has a way of protecting us from ourselves and from Satan.

• Luke 22:31-33: And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren. And he said unto him, Lord, I am ready to go with thee, both into prison, and to death.

When the trials become the hardest, Jesus’ disciples will remember that he predicted their struggle. They will have hope in their darkness, and will again see the Light of Life. When Peter relies on his own strength,  his strength is an illusion. But in persecution, Peter learns to rely on God’s forgiveness and God’s strength. In his weakness, he finds strength. And then that strength becomes a vital source of strength to many others around him. We need to be relying on God, not snake venom to help us feel stronger. I can’t help but wonder what this guy is trying to run away from when he injects himself with venom. And I pray that God protects him from himself.

Today, as I was watching the video on the snake venom guy, I hope he has a wake up call. He may not think anything is or will happen to him. But one day he may find there is no going back. You can only test fate for so long before something is going to happen. When he makes a comment to a commenter he says that playing with death is the best way to live life. I can’t even begin to understand that comment. I do think that we should live our lives like this would be our last. But that doesn’t mean that we need to inject venom into our bodies just to get a euphoric feeling and to feel less fear. I would think that when we have fear it is our bodies way of telling us not to do something. Click here to watch the video – Snake phobics beware. There is snakes all over the place in this video.

Willcox Dry Lakes aka Willcox Playa– You CANNOT go out onto the Willcox Playa. It is controlled by the military. It is dangerous, many unexploded shells and various ammunition. After 50 years, some of it may not be dangerous, but some is extremely unstable, say military authorities.

Willcox Playa doesn’t draw many crowds. Visitors reviews vary wildly, from bleak and in hospitable where dust devils slither along teeming with life dawns break cold, clear and full of life. Even in Arizona, known for its stark contrasts, this flat expanse of valley floor is a landscape of radical extremes. But many visitors to Willcox Playa find its natural history surprisingly rich, an extraordinary geologic setting that supports hundreds of bird and other species.

Chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy (CIDP) is a neurological disorder characterized by progressive weakness and impaired sensory function in the legs and arms. The disorder, which is sometimes called chronic relapsing polyneuropathy, is caused by damage to the myelin sheath (the fatty covering that wraps around and protects nerve fibers) of the peripheral nerves. Although it can occur at any age and in both genders, CIDP is more common in young adults, and in men more so than women. It often presents with symptoms that include tingling or numbness (beginning in the toes and fingers), weakness of the arms and legs, loss of deep tendon reflexes (areflexia), fatigue, and abnormal sensations. CIDP is closely related to Guillain-Barre syndrome and it is considered the chronic counterpart of that acute disease.

I know this is a weird topic. I remember as a child that in our schools we had small toilets since we were small children. And the teachers and adults had normal sized ones.

The reason I am doing this post is that it is insane that toilets are like 12 inches high. OK! Maybe not literally, but it feels that way at times.  I feel like I have reverted back to 1st grade sized toilets when I see what some public restrooms offer.  So I’m wondering who in the world got the idea that it is a good thing to make child sized toilets for adult sized butts and heights.

I feel for those people who are handicapped or tall.  They might as well sit on the floor or squat down to go to the bathroom. Today Craig and myself went out to lunch. And with my mind wondering about differences in sizes of toilets.  I noticed that in the handicapped stall the toilets were normal people sized. While the other stalls are where you might as well be a toddler learning how to use the potty, because it is by all appearance made for a 4 or 5 yr old. The only thing missing is the little song that plays when you tinkle.

My mother in law would get so upset when she had to go potty and there was an as in one handicapped stall.  And of course that was the only place that had normal toilets. She had bad knees and such so she had an issue with short ones. Shoot I have an issue and medical problems and I can see why she would have a problem with the heights. And it never fails that the one in the handicapped stall is someone capable of getting up off the short toilets they think are OK for adults. I wonder if it was a man who created this design or someone who is around 4 ft tall. I’m willing to bet that people over 6 ft wonder the same thing.  And not to mention the basketball players. I can see the look on their faces as the analyze the situation and wonder how in the world they are going to be using it without his legs sticking out from under the stalls.

With my mind wondering about what in the world someone was thinking when they design toilets, I had to take to the internet to find the answer on why and the differences in sizes. Here are some of my findings;

• Toilets are referred to as “water closets” in ADA Accessibility Guidelines. To be compliant with ADA guidelines, the height from the floor to the top of the toilet seat must be from 17 to 19 inches.

• For children that height can be a minimum of 11 inches and a maximum of 17 inches.

I have to say I got a kick out of this comment when I read what is so great about squat toilets. “Avoiding health issues also saves money. Treating cancer, IBS and other disorders can become very expensive. By using this kind of sanitary toilet, you stand less chance of contracting these diseases, thereby saving the expense of treating them”  The reason I got a kick out of it is that I would love to see a little old lady or someone handicapped being able to use this. They may be not get cancer by using this method, but I sure would wonder how they would be able to get off the floor or out of that position. There is even directions on using the squat toilet, egadds… Maybe I shouldn’t complain about short toilets built for children since other counties have to do their thing this way. What would be do without instructions for going potty?

A number of years ago, I would say about 4 pastors ago, we had a whacked out pastor at our church. I won’t go into all the horrible things, but it was a nightmare. And sadly for the most part I came to the conclusion that our church is a dying church. They didn’t want to grow. They wanted everything the same way. My sister Joyce came to church with me and asked me what happened to so many of the people. She about chocked when I said, they died. Well, the ones she was asking about was really dead. But in other ways, the church was there. They didn’t want things that would interfere with their Sunday service. And it was pretty sad during our voting during that time, some of the parishioners voiced that out loud and I knew I had to leave. I could NOT and would NOT be a part of a dying church where people didn’t want to grow.

One of the ladies even made the comment that they didn’t want a pastor that would change things because young people doesn’t understand them and they would ruin things. I came home and was very upset over that comment. And for two years I never went back to St. George Community Church. I can understand that everyone likes to worship their own way. But I also think that there is room for people of all ages, even if it is a second service, mixed or so on.

When that pastor left, so much happened and many left the church. It was a mess. He didn’t make it there very long for good reason. Some people never should be in the ministry. They did send us a new pastor that was awesome. Pastor Lary and Donna were what I called healing pastor and wife. They were able to help us get back to where we should be and that is worshiping Christ. It wasn’t easy I’m sure. It took a lot of convincing for me to go back to the church. I never did take my membership back since I felt they were still family.

After Pastor Donna and Lary left we had Pastor Dean and Ruth… They were awesome too. They had a different gift and the church began to come back to life. Things were happening and things was good. I could feel the presence of God again.

They accomplished alot of things while they were at our church. We have a new fellowship hall named after sweet Eddy Elliott. And so many other wonderful changes. They have retired last year. Which I’m sure isn’t actually retirement since they are busier than ever. When they left, they left as friends and will always be that way. And now we have a new pastor and wife.

Pastor Ray and Kathi are our pastor and wife. And I have to see I am pleased to see what God is doing in our church. When I think about what my thoughts were on a dying church and the frustration I am taken back. The reason I say that is because it’s awesome to see a baptistry at church. I never could understand why a church wouldn’t have their own. I guess to me it tells me they are intent on baptizing and bringing people to Christ. Seems strange to me to borrow someones.

Today I get an email from Pastor Ray to have me post something new going on at church. I was actually blown away and had to admit that to myself and God that nothing is impossible. And that even if I see that things are dying, there is still life. What happened is that there is a prayer station outside of our church now. They pray for anyone and for the students at Dixie State University. They will talk to them, give them free Bibles and be there. And it isn’t just for the students, its for anyone. I have to honestly say, I didn’t think this would EVER EVER EVER happen at our church. I am super excited to see what is going to happen and I guess I have to leave this and say, ” God’s NOT Dead and neither is St. George Community Church.

Change can be hard for some, but that’s where you just have to trust God in all things. Pastor Dean would tell me this because I wanted to do all these things and he said I had to wait for God’s timing, not mine… I think God knew I had issues with the waiting for something to happen. But he was right…

If you would like to have prayers or visit St. George Community Church the address is 95 South 800 E, St. George, Utah and the churches number is 435-673-2302435-673-2302 and our pastors name is Pastor Ray Schroeder…

There was a time when you wanted to visit a friend and meet up. You had no cell phone, so you made sure you were there.  If you were having a conversation with someone, you would look each other in the eyes and talk. A conversation was between 2 or more people. Cell phones are great, but it seems like they are more and more taking over our lives. We depend on them for everything. Our so called smart phones are making us dumb. For myself, I use to be able to remember telephone numbers and figure out things for myself. Now, if I needed to remember my daughters telephone numbers I would be lost and stressed out. I barely know my husbands number by heart. And that is a shame. Technology is taking over our brains.

There are many advantages with having cell phones and I love mine. Some of those are emergencies, business and whatever else. But I have found that I rely on it way too much. I realized this when I went to visit my parents in Arizona. They live in a black hole when it comes to cell and internet service. I was in denial that there could be a place that I couldn’t find out what was going on in the world and with each other. But what I found is that it was great not being attached to my phone. I didn’t worry about doing the things I normally never get a chance to do and just visit with family. My friend did have a cell that could be used in this black hole and I would check in each day. But it was rather nice to not have to worry about the phone ringing off the hook, missing a status update or a text message. They all knew they couldn’t reach me where I was, and surprisingly they survived and so did I. As soon as I entered an area where I could get some bars, my phone with off the hook and the real world was there again.
 
Not too long ago, there was a picture that has made it’s rounds on Facebook about texting in public and when you are with others. This is a pet peeve of mine big time. I don’t like having dinner with someone and every few seconds they check their status, message or whatever else it may be. I might as well have eaten by myself or not go out at all. I find it sad that when a cell phone rings, everyone is taking their phones out of pockets and purses on cue. And it is sad and frustrating that you have to text the person in front of you to get them to talk or acknowledge you are there.

When I worked at a local grocery store, we had customers come up to the register all the time with phone in hand while trying to unload their cart. I would ask them if there was anything else they needed. Or how many items were in a bag. I felt like I was talking to myself. Oh, and when they put their finger up as if they were saying “hold on, I’m talking”, I would be ticked. This one lady did that. She was arguing with her husband for sometime. We could all hear her throughout the store. And lucky me, I got to check her out. She kept arguing. I was pretty tired of it by then. I rang up her groceries and when I gave her the amount, she lifted her finger. OH, NO! She did not just do that was on my mind. So I suspended her order and took the receipt to the customer service booth. I told her when she is done fighting on the phone for us all to hear, she can get her groceries. She gave me a look that could kill. But, I’m pretty sure the 5 or 6 customers behind me were applauding.

I try to be observant of those around me. If someone calls me while driving, they can wait for me to call them back when I stop. I very much dislike it when I go out with friends or family and the phone comes out and I’m trying to carry on a conversation. My husband would do that while we were out. Since the posting on Facebook, I have noticed the past couple of times, he has left his phone in his pocket.  There was a time people did live through the whole thing of phones attached to the ears.

Then you have family dinners. I find it disheartening that when families are out together, they are all on cell phones. Why go if you are chatting to others or preoccupied by the phone. Makes no sense to me. I have had some people get mad that I don’t answer my phone right away. And I don’t really care if they get mad. When I’m out in public or with someone, I don’t need to be married to my phone. I want to visit with them. And unless someone is hurt or the world is coming to an end, then I won’t answer. There was a time or two I had to take my phone out of my purse that is normally turned off or on silent. I took it out and turned it on to text the person I’m having dinner with. I would ask them if they realize they are out to dinner and the phone can be shut off. I wish there was cell phone free zones.

I think it is entirely rude to be in line and you aren’t ready. They are there to take your order, not listen to your conversation. They do have other people they need to wait on. And then you get those at the drive thru, theaters, church and driving. This is a hot topic for me. I won’t even go into the whole driving while texting and chatting. If people don’t know the dangers with that, then they have had their heads in the sand or on the phone for way too long.

I get into some weird conversations when my 6 yr old Grandson JJ is over at my house. Here is one of many conversations.

We were looking at pictures of crabs on the internet. I made the comment that they are like spiders in the ocean. So I showed him pictures of spiders that have similar body types and legs. The conversation got out of hand to say the least.

Me: JJ, this is what a crab looks like before we eat them.
JJ: I love crab legs, can we go get some at Red Lobster. ( A kid after my own heart)
Me: Not right now, I have no money… But we can look at pictures ( funny look on his face)
JJ: Crabs look cool
Me: Yeah, they look like big spiders, but they swim in the ocean. And spiders are on land (Showing Tarantula Pics)
JJ: That’s AWESOME(Evil Chuckle as he says that)
Me: Why is that awesome JJ. Do you like spiders
JJ: NO!!! Do they taste like crab legs.
Me: I don’t know, I never tired and never want to
JJ: That would be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Cool (Me picturing him chasing a spider with a fork)
Me: I don’t think you want to eat spiders because they might bite you on your lip if you did that.
JJ: Would I go to heaven if it bit me?
Me: I would make sure you didn’t die and you will have a swollen lip that is ugly, lol
JJ: That isn’t a nice spider
Me: JJ please don’t go eating spiders and only eat crab legs when you go to Red Lobster or parents give it to you, lol
JJ: OK! Then can I get a GI Joe at Target

I think I need to remember that JJ is impressionable and doesn’t have a big fear factor going on. Shoot, this kid eats the lollipops with worms and crickets. So I need to make sure he doesn’t have a fork in hand while chasing spiders around the room.

Are Spiders and Crabs Related?

I had to look this up and found it on webanwers.com. I’m not knowledgeable when it comes to matters like this. And spiders are NOT my favorite topic,,,

Crabs and spiders are distantly related. They are both invertebrates (animals that lack internal bony skeletons). They are both in the phylum Arthropoda (animals which have jointed legs, an external skeleton of chitin, and a segmented body).

Spiders are in the subphylum Chelicerata which includes the horseshoe crabs and sea spiders but not the true crabs. True crabs are in the subphylum Crustacea which also includes animals such as shrimp, lobsters, and barnacles.

Spiders are all terrestrial while the crabs are nearly all fully aquatic with a few terrestrial species which still are closely tied to the water. While the spiders and crabs share a common ancestor so they are related, they are not closely related. The two groups are about as closely related as mammals are to fish.