“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)

I don’t know about you, but there has been times when I would spend time with someone who I wasn’t particularly fond of. It bothered me that all she knows how to do is bicker and gripe. She finds fault in just about anything or any one… even when life seems to be going right . It is difficult to be around someone who finds in everything and with everyone.

I hope that I’m not the kind of person that people don’t like to be around. Even though I do have my moments. I would like you to take a moment and think about a time when you have been around a person who goes out of their way to be kind to others. I will do a little comparison on what the difference is when a person is kind and when someone is being downright hateful or demeaning.

These are just a few examples of a nice person: 

• Integrity : Someone that has Integrity  would be a person who has strong moral principles and values and then living your life.  When you have integrity, you adhere to choose to live your life with integrity whether or not other people are watching.
• Respectfulness: When you treat others with dignity, courtesy and in a civil manner, you are treating them with kindness. I believe that all people should be treated with respect.
• Compassion: When you honestly feel sympathy for the suffering of others and you have a desire to do something for them to take away their suffering, that is called compassion.
• Courageousness: Even if a person is fearful, in pain or they have other uncomfortable feelings, you mentally know that you have to step in to help instead of running away. You step up to the plate.
• Generosity: A person who is generous is someone who is willing to offer their time, energy, emotions or other things. They do things for others without the expectation of getting something in return.
• Kindness:  When you are showing kindness to others, it is with the intent of being helpful and considerate towards others.Those who show unconditional kindness has a positive disposition.

What does the Bible say about kindness?

As a Christian when I think about what it means to be kind, the first thing or person I think about is Jesus Christ Himself.

Titus 3:4-6: But when the kindness of and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. (NIV)

These are just a few examples of a hateful person: 

As I consider some traits of a person who is mean or demeaning, I think about some people in my life. which is way to many. Could you imagine how much nicer life would be if we got rid of some if not all of these trait.

• Rudeness – When a person is rude it means that they are offensive, embarrassing and impolite.  
• Toxic people are manipulative. The toxic and manipulating person are able to get people to do what they want them to do. They have the mindset that it is all about them. They will do whatever they need to do in order to accomplish their goal.
• Selfishness: Selfishness can somewhat fit into the toxic person who is also manipulated. They have their wheels turning in their little heads as they plot and scheme. They are uncaring and they always have the “Me First” trait. They wouldn’t think of sacrificing anything for anyone and they do expect things in return.
• Conceited –  When a person is conceited it means that they have a high opinion of themselves. They are fast to point out how small others are and how great they are.
• Not Responsible: The have no intention of taking responsibility for themselves. They are fast to point out the faults of others, They take no responsibility for their own feelings.
• Unreliable –  When a person is unreliable, that means that they can’t be depended on. I have known way to many people who have fallen into this category. After a few times of being burned, I have learned that I can’t rely on them for showing up or doing what they have said they would do. There have been times I was supposed to be somewhere and I never made it. 

While there are times that I don’t want to be nice and I am teetering on the I want to hit someone over the head with a hammer kind of thought, I realize that isn’t what I should be doing. I do have a temper and I go off once in a while, I strive to be more like Christ.

There are many areas that I need to work on in my life. There have been people at church who have come up to be and would say how nice I am and how I would never say this or that. I just want to say that I am human and I do make mistakes.

Now I want to take a look at what the Bible says about being kind.

Throughout the Bible we are commanded  to be kind (Gal 5:22; Eph 4:32; Col 3:12), even to our enemies (Lk 6:35). I’m willing to bet that the reason for God wanting us to be kind is because He is kind Himself, even when there are people who are ungrateful and aren’t kind at all and may even border on wickedness. (Lk 6:36).

• Galatians 5:22 (NIV) – ²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
• Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) – ³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
• Colossians 3:12 (NIV) –¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
• Luke 6:35-36 (NIV) – ³⁵ But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.³⁶ Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

There are many who feel that their salvation depends on their good works and deeds. I hate to burst anyone’s bubble, but it doesn’t happen like that. We can only be saved because of God’s grace—an expression of God’s kindness.

 How  can we practice kindness in our own lives? 

1. One of the ways I try to intentionally focus my life on being kind to others is by examining how I interact with others. I ask myself a couple of questions. The first one I ask is how is it that I have been kind to others and the other is for God to let me know how I have been unkind to others.
2. For me, I like to list ways that I may be able to help others and then set in motion ways to reach those who are lost and lonely. It doesn’t take very much to show kindness to others.
3. One of the most important tools I use when it comes to examining my heart and being kind to others is to pray. One way you can start is to pray and ask God to show His love and kindness through you this week.
4.  Now may be a good time to ask God’s Holy Spirit to show you the areas in your life where you need to change or improve on being kind to others. I do want to say that if you ask God to reveal the areas you need help, be ready for an answer. I have found that He is always ready to help me come to terms with the things I have done in my life which would include the good, bad and the ugly. Once you ask him about what areas you need to improve on, be ready to act upon His answer and be willing to accept help to overcome those areas.

I want to share a link with you all that you may find interesting. As I was writing this blog post, a local country artist came to mind. His name is Eric Dodge. I have noticed over the past few years that his life and messages has turned into inspiration and kindness. He wrote a book called, “Why Not Today?” Part of the description on the book says”…let go of our fears, let go of what is holding us back, and just let go of what we cannot change. We have one life to live. Why not see what we can do with it? Why not face our fears! And, Why Not Today? Are you ready to begin your journey with me? There is no better time to face our fears and chase our dreams.” I’m bringing this up because he was letting fear hold him back from being the person that God intended him to be.

I think many times we humans have a way of not stepping out of our comfort zone. Fear seems to take precedence over making a difference in other people’s lives and in our own. Now may be a good time to practice kindness in our lives and in the lives of those around us.

May the Lord be with you this week as you seek to be kind to others!

My husband and I stopped doing Valentines a long time ago.  I know it must sound pretty crazy that we don’t make a big day because it is the day of love. If people want to celebrate the day, that is fine. Each person has a right to do that. But I don’t need a specific day to tell let those I love know that I love them.  I find that days like Valentines are way to commercialized. I don’t see February 14th as a day of love. I see it as a day when the florists and candy makers are making a mint of people.

I get nothing out of someone giving me a gift, card or whatever else because they feel like they are obligated. Instead we enjoy doing things for each other to surprise them with gifts or spending time together throughout the year.

When I worked at Lins Marketplace and would help with flowers and balloons, I can’t even count how many husbands and boyfriends would come in looking for anything and everything just to keep them out of the doghouse. They would point out how their loved ones told them if they didn’t buy roses, candies, teddy bears or balloons, the might as well not come home. I felt bad for the men who thought they would be heading to divorce court if they didn’t buy something for the quote unquote person that they love. I would prefer to get nothing instead of my husband feeling like he has to give me something.

I can’t talk about this day without sharing some history about it. I was actually surprised to find out that most people don’t know that this day is named for Saint Valentine or Valentines. While I do find that a little sad, it is understandable. Here in the US, we don’t talk about Saint Valentine much. This holiday is all about love (well, love, candy, flowers, and food!). If you would like to learn more about the history of Valentines, Click Here. 

I never really thought much about Valentines day and how it can be hard on some people. My daughter came home from school one day and she was in tears. Her sister received a number of Valentines cards and also had a date for the night. My other daughter didn’t. I was wondering why she was so upset. She and I had a talk and she was depressed because she felt nobody cared about her and that nobody loved her. I took this very seriously.

Valentines Day for the most part focuses entirely on love and romantic relationships. It is great for those who are in a romantic relations, but for those who aren’t it is a source of depression and many may isolate themselves.   Many people who doesn’t have a Valentines may find it more difficult to go to work, school  because of others getting chocolates or roses delivered to those around them. For most single people it could be a minor inconvenience, but for others who suffer from depression or other mental illnesses the feelings of isolation and loneliness could be much worse.

I was reading up on how Valentines Day is a source of depression for many. Here is a bit of information on how to deal with depression and isolation.

Fighting Valentine’s Day depression (src, Sovereign Health of California)

The time during and after Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be depressing. Here are five things anyone can do to beat depression year-round:

• Have perspective. Valentine’s Day isn’t an official holiday; nobody’s being commanded to be involved with another person. If you’re alone and beating yourself up, have a day where you’re good to yourself for once.
• Focus on giving love rather than receiving it. The love people feel is often the love they give to the rest of the world. Volunteering could be a good outlet.
• Think of the people close to you. Be it family members or friends, not every relationship needs to be romantic to be fulfilling. Anyone with friends is fortunate, and a strong social safety net is helpful in fighting depression.
• Be in the present. Don’t think about relationships that ended poorly – they’re history and over with. Also, don’t think about future relationships or fantasies about someone you’re not involved with.
• Get exercise. Get out of the house and stay active. Exercise releases endorphins, which can lift moods.

While I was blowing up balloons at my work place a customer told me that her husband better get her something for Valentines or she is considering leaving her. She would not be humiliated if he forgot. It wasn’t like she wanted a small bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates. What she wanted would have costed her husband well over $100.00. The roses alone would have been $89.00. She wanted the best of the best. I actually became angry with her and called her a shallow person.

A few years ago a friend of mine was commenting on how excited she was about Valentines day. She was super excited and I asked her why. She told me that it is because her husband always gets her something good. There was no mention of how she was excited to spend time with her hubby or how much she loved him.  She had no plans on getting him anything. She was all about what she was going to get.

I don’t understand why a woman would think it is OK to put their husband or boyfriend in that position. I don’t want to include everyone in this comment. I think there are some genuine guys out there who wants to  shower their loved ones with gifts. By why is it that these gestures have to be for one particular day?

What I would like to say to those women who thinks that nobody loves them because they didn’t get a stupid heart-shaped box of chocolates or a rose that will die, you are worth more than that. I don’t need a candy or gifts to tell me how someone feels about me. I would think that spending time together with each and everyday is invaluable.Gifts are nice once in a while, but I don’t have to have a gift to tell me how valuable I am.  We just understand that we value our time together each and every day.

In closing, I don’t want to say that Valentines Day is a bad day, I won’t judge others if they choose to celebrate it. For those who have a Valentine it is a good day to reflect and look closer at your relationship. I would say that it is a good day to remember why you have fallen in love the first place and it is a good day to do something nice for one another.

Mainly I want to say to each person is that each and every one of us has a Valentine and that is Jesus Christ. He is better than any box of chocolate or vase of roses.

Father to Son

by James S. Black

Oh, my Son, do you know
The gifts I will someday bestow
Upon my children if they will obey
And upon the straight and narrow stay?

You say you want to be the one
That makes known the value of “The Son”?
You’ll be ridiculed, beaten, striped, and scorned.
Of all my children, please be warned
Only you will be left completely alone.
You’ll discover the way and lead others along.

You will go to earth as a little child.
You’ll grow and learn to be meek and mild.
And if you do; if you teach them well,
You’ll keep them away from the grasp of hell.
There are blessings to gain, lessons to learn
Plans to make, and mansions to earn.

Be strong, my Son, you will be,
The one to work and oversee
My work on earth and on other worlds.
The gospel you’ll cause to be unfurled.

You’ll give to me all the glory.
You’ll live the tale and tell the story,
So others can enjoy the peace of mind
That faith and happiness can be refined.
They’ll come to know what went before
When they pass through heaven’s sacred door.

All this, my Son, you will endure.
You’ll lead the way, be very sure
That all my children have heard the plan,
Each one throughout all the lands.

When all the words which I have spoke
Have come to pass we will envoke
The ordinances that will bring to pass
The End; the world will be turned as if to glass.
And I will say to You, my son,
“It’s done, Jehova. Well done.”

© 2017, James Skouson Black

Romans 12:2, Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

I have been working on this blog post for a while. A couple of things brought me to the point of finishing this post up and I am hoping that I don’t offend to many. I also hope that this post doesn’t become a battle royal. The first thing today that happened was a dear friend of ours posted this status on his Facebook page.

• (Jim Black) I am going to step away from political discourse for the time being. It is hard for me to maintain a spiritual demeanor and be politically active at the same time. Therefore, I shall not read or respond to politically charged posts until further notice. Thanks for your support.

The second thing that happened was that I was watching a sermon o my ROKU. I subscribe to a channel that is about the For those who don’t know what ROKU is, it’s a little box that we have hooked up to our television. You have to have WiFi to be able to use it. Instead of having cable, we watch our shows by streaming. You can watch the sermons through ROKU or you can watch the sermons on YouTube or on their website. Oro Valley Church of the Nazarene. The sermons are titled Reset.

One of the comments that Pastor Craig said was, “Renewing your mind, takes a lot of time and it takes time. Time is your friend, renewing your mind takes time, time is your friend. You never broke the old habits. if you don’t take off the old before you put on the new, the new will peel off.”

The sermon along with Jim’s helped me get my thoughts together in a more positive way. Originally this blog post was going to be about how worried and stressed I have been over Trump. When I was supposed to be sleeping or doing other normal things that needs to be done, I was stressing over Trump. I have also been taking many comments personal. It isn’t like those that I know on Facebook such as  friends, family members, my church has family said anything negative to me or about me. At least that I know of, but I have spent countless hours venting internally over some things our government and society has been doing. My mind is far from finding any sense of peace.

When I should have been sleeping, my mind has been running through various actions that have consumed my mind. I would and still do look back at the words that people have been saying about those who they consider “liberals” just because those that didn’t vote for Trump have been labeled as, “baby killers, on welfare, same-sex marriage, no morals and so on. There is a long list when it comes to what people think. liberals are.

It isn’t just coming from the Republicans, it is also coming from the Democrats. Democrats  have said over and over again about how peaceful they are. Yet, they are the ones destroying property and saying vulgar things all in the name of standing together. I watched both of the conventions for Trump and for Clinton. I think back to when Michelle Obama said .”while they go low, we go high.” I don’t see any of this going on. I guess in some ways, yes, but for the most part the actions are low. Things don’t make sense in my brain when it comes to all of the chaos that is going on in the world. I don’t have the answers, well, The only answer I have is Jesus Christ.

I have had some people assume that I am a liberal because I didn’t vote for Trump. I believe that each and every person has the right to vote for the person they think would be the best man or woman for the job.  It isn’t my job to judge those who don’t agree with me. Although, I will be the first one to post a fact checked article over false news. I wanted Carson and then he dropped out and then I decided on Kasich. He stood for the things that meant the most for me.

As, I was reading the post that Jim Black wrote and the sermon I was listening to from Oro Valley Church of the Nazarene, I decided the best approach I could take was to see what God’s Words say. I have always believed that the Bible gives us all of the answers. We just have to be willing to look for it and then accept the truths that God has given us.

So, what does the Bible have to  say about government and politics. I have found that the Bible is pretty clear when it comes to the government. Which also includes education, helping those in need, private property and welfare.

 

Here are some verses that I have found on this subject;

• Proverbs 8:15, 16 , By me kings reign and rulers issue decrees that are just; by me princes govern, and nobles—all who rule on earth.  Since the Bible is the inspired Word of God, it is pretty safe to say that the government should use wisdom to rule and to make laws that are just.
• 1 Timothy 5:3-16 , ³ Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. ⁴ But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. Read More…
• 2 Thessalonians 3:6-15, ⁶ In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers and sisters, to keep away from every believer who is idle and disruptive and does not live according to the teaching^[a] you received from us. ⁷ For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you, ⁸ nor did we eat anyone’s food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. Read More… 
• Proverbs 28:2-4 and 29:4 urges rulers to maintain order justly, to follow God’s moral code and to avoid oppressing the poor.

After reading up on all the things government wise and such, it is pretty easy to see that when people are in need of help, they should come to their families first and then to those they may know. If all else has failed, they go to the church and other sources. People should work for a living and not become dependent on others. I haven’t found any place in the Bible where it says that the government is the one responsible for taking care of others. It also doesn’t say that the government is to take care of the poor and needy by using public funds/taxes  from those who are paying taxes.

So, what does the government and the chaos that is going on around us have to do with renewing of our minds? To change your life, you must change the way you think. Behind everything you do is a thought. Every behavior is motivated by a belief, and every action is prompted by an attitude.

• Ephesians 4:23, to be made new in the attitude of your minds; Change always starts first in the mind. The way you think determines the way you feel, and the way you feel influences the way you act, which means “there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes”

Those who are in the government aren’t  the savior of the world. Jesus Christ is the salvation for all of mankind. God knew that the world needed to be saved long before Trump or an other politician. Redemption can not be accomplished  because of politics or the power of man. Salvation of mankind is accomplished only through Jesus Christ, faith, grace and love. “Love our neighbors as ourselves” and “strive for justice and peace among all people and respect the dignity of every human being.”

This is a bit of a vent for me. I am so tired of seeing posts and images that are hateful. The judging of others are out of hand and there is a huge division in our country. Half of the people on my Facebook page are Trump supporters. Then there are those who are Clinton supporters. Then there is the Independents who votes for the person, not the party. I am an Independent and I find it very degrading when I read comments from those who are Christian and yet they are the ones posting pictures and comments that are photo shopped and not true. I find some of them disgusting and I take them personally.

With all of the horrible things that are being posted, I have decided that it is best to take a hiatus from Facebook. I am finding myself livid over some of the things that are said and done. It really upsets me when people post things and don’t check things out. Anyone who knows how to google can find out what is truth and what is fiction. All of the pictures that have hateful quotes can be checked out.

I had a friend come over to my house and I was showing her how to use Facebook. She just recently got her own computer, so I decided to show her how to add friends and such. I also showed her how to put friends in groups. I have my settings where certain people can read anything I post and see pictures. When I showed her how to set up the “family” group and I showed her some of those on that list, she was sickened by what she was reading when it came to the political views of some. Then I went to show her the group I have set up that is labeled “Christians”. Lets say she was shocked by what she was reading and wanted to know what kind of Christian would say the things they were saying. I had no answer for her.

I have been witnessing to this young woman for some time and for her to see what family members and Christian friends were posting about political things, she questioned me about what kind of Christian would say those kinds of things. Of course I told her that there is no perfect Christian and that we are saved. Then we got onto the discussion of forgiveness. I told her that if she asks to be forgiven, then she will be. But she has to be sincere. I also told her that if you are going to keep doing the same thing over and over again, then she needs to be praying for guidance and help. Which is something I pray for when it comes to a few things.

Christians have an obligation to be an example for other Christians and for those who don’t know Jesus. We can either be a good example or a bad one. You can’t be both. Christians who are walking with Christ needs to be good examples because I can guarantee you that there are people watching and there is also a great deal of spiritual warfare going on. I totally feel like that is what has been going on lately.

We Are- Kari Jobe 

Part of the Lyrics

We are the light of the world
We are the city on a hill
We are the light of the world
We gotta, we gotta, we gotta let the light shine
We are the light of the world
We are the city on a hill
We are the light of the world
We gotta, we gotta, we gotta let the light shine, let the light shine, let the light shine

I’m trying to not be judgmental when it comes to what others say, share and write. That is easier said than done. It’s difficult to keep my composure when I read some of the things I have read over this past year. To say that I am shocked is an understatement for sure. It’s easy to lash out at them and in a sense I am since I am thinking about it. Like right now, I am writing this blog and it is because I read a shared picture that was about how anyone who didn’t vote for Trump must be an evil person and Satan’s spawn. I am paraphrasing what it said, but that is the short description. Now, this is coming from a person who professes to be a Christian.

Since I didn’t vote for Trump and I voted with my conscience and went with Kasich, he is basically saying that I am and others that didn’t vote for Trump is pure evil and is destined to go to hell. Now, while I am obviously upset, I also realize that  I must take the high road, because the other road would make it easy to knock him upside the head.

I honestly don’t think people consider that what comes out of our mouth can and does cause damage. It ruins friendships, breaks up families and causes misunderstandings since there is a wall that has been constructed. I know that we all have been guilty of saying hurtful things. I know I am guilty of this over and over. My tongue gets me into a ton of trouble.

There comes a time when we must or I have to be mindful that what we say and do can damage and cause divisions that may not be able to be repaired. Some may have heard that it is better to not say anything if you can’t say anything nice. A lot of the things we say and post on social media is probably best left unsaid.

• Psalm 19:14, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”
• Proverbs 15:1  We shouldn’t be talking to each other in a harsh manner. We should be truthful and kind to one another: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
• Ephesians 4:29“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
• Proverbs 17:9,  When we tall to others is shouldn’t be bringing down other people, instead it should be building others up. “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.”
• Luke 6:45, The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”
• Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
• 1 Corinthians 10:31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

I always check to make sure whatever someone posts is true. 9 times out of 10 they are false. I have actually been considering taking a break from social media. When all the hateful messages and untruths are posted, I find it disgusting. I have found that even in my own family that there are those who don’t think about what they are posting.I was going to share some of the comments, and then I decided that there has been enough negativity going around to chock a horse.

As a Christian, I try to ask myself “What Would Jesus Do?” Would Jesus post some of the comments that are posted all over Facebook. When I see posts from those who are believers in Christ, it breaks my heart in two. I have a really hard time when I talk to those who I am closest to and find out that what they think and believe is far from what Jesus would want us to be and say.

• Matthew 7:12, So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you,for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
• Matthew 5:16  In the same way, you should be a light for other people. Live so that they will see the good things you do and praise your Father in heaven.

I can’t even count how many times people are shocked that I would be part of a protest or march. When I watch peaceful marches, it inspires me to stand up for injustices in the world and to make it a better place. I can’t change all of the world, but I can make a difference for a few people. When I hear people mocking those who march and stand up for themselves, I get rather upset. Even if I don’t agree, they still have rights. I find it sad and demeaning when I read some posts on Facebook that belittles those who are marching. When I read hateful remarks from people who I always considered loving and kind, it is like someone sucker punched me. Not all democrats are evil and not all democrats believe in abortion. People are very judgmental and hateful.

In closing I just want to say,  we should be mindful when it comes to our behavior. Social media can be a good thing or a bad thing. People from all over the world is watching to see if our actions matches our faith, if our walk matches what we are saying .

I am on Hiatus from Facebook because of all the hateful words and  conversations from Republicans, Democrates and those who think it is OK to spread hate… But I will be back.

I was just thinking about how it is that someone has a hard time when it comes to accepting love and such.

I have a very dear person that I love so very much. I won’t go into names. But, for most of her life she has never felt like she deserves to have the security and love that all others have gotten or strive for.

I feel really bad for her because she has become the caregiver and the expendable one in her family. She finally gets it all together and things are working out for her and then something happens. She has never really had a home of her own for quite some time. When she gets to the point of getting on the right track, someone will come along and want her to stop what she is doing and run to their aid.

My brother-in-law is like this. Craig has had his own place off and on, but if someone were to call him up and say they need help, he would drop everything and run to that person. He took care of his grandma for years. He had no life because he did everything for her. After that, he moved to Tucson, AZ to care for his parents. There was very little gratitude. He had his own place and moved out of it so he could be there for them. Even while he was being harped on, he still helped out. All of his things went into storage. He is now retired and has never married and doesn’t really have anything.

The other person that this blog has done much of the same thing. She had her own place, moved out of it to go live with her parents. She had a good paying job and dropped everything to go help out. While the person she was caring for was grateful, there still was some pretty major bickering and fighting.

As soon as her mom died, she left the house and had nothing left. No job, home or food. While I thinking caring for those who can’t care for themselves is something we all should do. But, there are those who will take and take till there is no more.

There is a great deal of demands on those who are caregivers and it can be overwhelming, especially when you have no say so and it is as if you are in quick sand. The stress that she had has taken a toll on her health, state of mind and in a sense relationships. She was beyond the point of being burned out.

She was burned out and was having problems doing anything. While she was helping everyone else, she lost herself and plummeted into a deep depression. It’s OK to take care of others, but there comes a time when you have to take care of your own needs. She deserves to have joy and peace just as much as anyone else does.

She has given of herself for her entire life. I do think she is at a point where she realizes that she has to make a difference in her own life in order to find any real sense of happiness. While caring for others is rewarding, it has also caused stress and anxiety. The type of stress that she has experienced in her lifetime will have long-term effects on her. I worry a great deal about her. It’s as if she has no hope that things will get better when it comes to family members and so-called obligations. The type of stresses that care givers experience is damaging and disheartening.

I personally feel that there are relationships in her life that is toxic. I know for myself, I had to walk away from some friends and family members that were toxic to me. I was feeling physically and emotionally drained.

This friend of mine is in need of emotional support so she can deal with her depression and anxiety. There are times when she emotionally breaks down and ends up having panic attacks. I told her that there isn’t anything wrong with taking care of herself. I wholeheartedly think that if she was able to get her life stable and if people would stop badgering her to do this or that, that she would find inner peace. There comes a point when you have to break this vicious cycle and do what is best for her, not everyone else.

I know it sounds easy to say and I know it isn’t easy, but there comes a time when you shouldn’t let taking care of everyone take priority over your life. I would love to see her find something that will make her happy. She does enjoy doing for others and she finds joy in that. I think it would be awesome if she could just step back for a bit and find something that gives her a purpose.

I would like to tell her to “let go of the guilt”. You have done everything humanly possible. I have been guilty of guilt-tripping others. Eventually I learned that it causes a great deal of resentment on both sides of the fence. It shouldn’t be done, and unfortunately it still happens. Some of the things that others have said in order to manipulate the person is” don’t worry about me, I can do it, I have been doing it all anyhow, so why stop now?”

There  has been countless conversations when it comes to using guilt trips as a means to get the person to do what they want. When guilt is being used, it destroys the relationship. When guilt is being used, it is never an act of unconditional love. It is a means to hurt and break down the person. Unfortunately it happens in relationships and in families. When someone uses guilt , suffering and resentment is going to follow.

My advice to this dear person that I can’t use her name is to tell her that there is hope. I would say that there isn’t anyone that is perfect and there will never be someone with a perfect life.

She has a longing to find a place of her own. Now is the best time to take back her life. Be the person that you know you can be and be the person God intended you to be. What she wants is nothing grand and is nothing that she can’t do. She wants to live under her own rules, with her own things. She wants to go to bed when she wants and fix her own meals without feeling like she has to ask permission. There is nothing wrong with her wanting the kind of normal life that most everyone else has.

If I were her I would make sure to make it a point to let those who want to use guilt and manipulate her to end that pattern. She is a married adult who has never been able to really live her life in the way she has desired. She is dispensable and for some reason, they feel that she can give up her hopes and dreams in order for them to have the hopes and dreams they want. I am very proud of her for standing her ground. It isn’t an easy feat at all. Her whole life has been to please everyone and not make waves. I say, make all the waves you want. You deserve to be happy and you are just as important as anyone else is.

Now is the time to take your life back and now is the time to realize that you don’t have to keep running. Now is the time to realize that you are loved by many and that God loves you unconditionally.

I would recommend reading about the signs of a toxic person… Click here to read… 

When you hit like or share on images on Facebook, it isn’t as innocent as it seems.  When you hit share or like on military pictures, sick kids, abused animals, how can you not want to share or like the picture.Scammers are out there to play on your emotions.   I have been guilty of sharing and liking and then it comes and bites me in the hinney.

I am willing to bet that if you have Facebook, you have seen people post images that are directing a person to share a post that has sad little eyes of puppies, kids or whatever else that tugs at your feelings.  I think today I have seen at least 20 shares that say’s ” I bet I won’t get any likes” and it will have an older person, dog, babies or what ever cute picture. How can you say you like them, without constantly liking a post. You will also see posts where it says to comment “amen” and you will be blessed. You may think that sharing is innocent and fun, but the hidden dangers are lurking. Below is a little bit of a highlight.

(Source US Today)-Facebook has changed the way people do a lot of things online. For example, you probably notice yourself reflexively clicking “like” on anything your friends post on Facebook, even if it’s just to acknowledge you saw it. Scammers are taking advantage of that reflex for a dangerous scam called “like-farming.”

Like-farming is when scammers post an attention-grabbing story on Facebook for the express purpose of cultivating likes and shares. Based on the way Facebook works, the more likes and shares a post has, the more likely it is to show up in people’s News Feeds.  

It’s a common sight on Facebook: people posting images, videos or statuses and asking users to like or comment on them. The posts usually contain some sort of promise, like Hey Facebook, As some of you know, I’m Bill Gates. If you click and share this link, I will give you $5,000.00. I always deliver. I mean, I brought you Windows XP, Right? Let me tell you what happens, “Nothing”. well, besides giving the person more likes. You may think they are fun and may seem innocent, but they are actually a kind of scam called “Like Farming”.

The way they work is to get enough likes on a Facebook page. Most of these pages aren’t what they seem and are devious. Once they start getting more and more likes, you will begin to see other things in your news feeds. If you look at the top of the post, you will see the pages. Those who are on Facebook should be careful on what they like. Only like things that you are sure of and that you know the person. For example, if I posted a picture of my grand-kids or dogs, they are coming directly from me. But, if I were to share a post from an unknown source, I am basically helping them to rack up likes so they can get more likes and they have the potential to scam me or others.

On Facebook they have some new features that will open yourself up to potential attacks on your computer by spreading malware. When you see things all of a sudden pop up on your page right after you were searching for something, that is malware. I posted a link  to CNN’s page about the dangers. If you read nothing else, please read that.

You can read about more of the dangers of clicking like and sharing of images.  CNN has a good article, Click Here to read. 

11 Hoaxes on Facebook- This list is from 2014, but they are still in existence.

Pulling at Christians Heart Strings

The ones that gets me the most are the ones that talk about Jesus and prayers. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jesus and that will never change. Now, if you are on Facebook, you will see pictures that will ask you to like the picture or comment of you will go to hell. The one I have seen the most of is, “My Dad says if I get 1 million likes I can come back.” The sad thing about this is that people actually believe it.  I have seen a variety of faith-based pictures that they want you to share or to copy and paste something. I can guarantee you that Jesus will be coming back and it isn’t because someone hit liked on a picture. All you need to do is read the Bible and pay attention to what is going on in our world.

Chain letters get under my skin. I can’t even count how many times I will either get a private message that says something like this; “just forward this email to 20 of your closest friends and you will be happy, or rich, or blessed.” Chain letters have been around for a very long time. When I was a kid, we would do chain letters. If we didn’t pass it on, then something horrible would happen and we would have a curse. Eventually I grew up and realized that nothing is going to happen to me. If it did, it wasn’t because I didn’t pass on a chain letter.

Some of the ones that gets me and it boggles my mind that people who are Christian would send these out to others. Most of the time the person thinks it is harmless. I guess I don’t have much of a sense of humor when it comes to things like this. But, here is a few things I have received;

• “If you love Jesus, send this to at least 10 people including the person who sent it to you!

What I am getting from this is that if I don’t do as instructed and send it to 10 different people then I don’t really love Jesus and in return it would imply that He doesn’t love me.

• Pssttt, hey you. Yeah I mean You. If you have taken a minute to read this. The angels have seen your struggling with something.  The angels say its over now and a blessing is coming your way.  If you believe in angels then please send this message on to  those who many need it. Please don’t ignore it, you are being tested.  The angels are going to fix two (big) things in your favour.  If you believe in angels then follow your heart and share.

I totally  believe in angels. I have even had a couple of experiences where they have protected me. But, it is God is the one testing us, not angels. Gods messengers(angels) are not the ones in control and testing me, it is God.

• “Forward this to 10 people and God will answer your prayer in 24 hours.”

I’m all for sharing what Jesus has done in my life . But, I don’t think it is a good idea to go about sharing Jesus in this way. To me it seems like it is more of a “superstition” kind of thing.  Of course as a Christian and believer in Christ,  Jesus should be shared, but not in a threatening and superstitious way.

Ways to protect yourself

1. If it looks like something is too good to be true, it probably is.
2. Be careful about giving permissions  when you do quizzes. I am guilty of sharing quiz results.  Quizzes were shared over 16 million times in a weekend, gathered the personal information, friends list, IP addresses and device information from millions of users. This is something I am no longer going to do.
3. It may be a good idea to get out of the habit of liking everything. especially if it asks you to like or share, and offers you a reward for doing so allows Facebook to collect information about your likes and dislikes. It is a way to track what you do and by doing so, you will start seeing advertising and pop-ups that are similar to your likes.
4. Multimedia is one of those things that I have to work on limiting unless I know the source.  The most common scams to avoid are viral videos and giveaways. I can’t even count how many people I know who have scams happen because of games, quizzes and contests. When you enter these contests or view certain videos, you are giving out a bunch of information.Since I do websites I can tell you that when you come to a site or watch a video, it is easy to find out your IP address, browser, location and other personal information. Unless you know the person or it is a reputable company or person, then it may be best to stay clear and fight the urge.

Do You Remember?

It may seem innocent to click and share images from when you were younger like  rotary dial phones, Tupperware, cars that had the bright light switch on the floor and so on, it is a tool that people use to build up likes so they can make money. Then there is the ones who wants you to copy and paste whatever it is for at least an hour to show awareness for whatever it is. Or, you have the ones where it says, “do you know what this is?” Usually those are items I do remember and some I still use but, those have a way of making me feel old.

In closing, my own advice would be to only share things that you know are true. There are many lies out there and most of what you see on Facebook is a lie or embellished. When I think about what I am sharing, I do my best to make sure it is legit. If there is a cute picture that I like, I will save it to my computer and then post it. I only share stories from reputable and trusted websites.

I also make sure to not accept forwards and I don’t add people who I don’t know or wasn’t recommended by others. You can never be too careful when it comes to the internet.

I’m pretty sure that this blog will get some people upset, but, I am just needing to vent on this subject just this once.

Ever since the presidential election took place here in the United States, there has been chaos from all sides. I can’t even begin to count how many people assume that I am a Republican and that I had to vote on Trump because I am a Christian. They would say things such as even though they don’t like him, they thought he was the lesser of two evils. The way I see it, evil is evil. If it were up to me I would have voted for John Kasich. But, since it doesn’t really matter if you vote or not, it wouldn’t have mattered one way or another since it is the electoral college that actually decides.

Then I would have people either say directly or post on Facebook that they are voting for Trump because of how he is pro-life and because of who is going to be the new incoming Supreme Court Justice. I am pro-life, I get it, and I get how it is important to have the right people in the Supreme Court. Those two things are the only positives that I can see when it comes to voting for someone who has strong Christian values.

I have stayed out of discussions ever since the elections. I am so fed up with all of the horrible things that Trump has said. When I hear and see people comment about how anyone who wouldn’t have voted for Trump is pure evil and should be sent to hell, I have a problem with that. I can’t stomach listening to Kelly Ann Conway. I have turned off the news because it seem’s like all I hear is garbage coming from her and all the so-called tweets.

When I hear people say that people should just look past the words and say things such as “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me.” I don’t get how people can push aside what he has said and the hate spewed words that come from him. Words in my opinion is harsher and can destroy a person. Try telling a person who has been emotionally beaten down that words don’t matter. Try telling a very dear young man who decided it was better to kill himself since he was told he was worthless and never would amount to anything. Tell another young man who was like a nephew to me that he is better of dead in his mind and decided it is OK to hang himself. Tell the parents who found him hanging that the words that drove him to do such a thing that words never hurt and to get over it.

I can go on and on about how words won’t hurt a person and to just deal with it and move on. Not everyone can do that. As I listened to these so-called words that was coming from Trump I felt ill to my stomach. When my sister is listening to what he is saying with tears rolling down her face and she is getting emotionally upset that it doesn’t matter and to get on with her life. Words and messages that Trump said are words that can destroy.

A friend of mine came over and was watching the news and was listening to what he was saying about the women who accused him of groping them and how he treated them in such a harsh way became distraught. I didn’t realize that she was groped at a party and then it turned into rape. I could tell she was getting upset and I asked her if she needed to talk. She was saying that she felt the same way that some of these other ladies that were groped. She never turned in the person who did it because she knew that nobody would listen since the guy was well-known and from a good family. She lived with this secret her entire life.

If you were to ask someone who has gone through things like rape, bullying,emotional and physical abuse, then go up to them and let them know that they should just forget about it like it never happened. I can tell you from experience that words do hurt and I would take a broken bone any day over someone who has mentally abused me.

Try telling my sister who has gone through so much trauma from when she was a baby and has had to deal with depression, suicidal through and has night terrors from the things that happened to her. Woman and people have come forward and faced their fears and the way they were treated is appalling.

I had a friend that was raped and when she came forward, she was treated like it was her fault. I don’t get how it is OK to treat women the way Trump has treated women and then call it locker room banter! I don’t get how being a racist is OK! I don’t get why people are OK with anything Trump said about others who may not look like a super model!  I use to watch his show many years ago until he decided he was going to go out and share his thoughts on the whole Obama birther thing. I don’t get how he can lump Hispanics together and calling them rapists and drug dealers. I just don’t get so many things.

I don’t like Rosie O’Donnell, but what he said about her makes me sick. I took his statement personally because I am not skinny. And he for sure isn’t skinny and yet he said to Rosie or about her, “If I were running ‘The View’, I’d fire Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, I’d look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say ‘Rosie, you’re fired.’”

I have witnessed and I know a few people and some family members who have been sexually molested by another family member or a friend. And for Trump to say, “I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her” made me sick to my stomach. One of my cousins was raped by her father and her brother because she was pretty. She tried to get help and even talked to a pastor of her church. A sheriff lived in the house next door and yet nothing was done. It was all swept under the carpet. I’m not saying Trump did anything to Ivanka, what I am saying is that I find it disgusting that he would even think or say something like that begin with.

I think anyone has a right to vote for the person they think would be the best president for our country. I have no problem respecting who they vote for. As you can tell Trump did not get my vote. I wrote in Kasich because I don’t see him as a person who is the lesser of the two evils. I refuse to vote for anyone that is evil and narcissistic. I have no right to judge others for who they voted for and if that was for Trump, then fine. But people shouldn’t assume that I did, because I did not. I have stated the reasons why I haven’t.

My daughter was telling me the other day that I shouldn’t feel the way I feel and to give him a chance to prove himself. This is one of those times for me when I have to put it in Gods hands, because I have a great deal of negative thoughts on what is going on in our country. Many are optimistic and I am not there right now. I wish people would stop assuming that I “have to” embrace him. Then some assume since I am Christian, that I should hold my nose and vote for him. That is NOT how I see things, but like I said, I do respect what each person feels. This is just something that God is going to have to work on my heart.

I will be praying for our country and for our leaders. I have a great deal of stress and worry over what may be coming our way. My hope is in Jesus Christ only. He is the only one who is going to be saving the day. My prayer is for Jesus Christ to come soon. I have a really bad feeling on things and I only see things get worse. Normally I don’t feel this way during presidential elections. There is always going to be someone winning and someone losing. In this election cycle, I don’t see either winning. This is not a win win situation in my thoughts.

I have never felt emotionally spent and drained as I have with this election. I know most won’t or can’t understand where I am coming from, but it is what it is. I didn’t realize how this election affected me until I was talking to a friend and he was so excited that Trump won. He thought Trump was going to be riding into town on a white horse and save the day. He tried to give me a hug and asked me about how excited I was.

I stepped back at that point and I just let him know exactly what I thought. I don’t think he was prepared since he assumed I voted for Trump.He also asked me if I was going to watch the inauguration.  I ended up lashing out to him in a way that shocked him. I didn’t swear out loud, but I am pretty sure there were some colorful words in my heart and mind. I actually shocked myself. This is going to be one of those things I have to pray on and have God soften my heart since He is the only one that can.

I hope this blog post hasn’t been offensive to others. This is how I feel and it isn’t really about anyone other than myself and my own thinking. If you are offended, well, I guess you can be. You own your own feelings just as much as I do.

Today, I was watching a movie on Pureflix called Polycarp. While watching the show, it reminded me of how many people from the Bible that I know very little about. We hear a lot about Matthew, Paul, Luke, Moses and so many others. But, Polycarp feel under my radar when it came to those in the Bible.

I think it would be interesting to learn more about those who aren’t really talked about.

Polycarp trailer

In the show there is a young girl named Anna. She was a slave and was adopted by a Christian and she became friends with Bishop Polycarp. Anna was being taught by Polycarp in the show. In the show Anna struggled with her beliefs and those who were Christians around her. I’m guessing Anna is just a character on the show, but Polycarp was a real man and a disciple of the Apostle John. When he was older in his 80’s he became the bishop of the  Church at Smyrna in Asia Minor which is currently Turkey.

During those days there was persecution of Christians. I don’t think persecution in that part of the world has ever ended. During these times though Christians and believers would be killed in the Coliseum. Polycarp was taken custody for refusing to bow down and call Caesar “lord.” Officials asked Polycarp to recant his faith. Polycarp was then asked “What harm would it be to say that Caesar is lord ?” He then went on to say “how can I blaspheme my King who saved me.”  Since he wouldn’t renounce his faith,  Polycarp bravely went to his death in the Coliseum.

Death by fire

(source; Christianity.com) The fire was prepared. Polycarp lifted his eyes to heaven and prayed: “Father, I bless you that you have deemed me worthy of this day and hour, that I might take a portion of the martyrs in the cup of Christ. . . Among these may I today be welcome before thy face as a rich and acceptable sacrifice.”

As the fire engulfed him, the believers noted that it smelled not so much like flesh burning as a loaf baking. He was finished off with the stab of a dagger. His followers gathered his remains like precious jewels and buried them on February 22, a day they set aside to be remembered. The year was probably 155 A.D.. In the strange way known to the eyes of faith, it was as much a day of triumph as it was a day of tragedy.

There is a lot of information out there and is something I will have to read up on since this is the first time I have ever heard of Polycarp. Polycarp was the last one of those personally taught by the apostles.  Some of the information that I found is  Based upon  some records from when he apparently died, it appears that Polycarp was born around 52 A.D. His name is Greek, hence he is believed to have been a Gentile.

When I got to the end of the movie, I would hope that I would be prepared to stand up for my faith in Christ like Polycarp did.  Today Christians are suffering real persecution. Polycarps message is one we all need to be reminded of. Christian persecution is happening all around us and even here in the United States. Things are only going to get worse and according to all of the signs of the end times, things are going to increase.

One thing I found online about his is this, even though I’m not sure it is true, but it made me laugh anyhow, lol. I do think it is accurate though from many of the things I am reading.

“He who grants me to endure the fire will enable me also to remain on the pyre unmoved, without the security you desire from nails.”

Away with the atheists!’ and be set free.” Polycarp pointed to the pagan crowd and said, “Away with the atheists!” He was burned at the stake and gave joyful testimony of his faith in Jesus Christ.

If you want to look up Polycarps writings, you can click on the link below. It was a bit over my head for the most part. 

Polycarps Writings:

One of my major pet peeves is using a cell phone while driving. One of my most favorite and loved person in this world hears it from me every-time I see her using her phone while driving.

What is distracted driving?

(Source: https://www.distraction.gov)

Distracted driving is any activity that could divert a person’s attention away from the primary task of driving. All distractions endanger driver, passenger, and bystander safety. These types of distractions include:

• Texting
• Using a cell phone or smartphone
• Eating and drinking
• Talking to passengers
• Grooming
• Reading, including maps
• Using a navigation system
• Watching a video
• Adjusting a radio, CD player, or MP3 player

But, because text messaging requires visual, manual, and cognitive attention from the driver, it is by far the most alarming distraction

All I can imagine is someone I love getting hurt or even worse killed because they looked down at their cell phone while driving. When I hear someone say that they aren’t distracted if they check their phone or try to answer a text, I just want to dummy slap them right up side the head.

If I was texting a person while they were driving, I would hope the person who pull over or wait till they are stopped in order to answer my text. Answering a phone or responding to a text message isn’t worth it.

Another pet peeve with me is again cell phones. I think they have their time and place. But life doesn’t have to revolved around them. Drives me nuts when we are out to eat and everyone has their cell phone on. Or how kids are given tablets to keep them quiet at church. Why take them to church if they are going to play on a computer the whole time. They miss church, even if they are sitting there.

I know my daughter brings a tablet to church to help keep JJ and Josalyn quieter since someone complained that Josalyn was babbling. I find it nonsense for people to grumble of a chatty baby. They need to be at church and others need to get off their high horse and let children come to church. I can understand if she was having a melt down. She was just babbling. If they can’t handle baby babbling, maybe they need to go to the other room.

I got a bit distracted on this blog post since I decided to say a bit about a baby that is distracting someone who doesn’t want her to coo or babble. Children belong in church, just as much as anyone else.

K, so back to my blog post about texting and driving. I would hope that people can see the dangers of doing this. It takes just one second of looking down to your phone before something catastrophic would happen. Have some common courtesy to your loved ones you are leaving behind should you get in an accident. Have some common courtesy to those on the road who would like to make it home safe and sound.

If a person doesn’t care enough about themselves, then think about all the innocent people on our street. Would you like to be the one standing in the street looking down to grown and staring into the face of a children or another person? Just because you just had to read that all important message and try to type back, a life was lost. Would it be worth it to you then.

Here are some links about people who were texting/driving while on the phone: