Guillian Barre Syndrome Q and A

I wanted to put a disclaimer on this post. I did a lot of copy and paste for this blog post. Not all things since I shared a lot about my personal journey. It’s easier to describe what’s going on by sharing the actual information. Since I have a hard time remembering how to word things or to describe things, I figured it’s easier to put the correct info on this post.

This blog may be a little long. I ended up getting a number of questions for me to answer. I did combine some questions since some of them were similar.  Thank you for all of the questions and I hope my answers will help you understand what GBS/CIPD. I will follow this up with comments from my husband and daughters. It will be about what they went though with me being sick all the time.

About a month ago, I sent out emails, posts on Facebook and on my Instagram page that the month of May is Guillian Barre Awareness Month. I have been doing GBS Awareness posts for a number of years and I will include links to those blogs so anyone can reference those for more information.  I have included links also for website called Guillian Barre Syndrome Foundation. There is a lot of information and videos that describes what GBS is.  As with many things, I want to make a disclaimer that what is normal for one person may not be for other people.

I have the CIPD variant of Guillian Barre Syndrome, which is the chronic form. I’ve had it a number of times, when people normally get’s GBS 1 time and the degree of disability varies from person to person.  I’m trying to stay away from information overload, so I hope I can make it easy to understand what GBS/CIPD is. I have included links to the information that I’m sharing. Just put your mouse over the link and it will take you to the page for the information.

Here is a link to a video on Youtube that kind of shows you what I went through. This is a short video and will show you what I went through. When I first came down with it, that was before video taping and sharing my story. Please what Miranda’s Journey which is pretty close to my own experience. The only difference I had this 4 times and I don’t know if she has or not. but, it’s easier to explain what I went through by showing this video.

Guillain-Barré Syndrome – Miranda’s Journey

Last years blog posts was more of a personal type of posts and was one of the hardest times when it came to my GBS experience. These are links to last years blog posts. There are also a number of other blogs that

My experience with Guillian Barre Q&A’s

Q. What is Guillian Barre Syndrome? 

A. (Guillian Barre Foundation )-  Instead of me using my way of describing it, I figured it is best to give the accurate medical lingo to describe what it is.

Guillain-Barré (Ghee-yan Bah-ray) Syndrome is an inflammatory disorder of the peripheral nerves outside the brain and spinal cord.

It’s also called:

  • Acute Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy
  • Landry’s Ascending Paralysis

GBS is characterized by the rapid onset of numbness, weakness, and often paralysis of the legs, arms, breathing muscles, and face. Paralysis is ascending, meaning that it travels up the limbs from fingers and toes towards the torso. Loss of reflexes, such as the knee jerk, are usually found.

Q. You said that you have the CIPD variant of Guillian Barre Syndrome. What does that mean? 

A. Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy (CIDP)?  The easiest way for me to describe it is that instead of Guillian Barre Syndrome going away and left without a number of symptoms that continues being a problem. This is what  the National Institute of Neurological  Disorders and Stroke(NINDS) website says. It often presents with symptoms that include tingling or numbness (beginning in the toes and fingers), weakness of the arms and legs, loss of deep tendon reflexes (areflexia), fatigue, and abnormal sensations. CIDP is closely related to Guillain-Barre syndrome and it is considered the chronic counterpart of that acute disease.

Q. How did you get GBS? 

A. I ended up getting Guillian Barre Syndrome from the flu shot. From what my Dr said, I carry a certain antibody that reacts to viruses such as the flu. From what the Center for Disease Control and Protection (CDC) website says that there are some people who have gotten GBS after having the flu or other infections such as pneumonia, strep throat (which is how I ended up paralyzed the second time. I ended up with GBS from the flu shot, 3 weeks after getting the injection.

If you have gotten the flu shot, you may have noticed on the bottom of the paper that you have filled out you will see this listed at the bottom about who should NOT get the flu shot. This information I got on the CDC website.

People who should talk to their doctor before getting the flu shot:

If you have one of the following conditions, talk with your healthcare provider.  He or she can help decide whether vaccination is right for you, and select the best vaccine for your situation:

  • If you have an allergy to eggs or any of the ingredients in the vaccine. Talk to your doctor about your allergy. See Special Considerations Regarding Egg Allergy for more information about egg allergies and flu vaccine.
  • If you ever had Guillain-Barré Syndrome (a severe paralyzing illness, also called GBS). Some people with a history of GBS should not get this vaccine. Talk to your doctor about your GBS history.
  • If you are not feeling well, talk to your doctor about your symptoms.

Q. How did you know that you had GBS and what were your symptoms? 

A. That is a great question. 

I was a very athletic person. I ran on the average -10 miles a day. I was only 17 when this was all happening.  I was tired all the time. I normally woke up by 8 AM and then I would go out for a run. I enjoyed sports and played on a girls softball team, tennis, volleyball, track and field and cross country. Since I left home and moved in with my then boyfriend and husband now, I only did running and biking.

One day I went into Nolanville, Texas and it was less then a 2 mile bike ride. I was heading home and my legs felt heavy. I couldn’t get the strength to walk. I needed to walk across the street where my bike was. But, I had a horrible time doing that. I did manage it after an hour. I came into our house and it was all I could do to go up the three steps to our house. Our room mate said that I took so long because I was trying to get out of helping clean. But, I went to bed and I was just exhausted.

Over a 2 week time span, I went from very athletic to not being able to walk, lift things and anything that took an effort. I lost strength that started in my feet and went up over those 2 weeks. I knew something was wrong, so I went to the hospital, but the Dr’s thought I was on drugs. But, when I got diagnosed finally, I was completely paralyzed up to my forehead and on life support.

Q. How did I know I had GBS? 



 A . I finally had a Dr believe me and he ordered a spinal tap(lumbar puncture). This is a procedure in which fluid surrounding the spinal cord (called the cerebrospinal fluid or CSF) is withdrawn through a needle and examined in a lab.

They were testing the fluid because they suspected it already. They knew that it was GBS because the fluid was a darker yellowish/straw color which they said it was that way because of the protein in the fluid. Normally the spinal fluid is clear.My fluid was close to the last on of the 5 vials. It should have been clear.

Q. Is it contagious? If so, is it hereditary? I know you have daughters and grandkids, are they at risk.

A.  This is a question that I get quite a bit.  This is what all of the informational websites says; The exact cause of GBS is not known. Researchers don’t know why it strikes some people and not others. It is not contagious or inherited. … In GuillainBarré syndrome, however, the immune system mistakenly attacks the healthy nerves.

I have 2 daughters and 7 grand children. Because of all of my medical problems, I was only able to get pregnant once. We did adopt Rebechia, which would mean there isn’t anything I would have handed down to her and her children. With my daughter Jessica and her two children, they don’t take the flu or the pneumonia immunization. My  health problems have caused them to stress over the possibility of them getting what I had.  Dr’s always say that it isn’t hereditary and not contagious. I have no doubt that it isn’t contagious since it is as auto-immune disease. They also say it isn’t hereditary, but I have seen it happen when it comes to families. They don’t know for sure.

I have had this 4 times and it’s always because I have gotten sick or I was around someone sick. So, we do our best to prevent getting around anyone sick when possible since I have almost died a few times over just getting sick. Since there is so many unknowns. We don’t know about hereditary things.

Q. My uncle had GBS about 15 years ago. He is in a wheelchair now. The Dr’s told him he would never get it again. I’ve read on your blog that you had I believe that you have had it around 3 times and you still have some residuals. Will my uncle get this again?

A. I don’t know if I can answer that since everyone’s experience is different.  All of the Dr’s I have seen and places like the GBS/CIPD Foundation, CDC and others have said this;

GBS can range from a very mild case with brief weakness to nearly devastating paralysis, leaving the person unable to breathe independently. Fortunately, most people eventually recover from even the most severe cases of GBS.  After recovery, some people will continue to have some degree of weakness. While I have had it a number of times and have had a variety of symptoms, that isn’t true for everyone.

Guillain-Barré syndrome can affect anyone. It can strike at any age (although it is more frequent in adults and older people) and both sexes are equally prone to the disorder. GBS is estimated to affect about one person in 100,000 each year.

Q. Are there ways to prevent getting Guillian Barre Syndrome?

A. Not that I know of. I just know that I do my best to not be around those that are sick since I have had it. I don’t know if there is even a test to see if you have the potential of getting it. I heard they have an blood test for it, but it isn’t a normal test and I haven’t had any of my Dr’s and Neurologists suggesting it.

Q. I had a family member that died from Guillian Barre Syndrome unexpectedly.  We were told that she would be OK once it starts reversing. I belong to an online support group and what they are describing, it doesn’t fit with what my family members doctor said. Have you come close to dying? Do you have a fear of dying?

A. I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your family member. Since everyone is different, it has to be difficult to lose someone you love when you were told they would be OK. I was also told that once my muscles and the nerves began working, I would never have any issues from it. When it comes to how I deal with my diagnosis and death, I’s not afraid of death. That’s because of my faith. I do worry about those I will leave behind. If it wasn’t for my faith, I would be terrified.

God has never let me down. He promised me that He is my strength and my refuge in times of trouble. I have never forgotten that and I need Him ever single day and moment in my life.

Q. I have known you for a long time and I have found you inspirational because of how hard you have and are fighting. How do you stay positive when so much has happened?

A.  I for sure have my moments. I have those times when I just want to throw in the towel. It’s pretty much where I get to the point of , “sick of being sick” type of mentality. I just don’t post a lot of that stuff. But, a number of years ago, I had to change my negative thinking because I was having more bad and angry days. Thankfully God helps me through those moments.

Q. You said that you try to only discuss your experience with having Guillian Barre Syndrome at this time of the year, why is that?

A. I think that is a good question. Basically I don’t like to talk a lot about it because I don’t want people to say, “that’s the person who has Guillian barre Syndrome” or “I feel bad for everything she is going through”. That’s because I know some people have medical problems and that’s all they talk about. One of the ladies that I was friends with that became her identity. My illness isn’t who I am. My name isn’t Sandie Guillian Barre Syndrome. I’m simply Sandie Divan. When this lady only talk about her medical things, it became apparent that she was using her medical issues as a tool to get people to donate to her and to do things for her that they normally wouldn’t do. They did it because they felt sorry for her. While I have GBS/CIPD and a number of other medical problems because of it, that isn’t who I am.

This isn’t a picture of me, but this is what it is like when I was going through my stuff.

Q. I had Guillian Barre Syndrome 5 years ago and it’s been very difficult.  I was intubated and then had a tracheotomy to help me breath. I’m still in a wheelchair. I wish I would have died and not be a burden on my parents. How does your family handle your medical issues?

A. For me the hardest thing was being intubated and not being able to breath and not being able to tell anyone what I was thinking and feeling. I couldn’t move or do anything. I totally understand that. that is something I still have problems with. I have made it a point to have my medical directives drawn up by an attorney so I could make sure to never be put in that position. Last year, my Dr’s didn’t listen. You can click on the links I shared at the top of the page.

I don’t have many fears, but, I understand how difficult that would have been for you. If you need to talk you can send me an email and I will contact you and I can give you some information about one of the  group I go to  Guillian Barre Syndrome Surviors Group on Facebook  . 


Technology Isn’t Always Best- Part 3

I was having a conversation with one of my grandsons.  He was telling me how hard life is for him. JJ was upset with his mom because she never does anything for him. He has this perception that he does all of the cleaning in his house and he has no food to eat. He also says that his parents are meaner than any other parent since they get everything their child wants. I let him continue while I was waiting for my daughter to come back to the car.  I didn’t share the conversation JJ and I were having with my daughter, but he just wanted to continue talking. That was a big mistake, lol.

As JJ continued talking and he was visibly upset. My daughter was asking what it was like when she was little and how both of my daughters got everything they wanted (NOT). I’m sure JJ regretted him opening up this conversation.

13 Inch Black and white Zenith Television Set 

My daughters were born in 1980. So, there were no computers, iPads, big screen T.V.s, cell phones or video games such as WII’s, Play stations, Nintendo’s or WiFi’s. We had only 1 T.V. Our first television was a 13 inch black and white television. And when our daughters were pretty young like in the 1st grade, we had the Atari video game. The only games to play on it was pong and something else. He was shocked that we didn’t have video games.

I told him that if we wanted to play games, we went to an arcade. We didn’t have games like that at home. It was hard enough for us to be able to feed our daughters and cloth them.  There were times we would have to go to a food bank since we didn’t have any money to even buy bread. We would also get cloths from thrift stores or other families if they were getting rid of them.  Again he was shocked and he thought I was lying to him.

As parents, our priorities were on raising our daughters. We weren’t focused on keeping up with the Jones. For Christmas, our daughters didn’t get expensive gifts. We normally only had around $20-$25.00 per child to spend on gifts. We shopped at a store called Pic N Save. Pic N Save was on the lines of Dollar general. Since we shopped at stores like that, we were able to stretch the little bit of money we had.  So, Chuck and I did the best we could do to make Christmas happen.

Many of the toys and gadgets that my grand-kids have, cost more than what we would spend on most of our bills. We didn’t have the $200 or more that JJ gets with just one Lego gift. They didn’t need expensive Lego sets, barbies, computers, games and so on. What they enjoyed and I honestly think that many kids today doesn’t understand that spending time as a family is more important than a tree filled with expensive toys.

We adopted our daughter Beckiah. She arrived at our house 4 days before Christmas. All she had was a brown grocery bag filled with cloths. She had nothing else. We already spent all the money we could for Christmas gifts and for food. We had to make our money stretch until our next payday. When we got word that Beckiah would arrive the following morning, we had to scramble. We already got Jessica’s Christmas gifts, but we had nothing for Beckiah. Jessica was only in the 1st grade and she joined our conversation and she said that we could give Beckiah some of her Christmas gifts. I was bawling at her kind gesture.

Our daughters knew the truth about Santa and the Easter Bunny. They knew there was no Santa and that Christmas is about Christ and so is Easter. I didn’t have any money to buy more wrapping paper since we now had to split gifts. Jessica went to work. We took all of the gifts out from under the tree and then took name tags off of the gifts that was going to Jessica. Jessica didn’t know what she was getting, but she was OK. She was and still has such a giving heart. So, all the gifts that were labeled for Jessica was relabeled for Beckiah.

Big Wheels

One of our neighbors came over to the house to help me get things ready for Beckiah to come home. Nelana asked me about what we were doing for Christmas, meaning gifts for both of the girls. There was one gift that we couldn’t split up. It was a surprise gift for Jessica. We bought her a Big Wheel. We new we couldn’t afford a second one. I told Nelena that we will wait to give Jessica the Big Wheel until we can get a second one. Little did I know that Nelena didn’t go straight home when she was done helping me. She went to the toy store and got a Big Wheel for Beckiah.  Nelena also got each of the girls a baby doll and stroller.

As time marches on and more time passes by, the more I look back on those days with so much fondness and nostalgia because I miss their simplicity.   Life was pleasantly simple and joyous.

I wish things were the way they were then. I loved the conversations, silliness the time we would spend with my daughters by baking cookies for the homeless. We would do the 12 days of Christmas for unsuspecting neighbors. I didn’t have to compete with a television, computers, laptops, iPad and so on. We just enjoyed being together.

I was born in 1963  and our lives was vastly different then from the world we know now. I’m not going to go into the whole this is what it was like growing up in the 60’s and 70’s.

I use to get bored when my parents and grandparents would say something like, ” I remember when…. “, and a very long story followed that discussed their childhood. I’m sure I had some eye rolling going on. Now, I share stories of when I was younger and simpler. Which I know  my grand kids humor me by listening and roll their eyes.

Josalyn – 3yrs old and JJ -11 yrs old

I did share privately with JJ when my daughter was out of the car that he has parents who love him and his sister. They are able to give them gifts that educate them and gifts that they enjoy. I let him know that many kids would be happy to have just one of the gifts that he gets. They make sure that they buy him the best mountain bikes instead of cheap ones that he could get hurt on.

For his birthday a few years ago, Jessica and Jason had a swim party for JJ’s birthday and he was allowed to invite his entire classroom, just so he could make friends. I let him know that there are kids who have no parents that love them or anyone. I think he hears it so often, that he is desensitized now.

I let him know that when my daughters were his age, there wasn’t much that we could afford to do. My parents didn’t do things with us kids. We grew up with the mindset of “kids can be seen, but not heard.” I know JJ wasn’t fully listening since he was sitting in the back seat, which his ipad on his lap and he wanted to know if I was done talking. I miss the days of having conversations with people and being able to see a persons eyes looking back at me, instead of down at a computer.

My mother in law lived with my husband and I for a number of years after my father in law died. She would tell us the same old stories over and over again. Oh, what I would do to hear those stories again.

18722277_293395561110481_3533412213656125440_aI watch this families video’s on youtube. His channel is called, “White House on the Hill”. They are a sweet family who raises all kinds of birds, chickens, pheasants and Emu’s. While I love learning about his farm and raising chicks from eggs, I enjoy watching their channel because their family doesn’t let technology run their lives. They do things as a family. Click here to go to their channel. 



I miss growing up on a farm. We lived with my grandparents in Indiana in the early 70’s.  Grandma grace was a Sunday School teacher and I think my foundation and love for the Lord is because of the things grandma shared. We had our own garden, raised our own chickens, ducks and so on. My grandparents lived in the middle of Amish Country. We had no indoor plumbing, no electric and no restroom. My grandma cooked food from the garden and we ate the chickens we raised. We had an outhouse and our baths were in a trough. In the winter, our heating was from a wood or coal burning fireplace. We took bath is inside in a makeshift tub. During the warmer months we bathed outside and someone held up a sheet so nobody could see us.

I have subscribed to their channel because their family and lifestyle reminds me of a time  when my Grandma Grace was still alive and how no matter how hard things are, we can get through it. I tried my best to instill those qualities in my daughters.

Is the Internet hurting children? Article on CNN 

In closing technology is great for many things but it comes at a great price . When we depend on technology for everything, the price may be too high. My daughter will ask JJ a question over and over again while he is looking down at his ipad. She raises her voice and asks JJ the same question that she has been asking for 5 minutes. he then shouts at her and asks her what she wants. He is so zoned into his game that he hears nothing around him. He doesn’t even know where we are going since his head is down the whole time.

The price of technology is too high in my opinion. When technology takes the place of real relationships, then that’s to costly. When I was younger and my daughters were younger, I feel they had a better life even though we didn’t have a lot of money. We knew how to play with friends and family. We could interact and use our imagination without computers. we didn’t need all of the bells and whistles that children have now.

Here’s a link that talks about and helps with children using gadgets and apps. I understand that there are educational applications for children. I feel that if the parent is limiting the usage and the amount of time the child is on the ipad, then that’s the parents decision. Don’t be one of those parents who lets the computer be the baby sitter.


Swimming and Baptisms- Irrigation Ditches.

This is part two talking about How technology isn’t the best. On the first one I mentioned that I will be about living in Hyder and my faith and baptism. Since we didn’t have anything to watch, computers or ways to talk to friends unless they lived by us, we had to come up with ways to do things and use our imagination.


I’ve shared this experience about my faith and about my baptism before. But, I’m more than happy to share again.

I remember watching some members of the Nazarene Church in Knox Indiana getting baptized. I wanted to do that so bad. It wasn’t just because of how they got to go swimming, it was because I know how important and pleasing it is to God to be baptized. My grandma Grace would tell me about how we need to be baptized in water and by the Holy Spirit. I didn’t quite understand what she meant by being baptized by the Holy Spirit since, well, He’s a Spirit. But, I figured God knew how to do it spirit and all, so “here I am”.

Stock Image of a church

Since I went to church at a Nazarene Church, they won’t baptize anyone until you get 14 years old. It doesn’t matter if I fully understood or not, the pastor said that I would have to come back and ask then. If Jesus could speak to the Elders in the temples when he was 12, I would think I was good to go and be baptized.

I would have had to get permission from my parents in order to get baptized, even if I was old enough. The only reason I even got to go to church was because my mom wanted us out of the house and someone from church would come and get us. I won’t go into the reasons on why we needed out of the house, but it was for the best.

Our family moved away from Indiana and I think at some point we moved back there and again back to Arizona. There are a number of years that I don’t remember. My sisters can remember them and some family members do, but I don’t. They have all told me that it was good to forget.

irrigationditchBut, anyhow. at some point, we moved to Hyder, Arizona. It was in the middle of nowhere. It was hot, not just hot, but it was a preparation for Hell. There wasn’t anything we could do and it was so hot, we couldn’t do anything outside unless it was 6 am or after 7 pm. But, we did have irrigation ditches.

    Irrigation ditches are man-made channels that deliver water to homes, farms, industries and other human uses. Most ditches divert water from natural creeks and rivers and bring it to other areas.
This is the color the water turns when sulfur is in it. 

When we moved to Hyder and we seen these ditches, we were curious. My dads boss who was the owner of Thompson Farms told us that we can swim in them, but be careful. They will add sulfur to them once in a while. They do that to fertilize the cotton and I would think to kill bugs. He told us to never go in or by the water if they are adding surfer to it. With sulfur it is yellow and stinks really bad. I would think it would be dangerous to even inhale. Those irrigation ditches was right in front of our trailer, so we could smell it all the time.

Sulfur is mentioned many times in the Bible. Anytime I’ve read anything in the Bible about sulfur it isn’t a good thing. Here are a few verses;

  • Luke 17:29- But the day Lot left Sodom, fire and sulfur rained down from heaven and destroyed them all.
  • Revelation 9:17 – The horses and riders I saw in my vision looked like this: Their breastplates were fiery red, dark blue, and yellow as sulfur. The heads of the horses resembled the heads of lions, and out of their mouths came fire, smoke and sulfur.
  • Revelation 20:10– And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever.

Since I knew that sulfur is bad, I had no problem staying away from it. Jerome told us kids that if the water is clear and no sulfur is in there, that it is safe to swim in and just stay away from the tubes or we can get sucked into them and we would die. OK, so let’s thinking about this for a second.

We moved to AZ when I was in the 4th grade and I became involved with a little Baptist Church that met in a trailer in Hyder AZ. The baptisms from Indiana still stuck with me and it was something I wanted to do so bad.

  1. DON’T go in or near the water if there is sulfur in it. If it is yellow stay away from it and if it smells like surfer, stay away from it.  He said it could and more than likely kill us as in dead and gone and we will be left for the rattlesnakes. Now, that’s a heck of a deadly warning isn’t it?
  2. Don’t go swimming through the little tunnels because we will drown since the holes are just big enough to fit a body and we would get stuck in the hole. There would be nobody around to save us. There were no police in Hyder. The closest officers were over 70 miles away. There were no Dr’s, paramedics or firemen either.  So, if you want to stay alive, don’ play in the tunnels or the tubes.

After he told us those things, he started to leave and told us we can go swimming and just pay attention to those rules. Egads, that was horrible. But, we did get enough courage and we went swimming in the ditches. We stayed away from anything that could suck us into a hole and we didn’t swim in yellow water.  I always knew about yellow snow, but this was a whole other learning curve lol.

There was this family that came to welcome our family to this middle of nowhere and invited us to church. I was super excited. My parents of course were not. My sisters didn’t want to go to church. They only went because mom and dad knew we would be out of their way. My bother wanted nothing to do with it. I begged my mom to go. Even though my parents don’t believe in God, they finally told them that they can pick me up. After the family left, my parents told me that they didn’t want me to say anything about church, God, what I learned or anything else. If I did mention anything church wise, I would pay the price.

The first Sunday at this little Baptist Church, the pastor was talking about the importance of Baptism. Baptism was the top thinking that I have been wanting for so long. I asked him about what age I would have to be to get baptized. I didn’t have to be 14, but I would have to have my parents approval. I knew there would be no chance in asking. I’m sure I had tears in my eyes. There was absolutely no way I could even say God in my house yet alone ask about Baptism.

So, my little 10 or 11 year old mind and heart came up with a solution. But, I needed help with it. We had the irrigation ditch, which has water. And on most days it was clean and clear water. On other days it was the kind of water that will kill ya. Since there was nothing else to do in Hyder, we would swim for hours. But, before we went swimming, I would ask my friend Kim Thompson and my sis Joyce if they would like to be baptized. baptismquoteThey gave me some really stupid looks. Kim’s family is Catholic and our family is, well, nothing. I’m a Christian and that’s as far as it went.

I watched many baptisms. I didn’t have a Bible of my own, so I had to say what I remembered that the pastor would say. I would stand in front of them and then I would ask Joyce and Kim  these things. I’m sure the words aren’t exact since it was so long ago. But, this is what I asked them and in turn they did that with me.

  1. Do you believe that Jesus is the son of God?
  2. Do you believe that He died and was raised to life?
  3. Do you accept Him as your Lord and Savior?

And then I would have them hold their nose and close their mouths and then dunk them. I didn’t realize way back then that once you are baptized, you are saved. So, every time we went swimming before we did anything else I wanted to be baptized. I don’t think they wanted to all the time. I just didn’t want to take any chances.

During that part of my life, be having the many baptisms gave me peace. It’s hard to explain. As a child my life wasn’t very good and most days I didn’t know if any of us kids would survive. But, because of being baptized so many times, I felt different. I always knew God was with me, but during those times, I just felt complete. Over the years I have always wondered if my true baptism that I got on the day I turned 14 in Willcox was my actual baptism. Or if even though I wasn’t baptized by a pastor and I was baptized I would think close to 100 times, if that was my true baptism. There was no service, pastor or documents. But the feeling I had, I 100 percent meant every word I said. God gave me so much love, grace and mercy in my life.

While Hyder had nothing to do at all. What it did have been an irrigation ditch that could kill a personal easily and that ditch had life-sustaining power.

I would love to hear your experiences of when you got baptized. I would also like to hear about what you think when it came to my baptisms in irrigation ditches.

I will share more about the Baptism of the Holy Spirit on a future blog since this one is long enough.









Technology Isn’t Always Good

Hyder AZ - Agua Caliente
Hyder, AZ

This is going to be a series of how technology isn’t always the best thing.

rattlesnake denWhen I was younger our family lived in a very tiny spot on the road called Hyder, AZ. Hyder is located between Gila Bend and Yuma, AZ.  This would have been in 1974 or 1975.I use to think I hated it because there was never anything to do. We had to make up our own entertainment. Hyder was about the same temperatures of Death Valley, rattlesnakes were all over the place. We actually lived across the street from a den of rattlers. We also had what seemed like millions of scorpions. Hyder is now considered a ghost town and I can honestly see why.

I was in the 5th grade when we moved there. The school we went to was about 40 miles from our house and we had to be picked up around 4 in the morning and we got home around the same time. That’s because it’s all farmland and kids lived all over the place. It took us a long time to get to school. The school I went to was called Sentinel and there was 28 students from the grades 1-12. There were 2 trailers for the classes. For grades 1-4, they met in the single wide trailer. The teacher for those grades most of the time was drunk by the time we made it to school. I tried to find images of the school and it looks like it isn’t there any longer, which I totally understand why lol.

When the teacher was passed out on the floor, my teacher Mr. Hollingsworth would send one of the kids in our class over to teach those kids. He would decide on who went to help by who passed the spelling bee and math bee for that day. It was first thing when we got there since we needed to go over right away.

While we lived in Hyder, we had to create our own entertainment. Our T.V. had three channels and that’s with Rabbit Ears. My dad always chose what he wanted to watch and it was always news. There were no discussions of arguments. We never argued because of the way my dad was and the constant fights that were very heated. I won’t go into that right now.

We did have a phone and our phones were on a party line. A party line is a shared service line. I think we had to share our line with 4 or 5 people. The way we knew if we had a call was because party-line-comicof a  code ringing system. I think our ring was a high pitch ring that rang three times. If we accidentally picked up someone else’s call, we just hung up and apologized. If we wanted to make a call, we had to pick up the receiver to make sure nobody was on the phone. None of us kids were allowed to make calls or receive calls. My parents always unplugged the phone after 5 since they went to bed around 6 pm and the same for us kids. Since we lived so far away from anyone, we didn’t really have many friends that would call anyhow.

desertI did make friends at church and my dads boss Jerome Thompson had kids our age, so their kids were our friends. My mom would allow me to walk over to Kim Thompson’s. But that was at least a 2-3 mile walk across the desert and I had to keep an eye out for rattle snakes since I had to walk right past the dens. My parents didn’t really care about us walking that far or the dangers I would come across. It would usually take me an hour or so to get there. That depends on how many stops I made to drink or sit down. If I seen a snake, I got there faster lol. Oh and also there is wild boars and no trees.

I usually always walked by myself. If something happened, nobody would know since there were no cell phones or anything out there. It would for sure NOT be anything I would ever let anyone I loved do.  I did know enough though to bring a gallon of water. That water was gone by the time I got to Kim’s and her parents were more than happy to bring me home. Since we couldn’t use the phone, I couldn’t call them to tell them I was coming over. I would say that during the summer, our thermometers showed that it was always 125% F.

This cotton shows the three kinds of cotton we would throw at each other. But, the one that is all the way out wasn’t as much fun as the other two lol. 

Since there was no entertainment or friends, we came up with ways to have fun. We would get up early on the weekends and during the summer. Most of our days were always outside. Because of how my parents always fought, we did anything to stay away. There was 5 of us kids, and we would play baseball, run, Frisbee, swim in the irrigation ditches, play in the orange groves and since we lived in cotton fields, we would play in the fields and throw the hard cotton ball pods. If the cotton was only partly showing, those hurt and they were sharp enough to cut ya.


We also played kick the cans, tag, running races and we played with cars on our made up dirt tunnels and roads. One of my favorite things to do was look for cool and unusual rocks in the gravel. It sounds boring, but I would spend hours looking for unusual rocks. That is until it got to hot outside,  They would bruise like nothing else if you got hit by one.

Because of the lack of any kind of technologies, we knew how to play and use our imaginations. We were exhausted because of how hard we played. Which having to go to bed so early, being exhausted was a good thing.  We weren’t allowed to sit around a computer, television or be on the phone 24/7. Since we couldn’t make any noises at night we had to sleep.

I won’t be going into any of the negatives in this series of posts. I’m going to do my best to talk about the positives. My next post will also be about living in Hyder and my faith and baptism happening in irrigation ditches. So, please check back.





Guillian Barre Awareness Month – Coming Soon

In September 1980 I had my first onset of Guillian Barre Syndrome. I ended up completely paralyzed from my feet to my forehead. I’ve had many people asking me to share my experience. I found out after I had a second round of Guillian Barre Syndrome because I was around a sick child. It was at this time that my Dr’s figured out that I have the CIPD variant of Guillian Barre Syndrome. Normally when you have Guillian Barre Syndrome, you will never have it when you’re getting better. Over the next week or two, I will be taking questions from anyone and I will do my best to give my experience.

Here’s a short video that will explain what Guillian Barre Syndrome is in a medical sense. But, I will be answering questions that pertains to my experience.



For the past year I haven’t been feeling good at all. Normally when I get sick I bounce back pretty fast. Since May is Guillian Barre Awareness Month, I decided that I will do things a bit differently. I have written other blogs about my experience and I will put links to all of those blogs, that way you can read them all. Since I will link all of the blogs and that way I won’t be repeating the same old things.

But, I’m going to do a Q&A type of blog post. If anyone has questions, I will post my answers on here in May.

So, you can comment on this post or you can email your questions. My email is

Importance of Sunday School

I’ve been working on trying to save my churches website since a dishonest company stole our domain. But, while I was working on the Bible Studied and Small Groups page and the calendar, God was putting the fact that I haven’t been to Sunday School for a very long time. That’s something I need to change for sure.

I took a break from the website since I have spent 70 plus hours just getting it back online. I was having HTML code blocks. So, I took a bath and turned on my radio. When I take a bath, I always play the CD that was done by Joey and Rory. I’m not into the whole country music thing. But my mom loved Joey, so I feel closer to my mom and to God.

Sunday School has been a part of church culture for years. Unfortunately, its importance has been severely diminished and underestimated. Some people do not believe that Sunday School is important while others believe that Sunday School is only for children. This is seen as adults drop children off at church instead of going inside with them. But why is Sunday School important?

Ann Antrim

As I laid in the bathtub, I was thinking about how much I miss Sunday School. I think the last time I actually enjoyed Sunday School was when Ann Antrim was teaching it.  Ann didn’t stand up and do all of the talking. She spoke softly and she would give everyone a chance to share their thoughts. I really like that kind of Sunday School.


As I was looking back to when Ann Antrim was still with us, I always felt that I learned more because of her style of teaching. Sunday School is a place where I’ve been able to really dig into the Word of God. As we sat around the tables downstairs there were those who helped me understand what the passage was meaning. Most of the times, others had the same problems that I had. Dena Allen and I would spend hours talking about whatever we didn’t understand in Sunday School.

For me I think the best way for me to learn is in small groups. We would take turns reading Scriptures and we all had the chance to get involved. We weren’t just sitting there. Her style of teaching was very much like the way we had Sunday school in the Nazarene Church.

Since everyone has our own Sunday School book, I would read ahead for the next Sunday and if I had questions I had them ready. By doing that, each day of the week I would spend reading the Bible and studying the Word. When classes are to big, it’s difficult to even say anything. People talk over the others. So, I don’t really get much out of bigger classes. I also don’t retain the study since it is done on the spot and there isn’t really anything to study.

I think the last time our church did that type of Sunday School was when Ellis Keck was there. Even though Ellis was the pastor, he wanted to have others teaching Sunday School or to become leaders even if they didn’t think they could. I’ve been to a number of churches and maybe it’s just the way it’s done where I live, but Sunday School is more of a lecture style. Whoever is leading Sunday School, they do 90 percent of the speaking and once in a while someone may speak up. I’ve really been wanting to find a place that does Sunday School like that.

There isn’t anything wrong with how my pastor leads Sunday school. But, for me, I don’t retain information like that. I have to see it, read it and be actively involved. I know a number of other churches that does Sunday School the same way. My daughter Jessica puts on Christian books in her car and they listen to the books that way. There isn’t anything wrong with that. But, everyone learns differently.  To me it’s a bunch of talking and I get distracted very easily.  I went to one church locally a number of years ago. The pastor did Sunday School where he would talk about the topic. He was just going on and on, People were getting off tract and I had no clue what the topic of the study was. I went to that church for a month, and I got tired of hearing people going back and forth.I don’t think it’s like that at my church.

I really miss a normal Sunday School where we sit around the table, pray, read, discuss and even if we don’t make it to the end of that weeks lesson, that’s OK. We continue the next week.

I find when I’m engaged in real conversations about Go and about the Word of God I have a much easier time grasping and understanding what I’m learning. I would very much enjoy have a weekly Sunday School style of study once a week. I want to contact the Church of the Nazarene to see if I can purchase some guided Sunday School lessons that I can do around my dining room table.  If I can’t I also located a study that sounds interesting. If there are any ladies that I know that would like to do that, let me know.

This is the Willcox Nazarene Church where all of my wonderful memories of being baptized, meeting wonderful people. Because of this church, that’s why I go to church at St. George Community Church.

When we engage in real conversations we are opening the dialog with others who are in the class, group of friends or whoever would like to join. I wouldn’t think everyone has to go to the same church in order to worship and learn about what God has in store for all of us. I believe the Sunday School lessons are split up in three months of lessons. I very much enjoyed learning that way. Since my church is non-denominational, I don’t even think that we have a place to buy those kinds of Study Guides. I could be wrong. Maybe I will ask Pastor Ray about that.

What I miss about Sunday School is that the classes are smaller and that makes it a perfect environment to have real conversations instead of yes, no, or shaking of heads in agreement. I know I couldn’t do this kind of study at my church since I know it isn’t a church sponsored guided activity. Also, the material wouldn’t be coming from my church since we aren’t affiliated with a specific denomination. So, my plan now is to find guided Sunday School Lessons and go from there. It will probably be mid-week around my dining room table unless someone wants it someplace else.

By engaging in dialog with other members of the class, listening to their questions and hearing the answers, you learn that you are not alone in your struggles in understanding the Word and living out your faith in a world that is increasingly hostile to Christians . Those friendships will also help keep you accountable and connected to the Body of Christ, especially during times of storm and crisis in your life.

Here’s a breakdown of why I think it is very important for everyone to be going to Sunday School. Sunday School helps me and I would think most people to understand the different stages in their lives. I never understood this when I was younger. I would be placed in the teens, young adults, adults and so on. A pastor friend of mine those me that it’s important to learn and encourage others who may need encouragement from someone who may have gone through the same type of things they are.  A young adult isn’t going to know what it’s like from a senior citizens point of view. They can learn off of each others experience. But, there are some things and conversations they won’t understand.

When I would go to Sunday School with Ann being the teacher, she had a way of engaging everyone and she closed that generation gaps. I did find this study lesson on Life way, so. I’m thinking on this if I can get some people involved.

Here’s a description of what I’m looking at. I would just have to figure out where to have it at since it isn’t a church sponsored Bible Study.

chaseCHASE CURRICULUM KIT: Chasing After the Heart of God

What are you chasing?

We’re all chasing after something, something that we think will make us happy—comfort, success, a bigger house, or someone’s approval. But if we are all honest, it feels like trying to catch the wind.

A man after God’s own heart… As David’s life weaves throughout the pages of Scripture, we see he was a man who spent his life chasing after God. Chase explores the events that defined David’s life and the Psalms that flowed out of those experiences. Through David’s example we’ll discover what God really wants from us.

The lessons in this study are simple yet deep and very interactive, offering Bible study, stories, and projects to dig into Scripture and deeply engage the mind and heart. God has carved out a space in each of us that only He can fill. So whether you are running from God or working your tail off to please Him, David’s journey will challenge your view of God.

God is invisible, and yet He is the only thing we can chase that won’t leave us feeling more empty.

Study Kit Tools:

Study. The study guide uses projects, stories, and Bible study to engage the mind and heart. There are seven weeks of Bible study and an introductory session for your group.

See. Eight short but deep videos provide a starting place for meeting God and for transparent conversations. Each video is 8-12 minutes long.

Ask. Conversation cards offer questions for spontaneous and authentic discussion time. You choose the questions that speak to you.

Lead. The leader’s guide prepares you to lead this study and encourages you along the way

Sunday School is very important when it comes to my spiritual walk and anyone else’s. When we go to Sunday School it provided  the tools for learning. Sunday School encourages friendships and interactions  while you are studying with like-minded people. Ephesians 4:11, includes teachers within the five-fold ministry of the church. “And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers”. Sunday School and going to church is a very important part when it comes to building a stronger relationship with Christ. Pastors are called to preach the Word of God and to Shepherd the congregation.

I feel bad as I’m writing this because I hardly ever go to church because of my health. I do listen to the sermons and I also listen to the sermons that Pastor Craig from Oro Valley Church of the Nazarene in Tucson does. I have always been a Nazarene and I will always be.  So, I do enjoy listening to their services when I catch it. Even if I can make it to church, I don’t go to Sunday School. Again, that isn’t because of what Pastor Ray is teaching. I just don’t learn in that format and when people talk over each other. I need something in hand to read and study, not just listening.


Josalyns Unicorn

Josalyn and her unicorn.

When I got really sick this summer and I was in ICU for at least a month, and then I was on the 2nd floor for close to 3 weeks and then the rehab center. I wanted to share just one very important part of the hospital stay and that all resolves around my grand-daughter Josalyn and her toy unicorn.

After I got out of the ICU and they moved me to a regular room I was having a lot of problems understanding who people were and I couldn’t really carry on a logical conversation. I had my cell phone with me,  and I knew it was my phone, but I couldn’t remember how to dial it, who the people on my contacts are and I couldn’t text. It took me a while for the connections in my brain to work. I still have issues on some of the things.

During my confusion for some reason my focus was on my grand-daughter Josalyn. Jessica and Josalyn always came up there. Josalyn left her little unicorn with me. But, I vaguely remember talking to the Dr’s about how I needed to make sure that she could eat and that she needs chocolate milk and she needed cookies. I felt this crazy need to make sure she was OK. I remember mumbling things about her to my nurses.

My grand daughter Josalyn

One night I asked my nurse to call my daughter Jessica. I left some kind of strange message on Jessica’s phone. I may have even texted her. For some reason my focus was entirely on Josalyn, her unicorn and my pug Jasper. I kind of remember talking to my Dr’s and nurses about how worried and even scared that with me in the hospital there is nobody feeding and taking care of Josalyn.

One afternoon when my sisters Joyce, Bren and my dad came to visit me from AZ. My husband, Jessica and Josalyn was also visiting me. I couldn’t even talk much. When I did talk, it was jumbled and I couldn’t talk loud enough to be heard. And I didn’t even know what was going on. I did know that my daughters, my husband, my sisters and my dad literally filled my hospital room with yellow and white roses. They were gorgeous. I had to leave some at the hospital since I was having major allergies.

During that visit with everyone. I started throwing up blood. The nurse was telling me to calm down and to put my head in the back. She was trying all kinds of things. But, blood clots the size of part of my fist was being thrown up. Some of them went into my lungs. This all happened when everyone was visiting. My dad was scared to death. He had to leave the room. I was throwing up so much blood, it was all over my med, blankets and me. The nurse I had was off work and she didn’t tell the incoming nurse that I was having a nose bleed.


It was much worse than a nose bleed since it was being thrown up and some was from my nose. Something perforated somewhere in my stomach. The nurse that was in my room 24/7 immediately called a Dr. She knew the problem was much worse that a simple nose bleed. Within minutes they had me going out of the room and they took me to have some kind of a procedure to try to stop the bleeding. I think I was in a surgical room. As they were moving me to hopefully stop my bleeding, I wanted them, well demanded them to get me Josalyns unicorn. The nurse didn’t want to, but I guess I got pretty loud lol.

What a wonderful blessing both JJ and Josayn was. I don’t remember anything

The procedures that they had to do is something I don’t remember. All I remember at that time is that I know I’m loosing a lot of blood and I didn’t know anyone could loose that much blood and still be alive. All I remember is that I had Josalyn’s unicorn and I didn’t want any blood on her toy. I was heavily crying because of Josalyn and the unicorn. They worked on me till around 3 in the morning and if it wasn’t for that unicorn   I don’t know if I could have stayed focused. The pain was so bad that not even the morphine and the dilaudid helped with some of the pain. But, I think I only got through this ordeal because I was really scared of ruining Josalyn’s Unicorn. I was also praying so much. Even though I was given a ton of medications, I was still in pain, but when I asked God to protect me and to take the pain away that worked.

One of the nurses was told by the Dr to keep me calm because things were going to be bad. There was only one other way to help stop the bleeding. So, this nurse noticed how many times I mentioned Josalyn and the unicorn. I was protecting that unicorn. I wasn’t worried about me bleeding to death, but I was about her unicorn. So, the nurse got me talking about Josalyn and she wanted to hold the unicorn. That was a negative. I will hold her unicorn. But, at that moment, God put this on my heart and I haven’t shared that with anyone.

My grand daughter was with my daughter every day at the hospital. But, Josalyn looks exactly like Jessica did when she was a baby. I know people will think I’m nuts. But, in my mind I needed to protect Josalyn because I was thinking she is my daughter Jessica. I also use to collect unicorns. When I was worried about Josalyn needing to eat and drink and taken care of because it is my job to do that. But, I honestly think that during my hospital stay, I was thinking Josalyn was Jessica.

I wanted to share this video of my grandson JJ and Josalyn. I didn’t want to leave him out.


Jessica and Josalyn Video 

Around 3:00 am, I was back in my room and the unicorn had absolutely no blood on it. I did loose a lot of blood. They had to give me a couple blood transfusions. On that night they had to and then about a week later they had to give me more blood. I don’t remember anything from that ordeal except that there was blood all over the room, the floor, the bed, my gown, the Dr and the nurses even had to get clean cloths.

The nurse that I had when the bleeding started should have let the oncoming nurse know that I had a problem. I really couldn’t talk because I was throwing up big blood clots from my throat and nose. I really appreciate those who helped. I know there were a lot of people in the area they had to take me and I thank God that is had Josalyn and her unicorn to help me get through it all.

Building Walls


“Jesus entrusted to Peter the keys to open the entrance to the kingdom of heaven, and not to close it.”

I’m wanting to keep this post more about Christ and not turn it into a political post and I’m soory that I have included more political things than I wanted.

It’s been bothering me big time that people are posting this picture and saying that if Heaven has a wall then why can’t the United States. Donald Trump and politicians on both sides of the fence are NOT GOD. We are NOT in Heaven, we are here in the United States.

Part of the president’s order stated that, “In order to protect Americans, the United States must ensure that those admitted to this country” don’t have “hostile attitudes” to our nation’s “founding principles.”

It added: “The United States should not admit those who engage in acts of bigotry or hatred (including ‘honor’ killings, other forms of violence against women, or the persecution of those who practice religions different from their own) or those who would oppress Americans of any race, gender, or sexual orientation.”

When I was listening to what the president was saying, I found it laughable that he thinks that all people should be “vetted”. When someone is being vetted,that means that they will be investigated heavilty. The reason why I found his statement laughable is because Trump has problems with those who are gay and lesbians. He also has issues with race and so on. I know many won’t agree, but it is what it is. I guess I have issues with those who thinks they are better than others and they put themselves higher than Christ.

I have absolutely no problem when it comes to making sure that those who come into our country are here legally and that they haven’t committed crimes against others or are planning on hurting and killing people from our country. But, I do find it horrible that people are ready to hate on someone because they may look different and they don’t speak English.  No matter what country they are from, all people should have a clean record and have never commited a crime such as murder. I have absolutely no problem with keeping criminals out of our country that’s fine. That’s important to do.

A friend of my posted this image on my Facebook Page.  Since I have been working on this post. they said that Trump is like Jesus. He is going to be the one to save the world

What I’m upset with is those who are that Trump is going to come riding his white horse across the country to save the day.

Here’s what Jesus tells us will happen to those who doesn’t pass His criteria when it comes to going to Heaven: They will “go off to eternal punishment.” Or as he says elsewhere in Matthew about those who fail this test: “Throw this useless servant into the darkness outside, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.”

Of course, the United States isn’t heaven, and Donald Trump isn’t God. But if the President and conservatives want to enact vetting based on the teachings of Jesus, they should look to Christ himself.

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus tells us what it is he requires from his followers for entry into heaven, his domain: Feed the hungry. Give drink to the thirsty. Welcome strangers. Clothe the naked. Minister to the sick. Visit the imprisoned. Here are some Bible verses that I live by each and every day.

John 3:16-18 

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.

Romans 10:9-13 

Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Matthew 7:13-14“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.

I don’t know why Christians would think it would be funny to have all of those who are from foreign countries or those who have come to the United States illegally to go to Hell.   I know that we all have to follow the law, but I do make mistakes. I drive to fast and I forget to turn on my signal and so on. One of my friends was deported because she didn’t register her car. She was pulled over because of that. She was 2 days past the time to get her tags. So she was arrested and sent back to El Savadore.

Mexican-Food (1)When I was younger there was a family that came to our farm. They needed work so he could feed his family.  They were given jobs and they also were given a single wide trailer. All I can remember about his name is that his name was Miguel. I would go visit his family everyday. I wanted to learn more aboout their culture. They had two children and his wife was super sweet. I was introduced to Mesican food for the first time because of them.

There were nights that our family didn’t have any food in our house. My parents did the best they could, but one night I was at Muguels home and they were getting ready to sit down and eat. They asked me if I would like to stay and eat. I told them I was fine, they can go a head and eat. That’s when they made me sit and eat with them. I must have been really hungry. They asked me if I would like to take some home with me. I told them that I would get in trouble if I told anyone that our family had no food at all. Instead, she made up a plate of burittos, beans and rice. She told me to tell my parents that they had so much and they didn’t want to throw it away.

I did tell my parents that and I was very scared of telling them that. If mom and dad thought I was begging for food I would have been beaten literally. When I gave the dishes of food to mom, mom had tears running down her face. There was so much food for us, that we even had left overs for the next day. If it wasn’r for Migeuls family we would have gone hungry for that night and the next day. We hated it when there was no school. If there was no school, most days we didn’t eat.

When I hear all of the hatred that people have towards the Mexican people that they don’t know, it breaks my heart big time. Then I have had some close friends who have said that Mexicans and those who are Democrates should go to hell also and they are destroying America. They feel that just believing isn’t going to be enough for a person who votes for democrats or those who are liberals are all destined to go to hell. One woman who I have known for many yearts said that everyone who didn’t vote for Trump or the Republicans have no place in Heaven and she said she wouldn’t even sit with someone that is from Mexico and she wouldn’t sit next to a Democrat.

For those who aren’t going to be entering Heaven, there are a variety of thoughts that people have and what I imagine for them. Either they will be thrown into outer darkness and they will be wailing and grinding their teeth. Personally I find it horrible when people post this image that shows the Gates of Heaven and how Heaven has walls.   If you want to learn more about the grinding of teeth and the wailing, click here. This is a good page to learn about that and what it means.

When I read this verse from, John 3:16 I can’t even fathom Heaven having the kinds of walls that us humans and politicians can put up.  

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

I totally understand that all countries and our country as well has specific standards. I also feel that if someone is going to be in our country they need to go through the legal chain of events. With the way things are now, there are a lot of hoops to jump through and it is very costly. Most of those who are coming into out country are looking for a better life.

My family worked in the agricultural business. My dad worked in cotton fields and other various crops. We lived close to the border of Mexico by Yuma, AZ. Many of those who found their way to our farm wasn’t here legally. This was back in the 70’s and I’m sure things have changed somewhat. But, we have never had any problems out of those who found our farm. They were some of the nicest people. My dad and sisters lives around 20 miles from the border of Mexico right now. They are by Douglas, AZ. The haven’t had any problems.

But, I absolutely believe that if someone wants to become an American, they should do that legally. I know it costs a whole lot of money and takes a lot of time, but, it’s best to do it legally. I don’t know of any other country that would let us just stay or live in their country without a visa or proper documents. No matter what country you are visiting or wanting to stay, you have to stay there legally.

Now, when it comes to those children(Dreamers) who only knows the United States and they don’t know anyone that they are supposed to be related to, they should be able to stay since they came as babies or young children. I don’t know all of the answers for these children, but I know that if they were my children, I would want the best for them.

image (2)When I had friends of mine posting and sharing this image it made me sick. They are Christians and they believe anything and everything that Trump says and does. It bothers me beyond words when I hear people say , “Make America Great Again.” I know it is a slogan, but I feel like we already  live in the most amazing country ever. There are many things that we could do better. But, when people say “Make America Great Again:, it makes me think about how horrible out country really is.

When this image came up on Facebook, it really called a lot of frustration. Why in the world would anyone think it’s OK to compare how Heaven has a wall and so should American. It drives me bonkers big time.

There is mention of walls and gates in the Book of Revelation. Click Here to read about t

he meaning for that. Here is a paragraph to that commentary and then you can read more about it. It is pretty inspirational and informational.

So, Jesus Christ — like Donald Trump — specific standards for entry into his land. But we would do well to remember that when it comes to getting into Heaven, you just need to  accept Jesus Christ as the Son of God. , We also must admit that we are sinners. the last are first, the poor are blessed and prodigal children are always welcomed home. Not bad advice for the President who claimed upon taking office he would “make Christianity strong in America again.”

I have a friend who lives in Indiana that has been posting crap that was all from websites that are lies and made up instead of fact checking things. I can’t wait till 2020 gets here and I hope we get a new president. But, like I said, I didn’t post it so you guys can see it

Chuck said that “I thought you hated political posts”. I do hate political posts for sure and I dread the political season. I’ve started seeing that crap as advertisements on youtube and all kinds of crap. I try not to block friendships. I have already fully blocked 5 friends in the last week over this post.

When people think that, I find it horrible and I’m seeing it from those who say they are Christians. Heaven is open to all who have accepted Christ and believe. That’s like people thinking that people from Mexico and foreign countries are going to go to hell

I want to end this post by sharing the Sinners Prayer.

“Dear God,

I know I’m a sinner, and I ask for your forgiveness.
I believe Jesus Christ is Your Son. I believe that He died
for my sin and that you raised Him to life.
I want to trust Him as my Savior and follow Him as Lord,
from this day forward. Guide my life and help me to do your will.
I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.”

Did you pray this prayer?

A Bit Frustrated- Warning- This is a Vent Post!

I have a very dear friend that I have known for over 20 years. Her daughter went to school with my daughters. My friend and her husband and kids lived with us for a short time when they moved to our area.

The other night my friend called me and wanted to ask my opinion. She knows that I love the Lord and that I’m a Christian. A few years ago, she started going to a non-denomination church in a little city that is about 15 minutes from Denver. I was actually surprised by this call because she was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness and she got excommunicated about 10 years ago. I won’t mention her name since she may not appreciate it.


My friend was asking me to help her find a different church in her area. The one she has been going to is in the middle of doing sermons based on the Second Coming of Christ. She wants to find a church that is around Broomfield.  Broomfield I think is close to Denver. I have never lived in Colorado, so I told her I would see what I can find out. She is really wanting to find a church where the Pastor covers a number of topics. She’s feeling like she is listening to the same sermon every Sunday.

As I was talking to her I was typing out what she was asking me. This was a three-hour conversation and I had a very long outline. Since the blog would have been about 6 pages, I wanted to get some help on gathering my thoughts. I needed it to be divided and  putting the paragraphs in order. I immediately regretted sending the rough draft I had to the four people I sent it to.  The reason why is that each of the people who I needed help from took it personally and all of them interjected what they thought the blog was about. I may even regret sharing this since I ended up with so many negative thoughts. I so wanted to tell them that ” It isn’t about you!”, “It isn’t about our church!”, “It has nothing to do with anyone where I live!”.


As I was talking to my friend and I was doing my best to gather my thoughts and I also pray for the right answers. After I sent the rough draft to a few people, I felt like I obviously worded things wrong. I also feel like I need to walk on eggshells since the four people who I sent it to take it too personal and each person got upset because I feel like they thought it was about them. When it had nothing to do with our church and my friends.

Since I was trying to help my friend by reaching out to those who I know that may have advice, I regretted sending it to them. Last night after I got some very long replies from a few people, I realized that I shouldn’t ask for advice from those who I would think would have the answers or maybe give me advice on helping her. Most of last night and all of my waking time today I realized that when I ask for advice or help, that things can be taken the wrong way.

I have been doing a lot of praying about things. My husband knows that I am upset over things. Just like the responses that I received, I may be getting more upset then I need to be. I do my very best to not hurt others. I do my best to be helpful. I also pray for people and for answers.

I only had one friend from church that read what I wrote in seach of answers that was helpful. She knew what I was saying in my rough draft and I appreciated the fact that she understood what I was saying and she said she would help me organize that blog. I know it was a very long blog, and it needed to be organized. So, I really appreciate that. She didn’t make me feel like I was saying terribly mean things about my church. I told her I was and am to the point of just stopping the things I do.

But, I know if I did that, it would cause a great deal of issues. I guess I’m very frustrated and nobody is willing to listen to what I’m saying. Anything I say or do is taken in the wrong way. I told my husband that I wonder why I keep trying. But I know it would affect a whole lot of people if I just threw in the towel. So, I can’t do that.

I wanted to help my friend and when I got the responses I did, I realized that I also need to make sure to pray. I told my husband today that I just wanted to throw my hands in the air and just “give up”. No matter how things are worded, then people take it the wrong way or they think it’s about them.

I’m tired of people blowing things out of proportion, especially when it has nothing to do with them. I came across this image about. I am still working on a blog to help my friend. But at the same time I know that I will have work on my answers to my friend. But, and this is a big but, I may have to ask some other people since the four I sent it to made it more about our church, when it was supposed to be about helping her find the right church where she can grow.

I sent a private message to a good friend asking for prayers. Since I was getting responses that were very negative, I got really upset with them. I didn’t get any responses that could help my friend. Instead I got responses that had nothing to do with her problem. I would love to hear what anyone’s responses would be.

I also need a lot of prayers since I’m getting upset over things going on. I have even talked to my daughter about things and she says people are petty. So, I know it would do absolutely no good talking to her. I guess when I ask for prayers or help, I now know that I need to go directly to God since those who I ask for help or answers aren’t understanding. I’m very frustrated over this.I know I shouldn’t be. I just feel like I’m talking to a wall and the walls are silent.  I’m sure this blog will disappoint people since it will be taken the wrong way.

Since I only got responses that made me feel like I can’t ask anyone about how to give the best advice for my friend. I know that the rough draft I sent to a few people was long. I just needed the blog organized so I can give my friend the best advice I can give her.

I want to leave a very loud comment and ending to this blog post…



Can you all keep me in your prayers. I have been struggling with a few things. I don’t want to go into it. But God does know what my needs are. And mostly can you pray for my friend. She is in need of finding the right church for herself. She lives outside of Denver and I don’t know that area at all. 

Country Devided

Matthew 5:43-48 ESV 

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? …

sermon_nukahbOver the past month my heart has been hurting for a number of reasons.  For the most part it’s because of divisions of people. Not really about the kind of divisions that happen at church. I’m talking about the anger, resentments, children and families being torn apart. I try my best to stay out of political stuff on my blog and on my Facebook Page. While all the things going on in the world is eating at my heart, I decided I needed or wanted to share some of my thoughts.  I honestly believe that Satan is causing division and hatred in our world.

  1. I’m sick and tired of hearing about this wall that supposedly Mexico will pay for it.
  2. All those in the migrant caravans are murderers and rapists.
  3. Trump claims that he doesn’t hate immigrants. He loves America and he wants to see our country to be great again. So, his way of showing how much he loves our country is  by keeping the country partially shut down. Families can’t pay truer bills. Families are going hungry and they can’t get their medications.  With that kind of love, who needs enemies.
  4. I totally get that if anyone wants to come to America, then they should be here legally.

What’s really bothering me more than these things is that even Trump is those who say they love people. I have seen many changes in the last 5-6 years when it comes to showing honest Christian love. To me all of this seems like a reality show. When people’s lives and families are being destroyed at every turn, it becomes very real, real fast/

I want to give a bit of a background and part of a conversation I have had over the past few weeks. This conversation began with  a young man sharing his rallying cry that

  • Psalm 119:88: “Revive me according to Thy loving kindness, So that I may keep the testimony of Thy mouth”

In the mid 70’s I attended a little church called Willcox Church of the Nazarene. Pastor Harry Myers put together a revival. In my church it is best described as a series of worship services in which a visiting preacher, and sometimes a visiting choir director, come to a church to lead special worship services.

When you attend these services there is usually a special emphasis placed on leading people. The evangelist who was visiting our church focused on building a personal relationship with Christ and with Christs people. I really think we need Revival in America again.  We NEED GOD in AMERICA and in our WORLD. It isn’t going to be Trump or any world leader that can pull us through the hatred. 

Packer lists five Marks of Revival:
(1) Awareness of God’s Presence
(2) Responsiveness to God’s Word
(3) Sensitiveness to sin
(4) Liveliness in Community – A revived church is full of life, joy, and power of the Holy Spirit
(5) Faithfulness in testimony – an evangelistic and ethical overspill into the world.

I don’t want to make this blog all about Trump. The reason why is because he is the effect. Satan is using him as a tool to destroy our world.

As I was thinking about what to write I had a conversation on my heart. It was a conversation about how evil liberals are. This gentleman will post pictures of him and his family going to church. As he attends church he goes out of his way and sharing how all Democrats and liberals are no better than Satan and that they should die in the fiery pit.

Those who do not yet have a relationship with Him, to Christ. The church members often help out by doing such things as singing in the “revival choir,” bringing their friends to “pack a pew night,” or serving pizza to teenagers before the service on “youth night.” Sometimes the services are preceded by “cottage prayer meetings,” where the members go to a member’s home to pray together for the services. This is pretty much what the word meant as we heard it growing up. Because of this tradition, there remains a “terminological inexactitude” (to borrow a phrase from Churchill) among many Baptists concerning the meaning of the term, revival.

  • At the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association (BGEA), our mission is every Christian’s mission: “go and make disciples” (Matthew 28:19, NIV). The stakes couldn’t be higher, because lives—and eternity—hang in the balance. Only Jesus Christ gives abundant, peace-filled life now and forever, and the alternative is despair, hopelessness, and eternal separation from God. Each service during Revival Week focused on something else.  I wish our church did Revivals.
  • “Revival is that sovereign work of God in which He visits His own people, restoring and releasing them into the fullness of His blessing.” – Robert Coleman
  • Revival is a return to spiritual health after a period of decline into sin and broken fellowship with God… Revival is for God’s people when they need to be forgiven and restored to life, spiritual health, and vitality” -Blackaby & King
  • “Revival is an extraordinary work of the Holy Spirit producing extraordinary results.”

My biggest issues with Trump is that feels that he is superior over anything and anyone. He’s a complete rear end. Some people say that he isn’t politically correct.

Here’s my list of reasons I have no respect for him as a person or a President.

  1.  He hates Mexicans, African-Americans, poor people, gays/lesbians. non super models, women, democrats and anyone who doesn’t kiss his butt.
  2. It really bothers me that he is treating our country and Americans like they are in a reality show.

He’s not “politically correct.”

He thinks he’s just “telling it like it is.” Sure, if you think that white males are superior and should keep ruling the world. Instead, he’s just a hateful asshole who likes to slam Muslims, Mexicans, women, gays, blacks, transgender people, poor people, and anyone who’s not a fat orange ball of hate with no innate intelligence or talent who’d be mopping floors if it wasn’t for daddy’s money.

I wrote a personal letter to my friend since it was her son that I blocked on my wall. I will just share a bit of that conversation. I let her know that I removed (*******) from my friends list. I told her I was tired of all of the hateful posts that was said from Trump. I’m tired of hearing about all of the hateful posts that was directed at anyone and everyone who didn’t agree with them.  He also didn’t have a problem when Trump was having affairs on his wife.

I finally had enough when he said that all liberals should go to hell and that all Democrats are worse than pond scum and leeches. I  always vote for the person, not the party. So according to him, I’m pond scum. I prayed heavily on if I was unfriending him because of his racists comments or where I hear people say that even though they are Christians, it’s OK to treat people this way since they are from Mexico or other countries.

All people no matter where they come from should be respected. People shouldn’t be judged because of where they were born. If people are coming to our country, they should be here legally. It blows my mind that Christians are claiming at any one from Mexico is an enemy of our country. Instead of showing love and compassion to others, we are showing them hatred. I’m actually doing blog on this topic. We even have people at my church hating on others that visit. Instead of being Christlike, we are turning them away. But, the biggest thing that get’s me is when as Christians, we are to build people up and to show thm Christianity and love. Lately, I see our country that I love as being was of the most hateful of all nations.

If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” 

But that’s the whole deal, isn’t it? Getting God’s people to humble themselves, to pray, to seek God’s face, and repent? It would seem that if all that is happening, you have revival! The condition being met in this passage leads to forgiveness and restoration; at least that’s what it says after the word, “then”.

So, should we pray for revival? Of course! That’s what we see the Psalmist doing in the verses above. But can we reduce the work of a sovereign God to a man-dependent formula? No. Revival is the work of God. We pray for it because we are dependent upon Him to send it.

He is also convinced by all of the right-wing papers when they say all kind of things. As I research his comments, I realize how dangerous these conspiracy theories are. This young man is a very intelligent person. I just don’t understand how a man of faith and professes that he takes everything to the Lord would believe things that the Lord. The Lord is all about love and truth.